Legend of the Galactic Pirates
by Emperor Vladislav
Summary: A complete reimagining of the One Piece story. A young man, considered insane by some, embarks on a jurney to find the One Piece, entering the world of space piracy. He gathers a crew, each member with their own ambitions. But pirates beware: the Terran Government doesn't take kindly to your kind. For more info see author's note.
1. Dawn of a new Age

**And this is - as you can surely deduce - the first chapter of 'Legend of the Galactic Pirates'. Those of you lubberly rats that don't go sailing the Internet with empty heads - hopefully none of those came here - will probably notice that this is a sci-fi setting (duh!).**

 **This story is a reimagining of One Piece, with its unique setting, changed Devil's Fruits, political status and more. Our protagonist is (slightly) more mature, as you shall notice. Also, his reason for becoming Pirate King is much deeper than it would seem.**

 **The Terran Government becomes our - sort of - menacing, mysterious antagonist, as it will become obvious in the later chapters. They will become that antagonist never shown explicitly, but always implied by the characters to be the root of all problems.**

 **For more info, start reading now!**

 **One last thing. English is not my first language, so feel free to point out any grammatical errors you notice.**

 **Reviews are appreciated, even the negative ones. And while you're at it, check out some of my other stories, please!**

 **There'll be lots of referrences to other media. You get a metaphorical cookie for each you find.**

 **Now you can begin. Have fun!**

* * *

Piracy... Quite the usual occurrence on unprotected routes and in far-off regions. Humanity has known it for as long as they knew naval trade. The idea of easy financial gain has, for millenia, attracted scoundrels, outcasts and the poor to sail as criminals.

But in some instances, to some people, it became more than just greedy hunt for trade vessels or treasure transporters. In times of opressive governments, the idea of becoming a criminal became a symbol of freedom. Of breaking the chains of the injust laws that bound the common folk. To be a pirate was to escape land, set sail for adventures, writing your own laws. Many people, beggars, outcasts, slaves, sometimes even lower bluebloods, would turn to piracy simply due to those ideas.

The ideal land. Governed by the people, led by a righteous captain. That's what the ideal of a pirate ship became. Pirates became, even in popular culture, a symbol of rebellion. The ruthless, cold-blooded raider became a symbol of hope to those that didn't have anything to be robbed of. Should a pirate become so powerful all pirates would follow him, a rebellion would rise against the government and, as such, in times of opressive governments the idea of piracy was, for a commoner, a fight for freedom, while, for a person in power, it became a crime to take seriously.

Even as the human race began colonising beyond its own star system, once trade was established, piracy followed. The first space pirates were considered a hindrance to progress or, once humanity discovered other countries in their galaxy, they became a tool to use for weakening their enemies, privateers raiding with the permission of the government. But, as centuries passed, another golden age of piracy was approaching.

In the year 645 of the Terran Calendar, or 2954 Anno Domini, a great pirate, Gol D. Roger, commonly known as 'Gold' Roger was facing the gallows. Unlike the hanging of a common pirate, however, this execution would change the face of the galaxy. Gold Roger was, in fact, a well respected pirate who had earned himself the title of 'Pirate King'. The very idea of a Pirate King was a threat to the Terran Government, for he was a symbol of rebellion, of freedom.

Roger knew that his life was done. Once the trapdoor under his feet opened he would fall, being caught by the rope around his neck. If he was lucky, his neck would snap. If not, he would slowly suffocate. He would, in any case, die and the title of Pirate King would be left vacant. So, before the executioner could pull the lever, he grinned madly at the crowd gathered before the execution stand, uttering the words that would start a new age.

„Ye wanna know what happened to me treasure?! Anyone of ye can have it! But ye'll hafta find it first! All I 'ave... accumulated o'er the years is hidden in tha' place, all in one piece. But mark me words: only a true pirate will find-..."

Before he could finish the executioner ended him, feeling the imfamous pirate had said enough.

Those words motivated pirates from all the corners of the galaxy to set sail into the mystical Grand Line corridor within the very Centre of the Galaxy in order to find the 'One Piece'.

* * *

Our story begins twelve years later in the Foosha Settlement on Feudal Planet Goa, also referred to as Dawn IV in the Dawn star system in the outer part of the Blue Sector, a relatively small farming colony in one of the more remote regions of the planet.

Foosha, though a small town of no more than a thousand inhabitants with less than three thousand in the surrounding area, was the centre of its own region and had relatively developed infrastructure - for a settlement on a frontier planet, that is.

Its provisionary spaceport, usually used by shuttles traveling between the small colony and the planetary capital, was, due to being less controlled, sometimes visited by pirate ships. Some wanted a rest after a long period of being in space, others to share stories.

„And so I said to him: 'I'll inform your next of kin that you suck!'"

A pirate captain was sharing tales of his adventures with a small child, at Party's Bar, a tavern often frequented by whomever landed in the small town.

The pirate in question was a red-haired caucasian man in his late twenties. His tanned skin showed that he was an adventorous man, often exposing himself to solar rays on his jurneys. Three scars, scratches from some creature or another, ran over his left eye. The man was wearing a black overcoat over bare skin, open to reveal a fit, agile body. A hat made of straw, a rarity in this day and age, decorated his head.

The child was about seven standard years old, caucasian with a few asiatic features, indicating at there being at least one asiatic ancestor in the past five generations. He, too, was tanned, but in his case it was due to the exposure to the rays that reached the surface of the planet. He wore shorts and a white T-shirt, a typical attire for the warm climate the Foosha Region had. His messy raven hair made him recognisable as the adventurous type, his dark eyes shining with mischief, but the most significant part of his face were his thin lips, almost always streched in a toothy, mischievous grin. A fresh scar, cut with a knife, ran horisontally below his left eye.

„Wahahaha!" The child laughed loudly. „And what happened then, Shanks?"

„Then?" the red-haired pirate, Shanks, continued. „Then he charged at me in rage, with all the strength his injured body could muster, bumping right into my outstreched fist!" He took a swig of his drink. „I didn't even have to punch him! Hahahaha!"

The pirates gathered around started laughing as well, raising their glasses to their captain's victory. Aye, that was one fight to remember. Good times.

„Makino! More rum!" Shanks shouted cheerfully, the dark-haired waitress bringing him another bottle of the intoxicating nectar.

„Shanks! I wanna go with you next time you go up!" the kid said pleadingly, his grin never fading.

The pirates laughed at his demand.

„Ha! You? You couldn't even swab the decks, let alone fire a cannon or calculate a warp jump!"

„Tha space lanes ain't a place for tiny brats!"

„Your balls haven't even dropped yet, lad!"

The child frowned, the bright grin disappearing. „Hey! I'm not just some brat! I'm tough!"

This caused the pirates to laugh even louder.

„Heh... Look, Luffy," Shanks said once he calmed down a bit. „Space travel... is no joke. So much can go wrong. Supernovas, stray warp ripples, miscalculation of your course, malfunction of your gravity generator... Could you move around in zero gravity, Luffy? Could you?"

„I can learn!" the child, Luffy, defended, balling his fist in frustration.

The pirate captain smiled at his conviction. „For now you should focus on your studies. Remember: knowledge is power. A pirate needs his mind to be as sharp as his cutlass."

Luffy looked like he was about to retort but was interrupted when the tavern's door opened and a group of tough-looking men entered. They were all armed and grinning pompously. One of them, their leader, a tall, dark-skinned man with black hair, a black goatee, and an X-shaped scar above his right eye, wearing a long red coat over a white shirt, black trousers, and a golden necklace, stepped forward to the bar.

„So these are pirates, eh?" he wondered out loud. „They look more like a bunch of grocers to me, boys!" His men laughed in agreement. „Tremble in fear, pirate weaklings! I am Higuma, the brigand with an 80.000 Terran coin bounty on his head!" To put it in perspective, that's eight times the annual income of a citizen of the Holy Terran Republic of Humanity in the 'middle class'.

The coin was the standard currency of the Terran Republic. It was an electronic currency, meaning it only existed in banks and handheld credit containers, causing it to be more commonly known as the Terran Credit. In the outer regions of the Republic people prefered to use physical currencies, the outer sectors devising monetary units out of minerals.

„No problem!" Makino said. „We serve everyone here."

The bandit leader turned towards the waitress. „Me and my boys are thirsty. We came here to... 'pro-crue' some rum. Ten barrels'll be enough, right boys?!"

„Yeah!"

The waitress looked at him appologetically. „Sorry, but we're all out of rum."

„Yeah, looks like me and my boys drank this place dry," Shanks commented, grabbing the bottle he had just recieved. „There's one bottle left if you want it though..."

The planetary bandid stared menacingly at the pirate, gazing at him with a look that would make an average man tremble in fear. He grabbed the bottle and inspected it for a moment before smashing it on the red-haired man's head. Shanks fell over from the shock of being hit on the head, balancing himself by leaning on the bar.

„One bottle?! That's not nearly enough for me, space rat!"

Shanks looked at his suit, then at the floor. The rum had soaked them, leaving a attractively-smelling puddle. All the while the brigand continued.

„Is this all there is to pirates?! A bunch of weak, useless outcasts who want to play criminal?! You go up into space, but what do you have to show for it?!"

Shanks sighed. „Great! Now the floor is all wet!" he looked at the waitress. „Makino! Get me a mop, please!"

„Right away, Shanks!"

The bandit leader grinned, drawing his sword and swinging the bar a few times, nocking over some plates of food.

„Since you like cleaning so much..." he explained, laughing all the way to the door. The departing gang could be heard for minutes as they laughed.

Luffy, who had observed the whole exchange, was pissed. He approached Shanks, who was now mopping the floor.

„Why didn't you do anything?!" he yelled. „Why would you let a nobody like him walk all over you?!

„Because he _was_ a nobody," Shanks explained calmly. „Look, kid... There are some battles that aren't worth wasting your energy on. Out there in the vastness of space, there are people who will provoke you for their amusement." He paused. „To fight them... would be... to stoop to their level."

The tavern was silent for a few moments before the Red Hair Pirates broke out in laughter at their captain's attempt to sound wise.

„Hahaha! Yeah! Nice excuse, cap'n!"

„Heh! There's a word for that! Pacifism!"

„Haha! Or as I call it, cowardice!"

Luffy glared at the red-haired captain. „Your crewmen are right! Where's your pride!? Where's the awesomeness in letting that old guy mock you!?"

Shanks finished mopping the floor. „... I have things to do." With that he walked over to some of his crewmembers' table.

Luffy couldn't believe it. Shanks, who had just been telling him about his glorious adventures, was nothing but a coward. And he didn't even have the guts to admit it. Luffy noticed a small chest on the table Shanks was by. It was open, revealing a strange looking fruit. It was violet, spherical shaped, with a stem sprouting out of the top, with swirls that went in a curly "S" like-pattern.

A mischievous grin formed on Luffy's face, his eyes sparkling rather creepily, an indication that he had just had one of his... brilliant ideas. He decided to express his disagreement with Shanks' inaction and he knew how to do it.

The pirates, deep in conversation, weren't paying attention to the boy.

„We aren't sure what type it is, though."

„It doesn't matter. It should fetch about a million Credits on the black market."

Shanks smiled. „That's quite the ammount." He heard munching sounds to his right. He turned to see Luffy chewing something. 'What is he-?' Realising what it could be he checked the chest. It was empty.

„Luffy! Spit that-..." before he could finish, Luffy swallowed.

Almost instantly, Luffy felt strange. As if he suddenly knew every muscle in his body. He could feel everything, even his bones. Then, a train of information hit his head, filling his mind with knowledge about his body and how to use it. Then his entire body started to feel as though its compsoition changed, as if the molecules building it changed their properties.

„Luffy!" Shanks grabbed the boy, who now stood emotionless and absent-minded before him, by the shoulders, shaking him. „Do you realise what you've just done!?"

Luffy shook his head slowly, though it seemed like he didn't even hear the question.

„You just ate a Devil's Fruit! That's a litteral deal with the Devil!" the captain screamed. „You might get some cool powers, but at what price!?"

Devil's Fruits are believed to be the creation of one of the precursor civilisations that existed tens of thousands of years before any of the current civilisations knew space travel. How they work is still unknown, but what they do is so bizzare some consider them a myth. Once eaten they'll immediately induce a strange substance into the user's bloodstream, sometimes changing their body slightly, but always inducing some form of knowledge into their brain, telling them how to use their body or create implants for their body - as well as how to use said implants. However, it has some side effects; it also induces knowledge irrelevant to the ability gained, most commonly said to be the 'secret of the universe'.

Which is not as great as one would think, if the rumors about Devil's Fruit users are true.

„You could get a completely useless power and be scarred for life!" Shanks continued to shake Luffy, causing his body to twist in irregular manners.

All present could see it. Luffy's body had bdcome very flexible and even somewhat strechy, reacting like really hard rubber to Shanks' shaking.

Shanks, too, noticed this and stopped. Luffy was back in his starting postion of standing mindlessly before him. The shaking seemed to bring him out of his thoughts, but he still looked rather out of it.

„That must have been the Gum Gum Fruit," Shanks speculated. „Your body will react like rubber to outside forces..."

„Will I... be like rubber then?" Luffy asked, his excitement indicating that he was broken out of his thoughts.

„Not sure. I believe you'll definitely have more control of your muscles and be more resistant to strikes... But that doesn't matter! What did you see?! What kind of secret about the universe did you learn?!"

Luffy remained silent, his face darkening. His eyes went wide as her remembered what he had seen. Crying in agony, he ran out of the tavern, somewhat answering the pirate's question.

Shanks wanted to run after the boy but decided against it. Whatever he had learnt about the world would haunt him for the rest of his life, but trying to calm him down might make matters worse. It would be better to let him figure it out on his own.

„You think he'll be okay?" Makino asked.

Shanks wasn't sure how to answer that. 'What is 'okay'?' he could say. Now that Luffy was turning into a rubber boy, with whatever knowledge he had gained, life would never be the same for the small boy.

„He... He's a strong kid," he finally said. „Whatever he just saw... He'll get over it."

'I just hope he'll be okay...'

* * *

It was a few days later that Luffy finally returned to the tavern, the day when the Red Hair Pirates were leaving Foosha for good. They had stayed for a year, using the town as their base of opperations, but it was time for them to go up and set sail for new space.

The boy sat at the bar in the empty tavern. His childish look in his eyes was back, a contrast to the dark look he had when he left a few days previously. Whatever had happened in that time, he somehow got over the truth he had learnt and was back to being the good old grinning brat.

Or so it seemed.

„Makino! How about some meat over here?" he said cheerfully. But it wasn't the energetic cheerfulness he used to have. Well, it was still energetic, but something about it seemed off. Before, it was the cheerfulness of a naïve, innocent child. Now it was as though he knew some harsh truths about the world but didn't care, wanting to have fun regardless. It was the cheer one asociated with an insane adult.

„Oh, Luffy! Aren't you going to see the Red Hairs off?" the waitress asked.

„Nah... Those guys can leave on their own, my help would only bring them in the direction opposite of where they wanted to go."

Makino was stunned by his words. She wasn't sure whether he was being childish, mature, humorous or all at once. He used to be easy to understand, a child wanting adventure, but now... He had changed.

„... Okay..."

She brought him the meal he ordered. He started eating gluttonously, stuffing himself. Makino watched him eat in wonder. The boy still looked and acted the same, but she just couldn't shake the feeling that something about him was off.

Was it the way he talked? No, it couldn't be. He still talked cheerfully and energetically with that adventure-loving voice. Was it the words he used? Perhaps... His sense of humour was usually very simple, without a hint of sarcasm. He always said whatever he wanted to say directly. Could it be the way he walked into the tavern? Could be... But that could be attributed to the fact that his body acted like hard rubber.

The waitress' train of thought was interrupted when a familiar group entered the tavern. Higuma and his gang had returned to town.

„Heh! It seems those pirate dogs are gone, boss!" one of them said

„Cowards must have buggered off with that tin can they call a spaceship," Higuma agreed. „Hey wench! Get me and my boys something to drink!"

Luffy looked at them, turning from his empty plate. „Watch your tone, brigand," he said menacingly, anger written all over his face. „There's a very nice word we use in situations like this. Start's with a 'p'."

The bandits stared at the boy for a few moments before breaking out in laughter.

„Ha! This kid has guts! Talking to us like that!"

„If he's been learning from those space rats he'll have a lot of trouble in his life!"

Luffy glared at them. „I already have trouble in my life! One being the pain I get when looking at mistakes of nature like you!"

That shut the bandits up. This kid had gone too far.

Higuma stepped towards him. „Boy... I'll give you one chance to say you're sorry."

„Okay. I'm sorry," the boy said without a slight hint of honesty.

„Hm? Sorry for what?" the bandit leader asked, noticing the unflinching menace in Luffy's voice.

„I am trully sorry that you are such an invalid. Trully, you are so repulsive even your mother must have hated you!" With those words he threw a punch at the brigand's stomach.

Higuma was knocked back slightly, surprised at the boy's strenght. But he regained composure soon.

„Grab him!" he yelled.

Following their leader's order the bandits restrained Luffy, not noticing the waitress that had run off to call for help. They dragged him out to the street and started beating him up, kicking, punching and jumping on him.

However, the attacks had no effect on the boy. His rubbery traits transferred most of the forces through his body, leaving his flexible organs and bones unharmed.

After a few minutes of beating the boy the leader told his gang to stop. „So the rumors were true. A child in Foosha ate a Devil's Fruit," he said, grinning. „You know, the Government pays quite a bounty for turning in freaks like you."

Ah yes, the Superior Genes Enclosure Law of 473. 'All citizens of the Republic who show abilities that heavily outclass an average member of its species are to be turned over directly into Terran custody.' Proposed by both the Archparliament of Terra and the High Council of Terra and signed by Supreme Chancelor Grahunschwalg Arlenstein, the law was propagated to be a means to 'prevent the strong from opressing the weak'. In reality, it was a way for the Terran Government to root out all potential symbols of power that weren't under their control.

Luffy glared at Higuma, the beating having no effect on him. „How do you plan on turning me in then, 80.000 coin criminal?"

„Huh?"

„Go ahead, bring me to the authorities. I'll tell them that I've captured you and say you couldn't handle defeat, so you've got this idea into your head that I ate a Devil's Fruit."

If Higuma wasn't angry before, he was now. „Why you little-..."

„Well, well... What do we have here!"

The bandits' eyes left the boy, focusing on the approaching group of people. It was the Red Hair Pirates. The captain stepped forward.

„What do you think you're doing? He's just a kid!"

Luffy turned his head to look at Shanks with an appologetic grin. „Sorry Shanks! I fought valiantly but, as you can see, I was outnubered."

Shanks smiled sadly at him. „Just stay down. We'll take care of these landlubbers."

Higuma laughed. „You?! Take care of us?! We'll see who'll take care of who!"

Luffy glared at him. „Whom!"

„Don't come any closer, space rats, unless you want your brains coocked!" one of the bandits threatened, aiming a laser pistol at the pirates.

Shanks shook his head. „Nice pistol you got there. Can you use it?"

„Huh?"

„A lasgun is not a toy for children," Shanks stated in a menacing tone. „It is a killing weapon. So... Can you use it?"

„Well, I-..."

One of the pirates, a round man with goggles, approached the bandit, brandishing a laspistol of his own.

„Here, let me show ya!"

WOOM!

The pirate fired the laser pistol, the shot burning half the bandit's face. The round man blew at the smoke comming out of his weapon, thinking: 'I really need to get a new cooling system for this gun.'

The bandits screamed in shock. „What the fuck! You killed him!"

„Nice one, Lucky Roo!" the captain complimented.

„Well... I always _aim_ to please!"

The pirates laughed at the lame pun.

„Now look, brigand!" Shanks started, glaring at Higuma. „You can smash bottles on my face. You can insult me all you want. Hell, you can even raid my supply of rum. But you can never, for whatever reason, hurt one of my friends and get away with it!"

„Wait captain, let me handle this."

A large man with long grey hair and an X-shaped scar by his left eye stepped forward. He took the cigarette he was smoking out of his mouth.

„I am Benn Beckman, the first mate of Red Hair Pirates," he introduced himself, giving all the bandits a threatening gaze. „Remember that name and curse it once you are suffering eternal damnation in the pits of Hell."

Putting out his cigarette on a bandit's eye, he charget at his foes, bashing, kicking, breaking bones and snapping necks. Some of the bandits ran away, others fainted in fear. But those that stood their ground - the only ones in the gang worth their salt - got their arses handed to them. In the end, all lay there on the street, unconscious, moaning in pain and, a few of them, dead.

„You still got it, Benn," Shanks complimented.

„Yes I do," the first mate agreed. „Now where is their worthless leader!?"

„Oh, damn it! We were so engrosed in watching you fight he slipped away!"

Their worthless leader had managed to grab Luffy and sneak away right under the pirates' totally not worthless noses. He carried him to the spaceport and stole a shuttle, flying them into space.

To those who don't know: a shuttle is a term used to describe an interplanetary spaceship, incapable of warp travel. The one in question was the smallest type, the civilian sparrow-class.

„Those pirate cowards won't think of looking for me up here," Higuma stated.

„I can't help but notice that you've just very bravely left your men to die," Luffy commented.

„Shut it, brat!" the bandit yelled, grabbing the boy by the neck. „You've caused me a lot of trouble today, kid! My men are done for, my business is ruined..." He carried him towards the airlock and opened the inner hatch. „Well, not anymore. You're going out the airlock you bastard!"

Just then something crashed into the shuttle. Scratching could be heard on the outer airlock hatch. Before Higuma could close the inner hatch, the outer one was ripped apart, revealing a large, twenty sparrow-class shuttles big deep-space creatures.

Nobody knows where those things come from. Some call them organic ships, vacuum entities or deep-space creatures. But all those terms refer to latge creatures that live in the vacuum of space, feeding on almost anything that crosses their path. They include worm-like asteroid dwellers, whale-resembling drifters, 'space amoeba'...

The one in question looked like a cross between a shark and a worm. The hungry creature had its mouth open, having the whole airlock covered.

As the air started to get sucked out of the shuttle, Higuma flew to his doom, screaming all the way into the creature's mouth. Luffy, who had managed to grab the feame of the inner hatch, watched as his captor's voice faded away.

'Damn! I can't die here!'

Suddenly, the space shark/worm turned away from the shuttle. Luffy noticed a man approaching, clad in space armour. He fired a few shots with his pistol, hoping to scare the beast into retreating. However, before the creature retreated, it decided to attack the intruder, biting at his armour.

Luffy couldn't watch. He focused on holding on to the frame of the hatch. He could feel that the air was running out and that he couldn't hold on much longer. Finally, he let go.

He was caught by a strong arm. He could feel being flown back into the shuttle, his savior using a jetpack. The man closed the inner hatch, the sucking of the air stopping. There was just enough to breath healthily.

Luffy looked at his savior, who still held him in his right arm. The man put him on the ground and removed his helmet.

It was Shanks. And his left arm was gone.

Tears gathered in Luffy's eyes.

„Shanks! Your arm!"

„What?"

„Your arm! Your arm's off!"

„No it isn't!"

„It is!"

„This is only a flesh wound!"

„A flesh wound? That?"

„Yes. The price of saving a friend."

* * *

It had been a year. The Red Hair Pirates had used Planet Goa as their base for a year. After the incident with the Higuma bandits they were finally prepared to leave. As the pirates were loading the grey, long, narrow brig-class starship - a starship being a ship with a warp drive - Shanks walked over to Luffy who had come to say goodbye.

„Looks like this is it, kid!" Shanks slowly said. He wasn't really good at goodbyes.

„Looks like it..." Luffy answered.

Shanks scratched the back of his head. „You're not... disappointed you can't come?"

Luffy slowly shook his head. „Not really... You were right, I'm not ready. I haven't neither the strenght nor the knowledge to set sail."

Shanks smiled sadly. „You did get quite fluent with your retho... rethorics. Since you ate that Fruit."

Luffy smiled. „I've been following your advice to 'study up'."

They both stayed silent for a few moments.

„Luffy... What did you see? When you ate that Fruit, I mean?"

The boy stayed silent. His eyes moved towards the floor.

„Well, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine... I really should get go-..."

„Shanks!" the child interrupted him.

„Hm?"

„You may think me weak now! But mark my words. when the time comes, I'll gather a crew much stronger than yours. We'll be the most imfamous terror of the entire galaxy. And we will set sail into the Grand Line and find the One Piece." He looked at Shanks with determination in his eyes. „I shall be... the Pirate King!"

Luffy looked back at the floor, tears falling from his eyes. Partly because of all the emotion he put into that previous statement. Mostly because his idol was leaving. Suddenly he felt something being put on his head. Looking up he saw that the red haired pirate had given him his straw hat.

„That's quite the goal. I want you to take good care of this hat until you reach it. You'll give it back to me once you're King."

And take care of the hat is what Luffy did. For the next decade he never parted with it, all the while training and learning anything that could help him on his jurney.

Ten years later... Luffy was finally prepared to go up himself. The townsfolk had gathered some money to build him a pinnace-class starship. As the type suggested, it was small, the smallest ship type capable of having a warp drive.

„I'm finally ready to leave," the now seventeen-year-old Luffy said to himself. „I've been training for years, now I'm ready to strike, the great operation begins."

The townsfolk had gathered in the spaceport to see the little boy they knew become a man an dset sail.

„Don't you dare bring shame to our town, boy!" the mayor warned.

Luffy looked at the gathered crowd.

„Ladies and gentlemen! This is the day you'll all remember as the day when Monkey D. Luffy followed in his big brother's footsteps and went up!"

As the young man adressed the crowd he couldn't help but notice a lone, shady figure in the background. Though he couldn't see his face, he knew who it was. But we don't. Sorry!

Luffy entered the bridge of the ship. The launchpad raised itself, moving the ship from a horisontal position into a vertical one. The youth started the engines and, with a strong push, he lifted off the ground, speeding towards orbit.

Once he exited the atmosphere he ran into an old acquantance. The deep-space creature noticed him and propelled itself towards him by expelling gasses out of its - I'm not sugar-coating this – arsehole.

„Aha! We meet again! But trust me, this is one remach you can't win!"

The teen fired a few shots from his front - and only - cannon right at the beast's forehead, causing said creature to miss him. The creature died a few hours later, in severe pain. But that's irrelevant, our hero was preparing to enter warp.

'Okay... my trajectory should be... The target is there... I think... The distance... Man, this is harder than I thought. I need to get myself a navigator. Or a computer. Or both.'

He took a bottle of rum from a special compartment by his seat. A pirate's best friend...

'Now just you wait, dad! You think I can't do it, huh! Well, I'll be the Pirate King!'

Meanwhile, at Party's Bar...

„Damn it! He took five bottles of rum without paying! Again!


	2. Alvida the Genetic Disgrace

**Chapter two. Just like before, keep an eye out for referrences.**

 **By the way, how's your weather? It's snowing here.**

* * *

Interstellar travel. Even in the secure Core Systems of the Republic it was a risk. If your calculations were off by just a bit, you could crash into an unpredicted celestial body and kiss your behind goodbye. Several impact craters on the planets of the Core Systems testify to that.

However, the danger is not only the warp jump. It is the process between them that makes interstellar space piracy possible. The process of travelling between two very distant stars, separated by others, is a series of warp jumps between several stars. The distance of a warp jump is not unlimitted and is dependent on the warp core, which needs recharging. Once a starship jumps into a system, it usually takes about two to seven hours for the core to recharge, depending, of course, on the ship type and the quality of the core, plus the time needed for getting into position for the next jump. During that time, the starship is vulnerable, a perfect target for space pirates, who can attack even with a shuttle.

Nevertheless, the civilian population often took the risk of interstellar travel, not letting the danger get in their way. Many trade vessels, the merchantman-class and the trade-galleon-class, were repurposed for passenger transport way back in the 2nd century of the Terran Calendar, giving birth to the companyman-class, the passenger-galleon-class and the cruise-galleon-class. The Government needed the Republic Citizens to travel between worlds so that they could work where needed most, but also to strenghten their patriotism of Terra and Her colonies.

Thargia is a star in the outer Blue Sector. It is a young star, very close to the edge of the Scutum-Centaurus Galactic Arm, with a wide proto-planetary disc circling around it. The class-k star had a mass of about 1,25 Solar masses. Who knows? Perhaps one day, in a couple of billion years, the spark of life might ignite here...

A ripple in space broke the serenity. From the clockwise-upward-inward direction, a ship was entering the system. The cruise-galleon-class starship exited the warp bubble, a beam light shooting in the direction whence it came, one of the side effects of arriving before its light had.

Ah! You aren't familiar with the standard Galactic navigation system. Well, to put it simply, back when the first explorers were sent out from the Sol system, the then United Nations Organisation decided to create a coordination system for the Galaxy that wasn't based on observation from the Earth, where Sol was the starting point. The first direction is the clockwise-counterclockwise. Basically, it is the direction of or against the imaginary movement of a clock hand that would move through the Galaxy when looked from the direction agreed to be upwards. It is measured in degrees, the 0° being Sol. Upward-downward is the direction through the thickness of the Galactic disc, from the top to the bottom. It is measured in parsecs, the 0 point being the centre of the Galaxy, similar to the inward-outward direction, describing the radius from the Galactic central point. For example, the coordinates of Sol are 0°, +75pc, 8210pc.

The starship, with its standard human starship design resembling steel sea ships turned upside down, was a civilian cruise ship, not heavily armed and designed to take about 200 passengers along with its 35-member crew, on its cruise through the Outer Blue. Its passengers were well-off Republic Citizens, people with quite a financial standing but without full Terran Citizenship.

On the bridge, two sailors in the signature civilian sailor uniforms - white shirt, blue scarf and pants, white sailor cap - noticed something strange on the sensors display. It appeared to be... a beer keg? A rather big one at that. It didn't seem to be orbiting the star.

The sailors informed the captain, who ordered them to take the ship to mach the speed vector of the keg and pick it up, just to be safe. Who knows, it could be lost treasure.

The ship changed its course, chasing the man-sized beer keg. *Sigh!* That sounded stupid. But the beer keg itself, even without treasure, was a treasure on its own. They were created to withstand the most unforgiving pressures. Some even said that if a person were to seal themselves inside it, they could survive the vacuum of space - until the oxygen ran out of course.

The crew managed to take the keg onboard. However, just when they were about to open it to see what was inside, an alarm sounded. The three honks of the siren were followed by words of their captain, coming from the bridge.

„Attention! We have spotted pirates off the starboard heavens bow! The markings belong to the Alvida Pirates! All hands to the bridge!"

The crew, terrified of being attacked by the raiders of space, ran swiftly to fill their posts. The starship closed all windows, the bridge being no exception, replacing the with screens that showed the real-time recording of the outside.

The pirate starship approaching them was a war-brig-class battleship, a medium-sized ship made for up to 100 crew. It was pinkish red with a a white duck-shaped ram at the lowest part of the bow. The symbol of the pirate crew was drawn on the top of the bow, the back of the port and starboard sides and in the middle of both the heavens and depths sides, a white human skull's left profile with a red heart in the middle and two bones crossed behind it. The four front lascannons fired at the turning cruise ship, the precise shot hitting the galleon's stern through its weak shields, severely damaging the main thrusters. The ship was now unable to escape, left for the pirates to approach.

The Alvida Pirates matched the cruise ship's vector, flying by it off the galleon's port side.

Aboard the pirate war brig, the crew of about four dozen pirates were waiting for their captain's orders to extend the boarding bridges, devices that latch onto enemy ships and create sealed-off bridges to the enemy's hull, and attack.

A large, obese woman with germanic facial features, with long black wavy hair and freckles entered the deck. She was wearing a white cowgirl hat with a large red plume, a red neckerchief, a pink plaid shirt, and a blue captain's coat over it. Her hands were decorated with several rings and her long nails were coloured with red polish. In her right hand she wielded a heavy mace as big as her arm. She truly was a sight to behold, a fearsome, terrifying she-pirate.

A maniacal grin formed on her face. „Coby!" she barked in her deep voice. „Who is the most beautiful maiden in all the Galaxy?"

A small, chubby boy, also germanic, of about twelve standard years, wearing round glasses under his pink bowl-cut hair, stepped from behind her. He was wearing a tattered white shirt and black pants, with old shoes too small for him on his feet.

He smiled nervously. „Ah-... That would be our captain Alvida," he said shakily.

„That's right!" she laughed. „Now boys, you know the drill! Take all you can, survivors unnecessary!"

„Aye, m'lady!" the pirates exclaimed, launching the boarding bridges towards the galleon. They marched through them, cut holes into the hull and boarded. With that, their attack began. They experienced no resistance from the crew as they marched through the ship.

„A cruise ship first thing in the morning..." Alvida said to herself. „A good way to start the day."

On one of the higher decks the pirates found a ballroom, the place where the passengers were cowering in fear.

„A'right, ye lubbers!" one of the pirates started. „Hand o'er yer val-... valua-... shiny stuff, 'less ye wan' us ta gut ye!"

The pirates, however, didn't notice an orange-haired girl of about seventeen years sneaking off disguised as one of them, towards where they had boarded.

In the lowest deck Coby was looking for the storage room, hoping to find something valuable and get into Alvida's good books. However, he was surprised to find a man-sized beer keg rolling around the corridor. Trying to lift it, he decided that it had to be full with that weight, so he proceeded to roll it towards the lift. With his fine luck he ran into three of his 'fellow' pirares.

„What's this, squirt! You hiding here, away from the fight?"

„Ah-... N-no," the pink-haired boy stuttered. „I found this keg and thought captain Alvida might want some beer."

The largest of the three pirates smirked. „How about you give us some! We're thirsty!"

„No, I-I-I couldn't!" Coby tried. „Alvida would kill us for drinking on the job!"

The pirate just pushed Coby away from the keg. „Then we'll just have to make sure she never learns about it."

The large man tried to remove the metal cap but it appeared to be locked, perhaps glued to the keg. So, he decided to open the entire keg's top. Those usually weren't irreversibly sealable. He started turning the top in a clockwise direction, unwinding it.

Just as he opened it, something rose from the keg, causing the top so smack him in the face, knocking him out.

„Surprise!"

Coby took a good look of the person that came out of the keg. It was a boy of about seventeen standard years, tanned, with messy medium lenght raven hair. He was wearing an unbuttoned long dark-red frock coat with golden buttons over a black T-shirt that had the words 'Fuck you, I'm drunk!' written on it in white letters. He had blue pants and brown boots that almost reached his knees. The most notable thing about him, though, was the straw hat that rested on his head.

„Good morning!" the raven-haired stranger greeted in his slightly raspy tenor voice. „Say, who are you?"

„What!" the two remaining pirates exclaimed. „Who are you?!"

The youth shook his head. „I asked first!" He tch'd, spitting on the floor. Deciding he didn't really care he turned to Coby. „Say, lad... Where could I get something to eat?"

The two pirates didn't seem pleased with the intruder ignoring them. „Hey, we're talking to you, rat!" they exclaimed, cutlasses pointed at the youth.

The youth tilted his head at them. „Who am I? That what you want to know?"

The two pirates nodded.

„Well, what is I?" the boy started, waving his hands energetically. „What is my identity? What is a person? I'm no philosopher, so I can't really say. But what we can do is try and theorise based on what we know." He pointed at the left pirate. „So, you're you,..." he pointed at the right pirate, „... you're you too,..." he ponted at Coby, „... he's him,..." he ponted at himself, „... I'm me..." he pointed at the one lying on the ground, „... and he doesn't count. So when we're-... wait, this won't work..." He pointed at Coby, „He's you,..." left pirate, „... you're him,..." pirate on the ground,"... he's me,..." himself, „... I'm you too..." right pirate, „And you don't count. So then the-... No, it still doesn't work. You're two me, he's-..."

„Shut up!" the two pirates yelled, finally realising this wasn't going anywhere, swinging their cutlasses at him. Coby shut his eyes, unable to watch. All he could hear were some flaps of skin on skin, probably punches, ripping clothes, screams of pain... Wait, those belonged to one the pirates!

Coby opened his eyes again, seeing that the youth was now victoriously standing above the two defeated pirates, holding something red in his right hand. The left pirate had his lower jaw twisted 90° to the right and two black eyes, with four teeth lying around him. The other had a broken nose and a big red stain on his shirt in the middle of the chest. Upon closer inspection, the shirt, as well as the skin below, were ripped and blood was pouring out. So the object in the youth's hand was...

„Holy shit!" the pink-haired boy exclaimed. „You ripped out his heart!"

The raven-haired teen looked at him and nodded slowly, his face brightening in realisation. „Now it makes sense. I'm two you, you're his me, the lad doesn't count, he's your uncle's wife's him, and the remaining one doesn't exist."

„Why would you rip out his heart?!" Coby screamed, deciding to ignore the fact that he couldn't comprehend a word out of this youth's mouth.

„Yes, lad, yes I did," the raven haired boy answered. „So... What are you called?"

„Coby."

„Well, Cody-..."

„Coby."

„... Coby, I'm captain Monkey D. Luffy."

„..."

„And before you ask, my first name's not Monkey. Officially I'm Luffy Monkey D., but Monkey. D. Luffy rolls of the tongue easier. Anyway... How about some food!"

Coby, still a bit lost, pointed at the door at the end of the corridor. „That's the food storage, but you-..."

„Say no more, mutie!" Luffy waved him off, heading towards the storage room, the 'mutie' following.

Muties are a group of people that carry the genes of the first interstellar explorers. When warp drive was first used, the effects of the prototype model had a small but amazing effect on the human genome. It expressed itself in the colour of the eyes and hair that weren't natural for a human, e.g. pink or purple. Their descendants are still easily recognised by those traits.

„Oh yeah! Food!" Luffy exclaimed as he started stuffing himself with apples, bread, sausages or whatever came into his hands. Coby stared at the raven-haired teen in wonder. This kid had just knocked out two of Alvida's men and killed a third one after all.

„You said you were a captain. So, where's your ship?" Coby asked.

„My ship? I, ah... kinda got caught up in a stray warp ripple entering this system. Just before the hull of my pinnace got ripped I managed to seal myself in that beer keg back there. So I guess I'm currently in the market for a new one."

„Wait, so it was just you?"

Luffy took a bite of cheese. „Yep. I'm on a jurney to recruit a crew, you see."

„A captain without a crew and a ship... What are you even doing out in space?"

„I'm out for complete freedom!"

„Complete..." Coby wondered. „You're a pirate, aren't you," he stated.

„Ah, you're quite the sharp one!" Luffy complimented. „But not just any pirate. I'm out to find the One Pie-... Holy shit, chocolate!"

„The... One Piece?... No, impossible! In order to get it you'd have to reach the end of the Grand Line. No one's ever got that far."

„Apparently Roger did if his treasure's there," Luffy rebutted. „If so many before me have failed it only means it is very hard, not impossible. It's my goal and it's worth dying for."

„Your... goal?"

The straw hatted youth looked at Coby questioningly. „Don't you have a life goal? Something you feel is worth dying for?"

„Well, I... I've always wanted to be a Marine..."

„A Marine? you want to work for the Government?" Luffy wanted to frown but decided against it. „Say, how come you were with those pirates? This _is_ a pirate ship, right?

„No... It's just the cruise ship they-... we're raiding," Coby answered.

„'We'? You're a pirate?"

„Well, not by choice," Coby explained. „Captain 'Iron Mace' Alvida captured me on one of her raids. I've been her cabin boy ever since."

Luffy was now stuffing himself with dry sausage. „Then escape! Become a Marine!"

Coby shook his head. „N-no, I could never. Alvida would h-hunt me down and k-kill me. It's hopeless."

The straw hat wearing youth frowned. „If that's your mentality then it _is_ impossible for you to become a Marine." He sighed. „Coby, let me tell you something. There are two types of people in the Galaxy. There are the sheep, who are always content with their situation no matter how bad it is and see a better life as something unattainable. Then there are the wolves, those who are ready to fight to achieve their high goals, who defeat their fears in order to reach the top."

Coby looked at him in wonder. „So, you think I can achieve my goals if I fight hard for them?"

Luffy nodded. „Don't let your dreams be dreams, just do-... Oh yeah, there's the rum!"

As Luffy opened a bottle of rum and started drinking, Coby contemplated his words. His dream wasn't unattainable. It was just hard to reach. Was he a sheep or a wolf?

Coby clenched his fists. „I am no sheep! I'll join the Marines and hunt down people like Alvida!"

Just then the ceiling above them cracked from being hit by a laser too many times. Into the storage room fell Alvida, still wielding her mace, with a threatening glare aimed at Coby.

„Coby! What is this mutiny!? Did you bring the pirate hunter Zoro to kill me?!" she barked.

Luffy, who was done with his third bottle of rum, wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his coat. „Say, laddie... Who tha feck is tha' fat whale?" he asked loudly, a thick accent in his speech now.

„What was that!?" Alvida screamed, swinging her mace at him.

Luffy dodged to the side and grabbed Coby. „C'mon Cobeh, we're outa 'ere!"

With a hard push he jumped three metres into the air, landing on the deck above. A group of pirates awaited them there. Luffy dodged the first one's slash from the side and grabbed his arm, twisting it until the shoulder was dislocated. Before the second one could follow up he punched him directly in the neck with an open palm, ripping the sking and damaging the veins below. He then grabbed the third one by the face and, with amazing strength, threw him at a group of three pirates.

„Ha! I'll bet they ne'er saw tha' 'un comin'!" he exclaimed.

The rest of the pirates, seeing what he'd done to their comrades, charged at him, yelling: „Kill that rat!"

Luffy broke into a sprint away from them. However, he grabbed a hold of the hinges of one of the open doors. As he continued to run, his arm stretched, losing all colour. The pirates, baffeled at this, stopped to observe the arm.

„Hehe! Gotcha now, ye buggers!" Luffy exclaimed as he jumped, his boots releasing hold of the ground, the stretched arm pulling him back. He aimed his boots at the group of pirates, knocking them over easily.

Coby stared at him, his mouth as open as it could be. „Wh-... What was that?"

„Tha'?" Luffy asked, grinning. „I call tha' move tha Gum Gum Rocket. Basically, I grab hold o' somefin', use me special boots ta move away, strechin' tha arm, then release tha boots' 'old o' tha ground, _rocketin'_ meself back."

„Gum Gum, huh?" a deep female voice asked. Alvida had caught up with them. „So, you ate a Devil's Fruit? Looks like they're not just a legend."

Luffy grinned at her. „Tha's right! I ate tha Gum Gum Fruit, so now I'm rubbah! All o' me is stretchy, even tha... y' know what!"

„Whatever! I was afraid you were some big shot bounty hunter like Zoro Roronoa. But it seems you're just some drunken freak!" She looked at Coby. „Coby, Coby on the... floor! Who is the fairest of them all?"

„Ah-... that's easy. That would be-..." Coby remembered what Luffy had told him. 'I'm a wolf!' he thought. „... Well, definitely not you! You are a disgrace to human women everywhere! You are a hag, a fat b-... bitch! You smell and looking at you makes me gag!"

Alvida stared bewilderedly at the now panting Coby, who was feeling quite relieved now that he managed to release all that had gathered in his two years of service. „WHAT!" she yelled loudly. „YOU WILL DIE FOR THIS MUTINY, RUNT!"

She prepared to swing her mace at him. Coby closed his eyes. 'I have no regrets. I stood up for myself,' he thought.

However, the mace never hit him. When he opened his eyes he saw that Luffy, holding his straw hat in his left hand, got in the way of the weapon, his head being hit instead.

The raven-haired youth chuckled. „Looks like ye're a wolf, lad! Lemme take it from 'ere!"

Alvida raised her mace again. „I don't know how you're not dead, but this time you'll die, rat!"

She swang at him again, but this time Luffy blocked the mace with his left hand, having put the hat back on his head. Then he retracted his right hand, twisting it at an unnatural angle, and charged as much power as he could into it, before striking at the fat she-pirate's stomach. The punch, named the Gum Gum Pistol, sent her flying through the hallway, stopping give metres away where she hit a metal wall, loosing consciousness.

„Victory!" Luffy exclaimed. He then looked at Coby. „Well done, lad! Now, I'm still in need o' a ship! A small 'un should do!"

Coby thought for a moment. „We have two canoe-class starships docked on the depths side of our ship..."

„Tha'll do! Le's go!"

They used the still outstretched boarding bridges to board the ship. Just as they boarded the pirate ship, though, they noticed something on one of the screens. Three Marine battleships were approaching, firing warning shots. At the civilian vessel.

„We gotta hurry!" Luffy decided.

They reached the lowest deck and walked through the dark grey corridor. Just as they reached the first hatch, though, they noticed that an orange-haired girl, hauling a bag of plunder, was already trying to go through it. The knocked out pirate behind her testified to the fact that she wasn't one of them.

As they approached her she noticed them as well. Luffy had a good look of her face. Exotic half-taiwanese half-celtic features. Not a single fleck on her smooth cheeks. Dark eyes that radiated a light of mistery and mischief. Shoulder-lenght orange hair that was clean. Nicely shaped body that was starting to curve in the right places.

„Need any 'elp, m'lass?" Luffy asked.

The girl looked at the youth before her. He didn't seem to be one of the pirates and had this strange aura of strength. Mischievous grin, a strange scar below his eye... Who was this boy? However, she couldn't just trust him.

„Nah, I got it," she answered.

„Suit ye'self," Luffy answered, waving for Coby to continue following him as they were going to take the other canoe. „Ye'll hafta 'urry, though. Tha Marines're 'ere."

The girl nodded, getting into the canoe-class starship. Luffy and Coby moved forward and entered the second canoe. The ship, slightly bigger than a pinnace, made for up to 27 people and at least 2, dark and unused but it would have to do.

„C'mon, Cobeh!" Luffy said.

Coby looked at him questioningly. „You want me to come with you?"

„Of courshe! I'll drop ye off on tha next planet and ye'll join tha Mirines, righ'?"

Coby smiled. „Yes!"


	3. Zoro the Demon Swordsman

**Here's the third chapter. But first, there are dome question I need to answer.**

 **RachnochSurren wants to know what my first language is. It is Slovene, or Slovenian (slovenščina).**

 **Next, both RachnochSurren and SwordOfTheGods have warned me that, in English, the quotation marks are written at the top. I knew that before but never noticed that my programme was writing them down and up. That's how we write them in my language, so it never caught my eye.**

 **AllosaurusJei complained about the way 'the details are being thrown in like factoids'. Jei, if you are referring to the visual details of objects/scenes, then I apologise. But if you are talking about the details about the political, economic and scientific state of the Galaxy, then sorry, but I'm making it all up as I go. And don't call it sci-fi. It's more science fantasy. If you want sci-fi, check The Human Anarchy, where I describe my vision of the future (somewhat).**

 **And RachnochSurren, I may have enjoyed the snow (though it was weird seeing the forests around lake Bohinj green while the peaks above were white), but our v** **intners were less than happy. Almost all of their vineyards were frozen.**

* * *

Who was that girl? Luffy couldn't get that question out of his head as he sat behind the controls in the small bridge of the canoe. The shutters of the windows were open, letting him look through the stern of the ship. Space moved past him in a distorted manner as the ship sailed in its warp bubble. At 6pc/h, an enviable speed, they were speeding towards the closest populated system.

'That girl...' Luffy thought. 'She was in pain.' He could tell. He considered himself a good judge of character. He could, at first glance, assess people's personalities. He wasn't sure if it was one of the side effects of what he had seen after eating the Devil's Fruit... Mostly because he didn't like thinking about _that._

"Are you okay, Luffy?" Coby, sitting to his right behind the navigation computer that wasn't functioning, asked.

Luffy sighed. "It's nothing. I just wish we could have helped that girl back there."

"What do you mean?"

The older boy straightened his hat. "She was troubled... By something." Looking at his screen, he shook his head. "Whelp! It's not like it's any of our business."

With a figurative crack in the space before them, the ship dissolved the bubble around it, slowing down from superluminal speed. Luffy took hold of the control yoke, pressed a few buttons to turn the engines for normal travel on and flew the ship into the star system they arrived to.

The system consisted of three gas giants in the outer orbits, followed by an asteroid belt, then two solid planets and another gas giant, all orbiting a class-g star much like Sol. Our two heroes had entered the system from the clockwise-downward direction, or from the 'north' of the system, so they wouldn't need to travel through the orbits of the aforementioned stellar objects, and set course for the second planet.

"That's Planet Shells," Coby said. "Last I heard Zoro was captured in the capital."

"Zoro? Cool!"

They approached Planet Shells, a Marine-governed planet with a mildly tropical climate and a medium-sized space station for ships too large to land on a planet, which currently had no ships docked.

There were three types of Planets in the Republic. There were Feudal Planets, governed by a civilian lord with Terran Citizenship, the position mostly being hereditary, though the Government could replace a lord that 'was unfit for the position'. The lord was given full jurisdiction over the world as long as he paid the tax and supported Republic-wide projects. In the end, the type of government differred from lord to lord. Some were ruthless autocrats, some lenient constitutional lords, letting their subjects form a Planetary parliament. The Terran Government mostly didn't interfere with the internal affairs of the Feudal Planets, having realised that they couldn't manage such a large state on their own.

The secod type of Planets, numbering about one per three dozen Feudal Planets, were Military Planets. These worlds were primarily a military base, governed by a Marine officer. The focus of these Planets' economy was into military industry. They built ships on the worlds or on space stations orbiting them, created weaponry, armour, ground, water and air vehicles - anything Terra needed to 'keep the peace'.

The third type of Planets, the rarest, numbering only 12 worlds, were the Home Planets. They consisted of all the solid planets of the Solar system, as well as some of the major moons. They were under direct control of Terra, with the inhabitants mostly having full Terran Citizenship.

The canoe landed in the spaceport of the capital of the Planet. As a major planet, Shells had a large spaceport, with thousands of landing pads, both small ones with liftoff ramps much like the one Luffy lifted off of from Foosha and large ones for ships with depths side thrusters strong enough to lift off with them, all connected with the costums building with a webway of roads, stretching across a great plain almost all the way to the horizon. Most of the ships were Marine battleships, Shells being a Military Planet.

After going through costums the two youths walked through the main street of the city of 100.000. The settlement was filthy and polluted, the air being hard to breathe. In the distance, behind the large fortress that was both the local government's seat and the military base, they could see pillars of smoke, rising into the sky as if to support the dark cloud above the city from falling.

However, it seemed that the people didn't let that bother them. They walked the streets, going about their business. Some were driving land trucks - landcars used for goods transport - while others sold various products in the shops in their apartment blocks' ground floors. However, Luffy got the feeling that something wasn't right, that the people of this city lived in fear. In fear of what? He couldn't answer that.

"Let's get something to eat first," Luffy srated, leading Coby into a tavern by the road.

The two ordered a lunch. After finishing their meals in silence, Luffy stated: "I wonder if I could make Zoro part of my crew..."

The people around them jumped in fear, sending terrified looks their way.

"What was that supposed to be?" Luffy wondered out loud. "I just mentioned Zoro..." The people flinched again.

"I heard he's a demon in the skin of a man," Coby explained, rather terrified as well. "He's a ruthless swordsman who butchers pirates."

"Zoro butchers people?" Luffy said, making the people flinch again. "I already like this Zoro guy!"

"But he's a pirate hunter!" Coby objected. "And you're... you know. What makes you think he'll join you!?"

Luffy grinned. "I can be very persuasive!" He took a sip from his glass of beer. "Anyway, something's not right on this planet. The people seem quite jumpy..."

"I don't know..." Coby said. "I heard this Planet is governed by a Marine captain named Henry Morgan."

The people around them jumped again, much to our heroes surprise.

"Strange..." Coby wondered. "I can understand why they'd be scared of Zoro, but their governor?"

Luffy finished his drink, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "Lad... Let me tell you something. A governor is merely the person in charge of the planet. They're only human. Some can be born leaders, the people willingly following their wise rule. Others are leeches who got their position by licking shoes or killing all opposition. They feed on the power given from the Government, grabbing their people's hard earned bread all for themselves. And it's not like Terra would do anything about them. They even support the damn pigs! It is in their interest for the people's wrath to be centred on certain individuals relatively low in their hierarchy. The military may be 'peace keepers', but their definition of peace is 'what is in Terra's interests'. And, in truth, Terra's interests aren't based on Republic Citizens. They're based on Terran Citizens. So remember... What was your question again?"

"I was asking about the locals' fear of their governor," Coby reminded him, a little irritated.

"It wasn't about the Republic's political structure?" Luffy asked, surprised. "Anyway, Morgan might not be that good of a governor when you take the fact that the people aren't a bunch of robots into account."

The two paid in Credits - non-electronic money was illegal on Military Planets because it was harder to collect the tax from it - and left the tavern, heading towards the fortress in the centre of the city. It was a tall building of Terran design: a fortress with a 16th to 17th century AD look, antiquity-style pillars, human statues at every corner. It was made of a metal alloy of white colour and would probably shine in the noon-day sun as a beacon of governance were it not for the grey cloud of smoke covering the sky. Instead, even the white fortress was filthy, stained with grey and black soot. Around the fortress, another lower metal wall was built, closing off a large chunk of land for the soldiers to use as training or execution grounds.

Luffy and Coby reached the end of the main street, approaching the gate into the Marine courtyard. It was a steel gate, surrounded by two currently vacated watch towers. Upon the gate, the symbol of the Marines, a red stickman figure in the pose of Leonardo da Vinci's Vitruvian Man on a white astrological symbol for Earth - the coat of arms of the Republic - with two lasrifles crossed behind it. In latin writing, letters stylised to be sharp and bold in order to radiate greatness and power, the word 'Marine' was written below.

"This is it, Coby!" Luffy stated. "This is where we part ways."

Coby looked at the gate. The feeling of greatness he had expected when dreaming of knocking on the Marine's door wasn't what he felt looking at it. Instead, he felt the corruption, greed and malice of powerful people. Luffy's words about the Government resounded in his head. 'If I'm to make a difference in this galaxy,' he thought, 'I'll have to climb the ranks as a Marine.' He was brought from his pondering when he noticed Luffy approaching the gate.

"Wh-... What are you doing?" the younger lad asked the older one.

Luffy looked at him questioningly. "I'm going in," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "This base is holding Zoro Roronoa prisoner. I have to get him out and make him my comrade."

Cuby was shocked, even after deciding that he should expect anything from the raven-haired youth. "We can't just barge in! This is a military complex!"

"So?" Luffy asked.

"There are no guards to let us in!"

"Exactly."

Coby facepalmed. "Do you seriously think they'd leave the gate unlocked?"

"They did."

"Wha-..." Coby was surprised to see Luffy was right. He had opened the gate and was already entering the empty courtyard. Deciding that he should follow, he went after him.

The courtyard was large, the concrete floor having several white lines drawn upon it, likely used in training exercises for marching and fighting in formation.

To Coby's left, Luffy started climbing a wall separating them from another part of the courtyard.

"What are you doing?!" Coby tried not to yell.

"Looking for Zoro, what else!" Luffy intentionally yelled back.

"They wouldn't have Zoro outside! They probably have him somewhere in the fort's dungeon!"

Luffy reached the top of the wall and looked to the other side. "Wrong again, lad, they have him right here!"

Luffy gave Coby a hand to climb up as well. The pink-haired boy saw that Luffy was right. In the middle of the courtyard section before them, enclosed by tall walls, a youth, probably only a year older than Luffy, his half-open white shirt revealing a muscular chest. He had a green piece of cloth tied over his stomach and wore dark green pants that were made even darker by the sweat dripping from him, an effect of the planet's hot climate. He wore a black bandana over his short green hair.

He was chained, arms, legs and neck, to a black torture pole, a simple construct often used by the Marines. The idea was to chain a prisoner to it within a harsh environment, from areas with freezing winds to windless yards that got scorched by the planet's sun all day.

"Well, I'm going in there," Luffy stated.

"Stop!" Coby exclaimed, grabbing him by the shoulder. "You can't just go there! One: he's a ruthless criminal who got arrested by the military. He'd likely kill you just for being a pirate. Two: this is a restricted area. The Marines would shoot you."

Luffy stared at him for a few moments. "Okay, since we're playing this game... One: if he decides to kill me after freeing him, that's his problem. I'm not paying for his funeral. Besides, if he's a pirate hunter, why'd he get arrested? Two: fuck the Marines!" He remembered Coby wanted to be a Marine. "No offence..."

Movement on the other side of the torture yard got their attention. A small brown-haired girl with pigtails was climbing over the outer wall carrying something wrapped in aluminium foil. She ran towards the chained Zoro.

"Hello, mister Zoro!" the little girl greeted kindly. She unwrapped the bundle in her hands and offered the rice balls inside to the prisoner. "I thought you might be hungry so I brought you some food! I made them myself!"

Zoro turned towards her, the three earrings in his left ear swinging a little. His tanned hispanic face broke into an intimidating glare.

"Get lost, _perra_!" he spoke darkly with a Hispanic accent.

The smile on the girl's face faded. "But... Aren't you hungry?"

"Are you deaf, dumb or both!? _Vete_ _a_ _tomar por culo_!"

"Now, now! What's this?" a posh voice butted in. Approaching them from the inner part of the courtyard was a nordic young man, probably younger than Luffy, with blonde hair styled into a sideways oval shape, a small cleft in his chin. He was wearing a - disgusting - purple suit and purple pants. He was flanked by two Marine soldiers in uniform - blue coat over a white shirt and a blue tricorn hat and grey pants. Both of them had lasrifles on slings over their shoulders.

"Oh look! The _bastardo_ of the captain, Helmeppo, comes for a visit!" Zoro taunted.

"Watch your tongue, Roronoa!" Helmeppo said angrily. "You wouldn't want your sentence prolonged now that you're just a week away from freedom." He then turned to the girl. "Ooh! Rice balls!"

He took one of the rice balls and took a bite. Disgusted, he spat it out and threw the rest on the floor. He then took the second one and threw it on the floor as well.

"Ignorant child!" he exclaimed poetically. "You're not supposed to sweeten _onigiri_ with sugar! You use salt!" He proceeded to stomp on them repeatedly.

"But... I thought they'd be better if I made them sweet!" the girl defended, on the verge of tears.

Helmeppo stopped stomping on the rice balls. "Wow! I might have forgiven you, believing that you've accidentally mistaken sugar for salt! But now..." He turned to one of the soldiers. "Throw this child away!"

"B-but sir! She's just a little girl!" the soldier responded.

"She's trespassing!" Helmeppo said pointing at a notice board at the torture yard's entrance. "'All civilian personnel found inside this area of the courtyard without the explicit permission of the captain are to be executed. Signed: captain Henry Morgan'" He paused. "That's my father, in case you didn't know. So, if you don't want my father to dance upon your balls like I did on those lying there, you'd better throw the child away."

"Y-yes sir!" the Marine responded. He walked over to the girl and picked her up. "Curl up into a ball. It shoud ease the impact," he whispered to her before throwing it over the wall, off the premises of the fortress.

"Come on, underlings!" Helmeppo ordered. "Let us strot away!" With that, he and the two soldiers left.

What he didn't notice was a teen in a red frock coat jumping from his spot on the wall towards the flying girl - 10 metres - and catching her mid-air. They both landed outside the military complex, on the back road going around it.

"You cool, lass?" he asked her.

"My back hurts..."

"Can you move your legs?"

"... Yes."

"Then it's nothing serious!"

As they both got up they were joined by Coby.

"You've caught her!" he exclaimed.

"No! Did you figure that out by yourself?!" was Luffy's response. He looked at the wall surrounding the Marine complex. "That Zoro guy is awesome! You two stay here, I'm going in to get myself a crewmate!"

Zoro was slowly drifting off into unconscousness. He was hungry, thirsty and, worst of all, his balls itched and he couldn't stratch himself. The endurance test had worn him out but he would push on.

"Want a drink?"

Zoro looked up, noticing a raven-haired youth wearin ga straw hat standing before him. He was offering him a silver flask with a skull carving.

"And who might you be?"

"Me?" the man before him asked, pointing at himself. "Perhaps you've heard of me. I'm captain Monkey D. Luffy."

Zoro thought for a moment. "Were you perhaps the previous captain of Football Club Barcedrid?"

Luffy shook his head. "No, that's Monoco Deeh Looppee."

"Then _no,_ " the green-haired youth answered.

Luffy looked at him, confused that he wasn't known. Then realisation hit him. "Right! I haven't even done anything illegal yet... Except for sailing without a licence. And some other things... Damn, I knew I shouldn't have covered all of that up!"

"So... You're a criminal, huh?" Zoro asked.

The straw hatted teen grinned. "Not just any criminal! The future Pirate King!"

The pirate hunter chuckled. "You are a strange one... But what do you want me for?"

Luffy got serious. Very serious. He started talking, punctuating his sentences with dramatic gestures. "Zoro Roronoa... Do you want to stay like this, living like a serf, nay, a dog chasing enemies of the Terran Government? All you would ever get from them is some money and a pat on the back. And look at what they've done to you, after just one wrong move! They don't care what happens in the outer colonies. They only care that the goods keep on flowing into Sol system, while dangers stay far away!

I, however, offer you an alternative. A life of freedom! A life in which you can achieve your goals! I offer you a place in my crew. A place in my free, Democratic Republic of... still need to decide on the name."

" _No,_ _gracias_!" the prisoner answered as soon as Luffy finished.

"That's great! I'll get the citizenship contrac-... Come again?"

"Sorry, but no."

Luffy stared at him questioningly. "I could get you out of these chains though..."

"That's not the problem, straw hat!" he answered. "I have a deal with the governor's bastard: he'll let me go if I survive a month without food. I'm only a week from release, so... No."

Luffy nodded. "Very well. Your funeral, I guess..."

He turned to leave, but was stopped by Zoro: "Wait!"

Luffy turned around again.

"Those rice balls on the floor..." Zoro said "Give them to me."

The free youth picked up the rice balls. They had lost all shape and were filthy, a few black particles covering them.

"Come on! Feed me!" Zoro demanded again.

Luffy threw the two rice balls into the prisoner's mouth. Zoro chewed with diffuculty, looking as though he was about to throw up. His eyes watered as he swallowed.

"Tell the girl... they were delicious."

* * *

"And then he said that they were delicious!" Luffy exclaimed

The girl, who had introduced herself as Rika, had invited him and Coby to stay at her mother's tavern. Luffy had just finished relaying Zoro's response to the other two.

"Wow! Really?" Rika asked.

"Really," Luffy answered, taking a swig from his glass of beer. "So, how come Zoro, a pirate hunter, got imprisoned?"

"I already told you, Luffy!" Coby said. "He's a ruthless killer, so the Marines arrested him.

The girl shook her head. "No! Mister Zoro is a nice guy!"

"Then why is he in chains?" Coby asked.

"It all started a little more than three weeks ago," Rika explained. "Zoro was staying at our tavern and was having lunch. Then Helmeppo showed up. He brought a wolf into the tavern. It started attacking the guests, eating food from their plates. I tried to scare it away with a broom, but it only got angry. But before it could attack me, Zoro swang at it with one of his swords. That got Helmeppo angry. He threatened he would have everyone in the neighbourhood executed unless Zoro gave himself up. So, Zoro surrendered."

"Helmeppo?" Luffy wondered. "Right, he's captain Morgan's bastard son."

Rika nodded. "Morgan became governor a few years ago. I don't remember much about the time before, but mom says he immediately raised taxes, forced many people into working in the weapon factories and enslaved the homeless."

The Terran Government had, in its early decades, passed a law that allows colonial governors to implement their own laws, as long as they don't conflict with the Republic's legislation. One of the most common examples is the legalisation of slavery - or 'unpaid community service', as it is legally called. Those who cannot pay tax, housing and other basic necessities, can be 'employed' by the governor or any Terran Citizen in exchange for food, shelter and basic healthcare, instead of regular pay. However, it differs from Planet to Planet how unpaid workers are treated. Some Planets have their entire population enslaved, but the people live with all their needs satisfied by a benevolent slave master, while others treat the unpaid workers like labour robots, supplying only their basic needs.

"Oh... So he's one of those governors," Luffy commented.

They could hear commotion from out the window. Looking out, they noticed Helmeppo marching through the street, flanked by two Marines. The civilians were bowing before him on threat of execution. The blonde in the purple suit entered the tavern and sat behind one of the tables, putting his filthy shoes on it.

"Hah!" he said out loud. "That Roronoa is so stupid! But he does have endurance. I just might have to let him go!"

"Yes sir. You might have to let him go," one of the soldiers guarding him said, sighing. 'I should have listened to my mum and become a merchant.'

"Wrong!" Helmeppo said. "That would be a disgrace to me, trooper. I'm having you prepare the execution stand for tomorrow. We're hanging him."

The soldier sighed again. "Very well, sir." 'He's a civilian! Why am I taking orders from a civilian!?'

Luffy, hearing his declaration, stood up and slowly walked ovef to him. Helmeppo noticed the raven-haired boy standing next to him, glaring at him menacingly.

"Huh? What do you want, peasant?" Helmeppo asked.

Luffy didn't answer. He, out of nowhere, leaving the two soldiers not time to react, punched the pompous man in the face, making him fly into a wall. The two Marines didn't attack. They went to pick up Helmeppo, who was now massaging his cheek.

"You are in a lot of trouble!" the blonde threatened. "I'm telling my dad!"

"Oh, good idea!" Luffy yelled back. "Call him down here! He deserves a punch in the face too!"

The two soldiers carried the crying Helmeppo out of the tavern. Coby looked at the angry Luffy, who was clenching his fists.

"Coby! I have a plan," Luffy declared. "Tonight, we're breaking Zoro out of his chains."

Coby shook his head, putting both his palms over his face. 'This'll end bad. I just know it.'

* * *

A blonde haired giant of a man was sitting behind a desk, turned around to look through the window. He was stroking his chin with his left hand. His right arm rested on the desk. It was a synthetic prosthetic with a detachable forearm made of dark metal to compliment his tanned skin.

"I am quite great," he stated.

"Yes, sir, you are," the lieutenant who was in the office with him agreed. 'Why did I have to get stationed under this guy...'

The door opened and Helmeppo ran in, still holding his cheek.

"Dad! Some guy just hit me!" he screamed.

The giant sighed. "I told you not to wear that faggy purple suit, son..."


	4. Operation: Demon Rescue

Like a shadow. He moved unseen through the city. The roads were empty, as were the back alleys. Anyone found outside after curfew was to be shot by the patroling Marines. No street lights were lit, only the light coming from the windows of those not asleep yet lit the streets.

Moving like a shadow in the night, Coby followed Luffy as they evaded patrols, making their way towards the fortress. There were very few patrols in the district they were travelling through. It didn't have any important structure or strategic points. It was just a bunch of apartment blocks.

Upon reaching the wall closing ofv the fortress' courtyard, the two looked around to see whether anyone was watching. The closest watchtower was about a hundred metres away, its searchlight turned towards the main gate. Seeing that the coast was clear, Luffy helped Coby climb up the wall before following.

Luffy motioned for Coby to stay close to the wall while he ran towards the chained prisoner. Checking to see if anyone was watching, he turned his attention to Zoro. The youth was sleeping.

"Oy... Zoro," Luffy whispered.

"Hrk! Wha-..." the green-haired man almost exclaimed but was stopped by Luffy's hand muffling his mouth.

Luffy put a finger ower his lips, indicating that he should be quiet. „I'm breaking you out," he stated.

"Breaking me out? I've already told you, I only have another week-..."

"Nah, that bastard isn't exactly a man of his word," Luffy cut him off. „You're hanging tomorrow."

"What!? That bastard..." Zoro said in surprise.

"My offer still stands, swordsman," the youth with the straw hat said. "I can get you out of these chains... if you promise to join me."

Zoro glared at him. "That's blackmail!"

Luffy shrugged his shoulders, grinning widely. "Supply and demand! That's how trade works."

Zoro shook his head. "Very well. But I'm not leaving without my swords. Helmeppo has them in his room, along with the keys."

"Mission objective noted," the young pirate captain acknowledged, waving for Coby to follow him.

The two made their way to the fortress. The first window was high above, about fifteen metres of smooth metal wall separating them from it. However, it was open.

"I can't jump that high," Luffy stated.

"Couldn't you just stretch your arm to reach it?" Coby asked.

The raven-haired teen shook his head. "It doesn't work that way. I have no muscles for stretching my limbs. I can only stretch them with outside forces like this." He demonstrated by pulling on his cheek, stretching it a metre away from his face. "What I need is something to slingshot myself from."

Suddenly, his face brightened in mischief. He grinned creepily, gazing at the torture pole. He ran towards it, Coby following close by.

Luffy grabbed hold of the top of the two-and-a-half metre tall pole. Zoro gave him a questioning look as he started walking towards the outer wall, his arms stretching like rubber. Each step got harder and harder as Luffy pushed on, the force pulling his arms together getting stronger.

Once he got all the way to the outer wall, he said as lowly as possible: „Hold on to me, Coby!"

Coby took hold of his hips. With a low hum of the mechanism in his boots, Luffy got detached from the ground, both of them being launched over the torture pole. Coby held his eyes shut, expecting the worst as they flew through the air. His fears were, luckily, allayed as the two landed inside the room behind the open window.

It was a dark bedroom. It had a desk close to the window, a closet, a mirror with a small stand by it and a large bed. A bed that wasn't empty. And the noise had stirred its occupant awake.

"Henry, great one! Is that you?!" a feminine voice asked. They couldn't see the woman in the bed, but Luffy deduced she was in her twenties, asian or at least half-asian and small-figured if her voice was something to go by.

"... Yes!" Luffy said in a voice as deep as his slim teenage body could allow. „I have come, you dirty bitch!"

"Mhm... I like it when you call me dirty names..." the woman responded.

"Keep your eyes closed!" Luffy ordered, approaching the bed with stomps that were just quiet enough not to be heard from the outside.

"Mhh... Is captain going to punish me for being a bad girl?" she asked suggestively.

"Oh, your punishment shall be worse than death, filthy whore," Luffy whispered into her ear, before pressing his fingers to a certain point on her neck. The woman lost consciousness.

Luffy sighed in relief. "If this Pirate King thing doesn't work out, at least I know I could become an actor," he muttered to himself.

Luffy then turned to Coby who was staring at him in disbelief. "Wh-what was that?" he asked.

The raven-haired teen grinned. "That, Coby, was illegal. Probably even considered sexist by some individuals. But me, I call it my alpha-maleness," he leand over to him, whispering. "Chicks dig the alpha captain Luffy. I have sailed my ship into many-a port."

Coby stared. "You've never done _it,_ did you," he stated.

"Well, you're the one to talk, mister preteen!" Luffy defended. "Anyway... What were we doing here again?"

"We're looking for Zoro's swords and the keys to the chains."

The two moved out of the prostitute's bedroom into a long, well-lit corridor. It was decorated with 5th century paintings of the Second First Contact War. They even had the original of Adam Arder's Battle of Paleworld. The soldiers of the early Republic, only two decades old at the time, painted brightly at the top centre of the painting faced the darkly painted hordes of the reptillian ghorsh'arks or, as they were called by humans, the serpinians. Those that have paid attention in their history class would, of course, realise that, at the end of the war, 'the Galaxy was cleansed of the threat that were the serpinians'. At the time of this story, only about a hundred remained, all living as workers on the other side of the Galaxy, far from Terran space and their home.

The two, realising they didn't know where Helmeppo's room was, started searching the fortress, opening every door on their floor. When they ran out of rooms to check, they climbed the stairs to the upper floor.

The corridors and rooms were a strong contrast to the city outside. They were clean, decorated with expensive paintings and rugs, well lit and, most of all, didn't smell. While they likely couldn't compare to estates of some higher-class Terran Citizens, the fortress was obviously home to a captain whith a big appreciation of art glorifying war and an even bigger Credit chit.

Rounding a corner, the two youths ran into four Marine soldiers. Lowest rank, by the look of it. They were sitting around a table, playing tarock. They didn't seem to notice them. Either that, or they didn't care.

Luffy, seeing that checking every room wouldn't get them anywhere, got another one of his brilliant ideas. He aporoached the four soldiers, leaning over the shoulder of one of them to see his cards. The poor Marine seemed to be a rookie, not exactly familiar with the game.

"Play two, call spades," he said.

The soldier looked at him questioningly. "What?"

"Play two and call spades. Trust me on this one," he explained, sighing inwardly. It seemed that these four didn't really care. "Anyway, where could I find Helmeppo's room?"

"Helmeppo?" one of the soldiers asked. "A floor above us. You climb those stairs there, go left, 'round the corner, fourth door on the left. It's next to the armoury."

Luffy nodded. "Thanks!"

"Glad to help, civilian! But remember, you were never here."

Coby decided not to question Luffy about this as he followed him up the stairs. They followed the Marine's instructions, passing a big metal door labled as the 'ARMOURY' and reached a wooden door. It had a sign on it. 'My room'.

"Hah! No. This isn't 'my' room!" Luffy joked, only for no one to laugh. "Shut up!"

The two entered dark room. Switching the lights on, they noticed that the room was vacant, the unmade bed being empty. By a desk next to the bed, upon which a computer rested, three _katana_ swords were leaned onto the wall. On the desk a key was lying by the keyboard.

"Now... Which two swords are his?" Coby wondered.

Luffy thought for a moment. "Fuck it! We'll take all of them."

Grabbing all the swords and the key, the two ran out of the room. Luffy strapped the three swords to Coby's back and gave him the key.

"Go and free Zoro!" he ordered. "I'm creating a diversion," he added, eyeing the armoury.

Coby didn't look pleased. "Couldn't we just grab Zoro and sneak out?"

"We could," Luffy answered. "But where'd be the fun in that?"

Watching Coby reluctantly run away for a few moments, Luffy slowly turned his attention to the armoury door. It looked heavy and was locked with both an electronic lock and a code. He took off his left boot and picked it up. Trying not to smell the... specific aroma radiating out of it he reached inside, pulling out a device that looked like an USB with a 3x4 numberpad. He put it into the lock, connecting to the system. The small screen on his 'key' turned on, some symbols going over the screen. He scanned the figurative structure of the electronic lock, then put some numbers into his 'key' to send the correct impuls eito it and... 'Done! Hah, you save me yet again, lock pick!'

He then turned to the numberpad by the door. This one didn't have an input port. It didn't even have a screen. All it had was the 10 numerals. And it was built into the wall, so he wouldn't be able to take it apart. That's where his boots really came in handy.

You see, Luffy had, with the help of an unsuspecting Fooshan engineer, built a complex mechanism into his boots, based on the designs the Devil's Fruit had implanted into his brain. Primarily, consisting of magnets, plungers, spikes and gravity manipulators, they were used to hold him onto the ground when performing moves like the Gum Gum Rocket. However, the magnets could be used for another thing: manipulating electronic devices like the code lock.

Controling the magnets through the neural input device he had bribed a brain surgeon to put into his brain only a few months earlier, the youth managed to break through the lock and force it to open the door without the code input. He then entered the armoury.

The armoury, Luffy decided, was heaven. Sure, you had the standard issue lasrifles and laspistols, sabres and knives, but the shelves were also stacked with smoke, flashbang and plasma grenades, there were plasma rifles lying around - not as fast as the laser but very lethal indeed - greatswords, mirror shields and grenade launchers. But something really got his attention.

"Holy shit and sweet Colony Ship Oort! A handheld lascannon!"

Not to be confused with the mounted lascannon found on ships or used as artilery, the handheld lascannon, though not as strong as its artilery equivalent, could pack quite a punch, firing a heavily concentrated beam of light that could melt power armour easily. It resembled a long metal cuboid with a handle on one side and wires coming out at the end, connecting to a large battery.

Meanwhile, Coby was running through corridors, dodging guards and searching for the exit. Using the fire escape plan he managed to find his way through the fortress, but just before the main exit his path was blocked.

Four men were at the exit. A tanned arabic soldier armed with a rifle, a turkic lieutenant and Helmeppo, However, it was the fourth one that really got his attention.

It was a giant tanned blonde with a prosthetic right arm and lower jaw, both made of dark metal and left visible to intimidate anyone in his way. He was wearing a captain's uniform, his blue coat decorated with epaulettes and various decorative golden buttons.

Helmeppo seemed to be complaining to his father.

"Dad! Why aren't you chasing the guy that hit me?!" he whined.

Henry sighed. "Because that guy did me a favour."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Helmeppo asked.

The captain looked at him menacingly. "Son... Do you know why I've never hit you?"

"W-well, that's because I'm your son."

"Wrong!" Morgan yelled. "It is because you are such a weak rat, you aren't even worth hitting." He spproached him slowly. "All you do, each day, is whine to me, your great father. I have put up with you for fifteen years, ever since your mother died. Now I realise I should have killed that whore while you were still inside of her." He straightened up. "I heard you caught a little girl on the torture yard this afternoon."

Helmeppo, breaking out of his stupor started by his father's words, answered: "Yes, I took care of her."

"By taking care of you mean kill, I hope."

"Wha- Dad, no! It was just a little girl!" Helmeppo defended.

The captain turned to the lieutenant. "Find that girl and execute her on the spot."

"B-but sir! She's a child!" the lieutenant objected.

"The law applies to everyone, lieutenant! Execute her! I order you as a superior officer!"

Suddenly, an explosion was heard, coming from the upper floors, followed by the humming of lasrifles. Soon after, an alarm was sounded.

"Intruder alert!" an electronic voice said and kept on repeating.

"So much for our guards," Morgan commented. "We're executing every third soldier who was on guard duty tonight," he declared, then turned to the lieutenant. "Get me my axe hand!"

They all ran past Coby, none of them noticing him. The pink-haired kid, not wanting to be caught in whatever Luffy was doing, ran out of the building and made his way towards the torture yard. He swiftly approached the chained swordsman and started unlocking him.

"Huh? That was quick!" Zoro commented.

"Just hold on!" Coby said. "Luffy's in there and he's doing something crazy!"

" _Si,_ that guy does look a little insane!" Zoro agreed. "Pirate King, huh?"

"Yes. He's quite serious about tha-..." Coby started but was cut off when, with a hum from a lasrifle, a laser hit him, the red beam being higly visible due to the concentration of particles in the air. It was coming from the main gate.

Coby held onto his left shoulder. "Argh! I'm... shot!" He fell over in pain.

Zoro looked towards the fortress. Approaching them was captain Morgan, flanked by a hundred of his men, all walking in formation. Morgan's right forearm was gone, replaced with a dark double-bitted axe.

"Aha! So this is how it is!" he exclaimed. "One of you creates commotion in the base while the other releases the prisoner. Sneaky... Sneaky indeed." He raised his axe hand. "Men! Take aim!"

The soldiers did as commanded. Coby closed his eyes. Zoro could see his life flashing before his eyes. However, before captain Morgan could give the order to fire, a noise coming from the top of the fortress interrupted him.

He knew that sound well. That was the humming of the handheld lascannon, loud and high. He looked up to the eastern tower. Just this afternoon he had had his men raise a fifteen metre metal statue of him there to face the city. Upon it, he could see a young man, a teenager, firing the lascannon, a bright beam of light burning through the sky.

Luffy was having fun. After blowing up the mess hall with a plasma grenade, he had run through the corridors of the fortress, carrying the heavy lascannon on his back, firing the two laspistols he had stolen at anything that moved. The soldiers tried to stop him, but he was too fast, even with the heavy weapon on his back. Upon reaching the roof, he attached the two now empty laspistols to his belz, deciding to keep the high quality military grade weaponry, and took the lascannon into his hands. A sentry tried to stop him, but he turned the laser on, burning the poor soul with the hot bright beam.

Now, however, he was looking down at the execution ground. It seemed that Coby and Zoro were in a pickle. He would need to jump down there, but in order to reach that far, he'd need to slingshot himself. The statue would most certainly do. It was just a little too high. So, doing the only logical thing, he fired the laser at the top of the statue, melting it almost instantly. He the put the cannon back onto his back, grabbed onto the now quite hot metal leg that remained of the ststue and rocketed himself into the air, landing between his two comrades and the baffled Marines.

"Hahah! Never fear, captain Luffy is here!"

"You little rat! That was my statue, a testament to my greatness!"

Luffy looked at the man that had screamed at him. He had an axe for a hand and a metal jaw... 'Looks familiar...' "You remind me of someone," the straw hat wearing teen said. "Not sure whom..."

The man glared at him. "You've dug your own grave, kid. I am 'Axe Hand' Morgan, captain of Shells and the man who'll have your head. Men! Fire!"

The soldiers fired their lasrifles at the group of three, the laser traveling at light speed towards them. However, Luffy was ready. Before they fired he pulled something from his back and held it in front of himself. A mirror shield. The beams were deflected back into the Marines, injuring a few.

"Heh!" Luffy chuckled. "Okay... We may be outnumbered, but don't worry! I have a plan!"

'Why am I suddenly more worried?' Coby thought.

"Zoro! We got your swords, though we weren't sure which two are yours," Luffy continued.

"I use all three," Zoro stated.

"... Wow! Did not see that coming. Damn, why doesn't Republic Common Language have dual?... Anyway... Coby! Release Zoro!"

"On it!"

Coby finished unlocking Zoro while Luffy had his lascannon aimed at the Marines, daring them to attack. Zoro armed himsel fwith his three swords, holding two of them in his hands and the third with his mouth.

"Wow... Your jaw must be quite tough if you can fight with that," Luffy commented.

"Genetic augmentations," Zoro simply stated.

"Whatever..." Luffy turned his attention to the Marines, specifically their captain.

"So... What'll you do now, weakling?!" Morgan taunted, noticing a blinking red light on Luffy's weapon.

"I've always wanted to say this," the straw hat wearing teen said, taking a deep breath. "Say hey to my little mate!" he shouted, squeezing the trigger of the lascannon.

However, the weapon didn't fire. Instead, a kind, emotionless synthesized voice coming from it said: "Low battery. Shutting down." The cannon turned off, the humming of its cooling system stopping.

"Hahahahaha!" Morgan laughed. "Next time, check the batteries. I was using the cannon just this morning and I almost depleted them. Seems that I forgot to put them on the charger.

Luffy looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it. Instead, he thre wthe canno nand the battery pack away, raising his fists. "Okay then... We'll do it the old fashioned way."

With those words he charged at the armed Marines, followed by Zoro. Bashing and slahing, aiming to disarm but not kill, the two mowed through the surprised soldiers.

"Zoro! Keep the soldiers busy!" Luffy shouted. "I'm taking out their leader."

"C _omprendido_!"

Coby watched as the two faced the Marines. It would be an understatement to say that he was impressed by their skill and courage. They fought trained soldiers and made them look like simple brawlers. He was brouken out of his thoughts, though, when he felt a laspistol at his temple. Turning slightly, he noticed that it was Helmeppo, who was shaking slightly as he aimed his pistol at him.

"One move, pinky, and you're dead!" Helmeppo threatened shakily.

"Go ahead, shoot!" Coby dared. "I'm not afraid to die!"

"D-don't tempt me, kid! I will shoot you!"

"Will you now?! Or will you go crying to your father!" Coby taunted.

"Why you little-..." Coby managed to knock the pistol out of his shaking hand. He then proceeded to swing at him, Helmeppo defending himself the best he could.

"A leech! That's what you are!" the pink haired boy continued as he attacked. "Feeding on the power of your father, living in his shadow!"

Helmeppo managed to deflect one of his attacks, proceeding to counter attack, throwing unskillful punches at the younger lad. "Shut up!" he yelled, knowing that what Coby was saying was true.

Sustaining a punch to the jaw, Coby tackled the blonde to the ground. "You aren't even your own person!" He punched his chest. "You don't have any goals in life!" He punched his jaw.

Helmeppo managed to throw the smaller boy off him. He then proceeded to tackle him, returnin gthe punches he was given. "And so?!" he screamed. "I need no dreams! I am great already!"

The words of his father resounded in his head. 'Such a weak rat!... Should have killed that whore while you were still inside of her!' He retracted his hands from the barely conscious Coby. 'I _am_ a weakling,' he thought to himself. 'A parasite.'

With his last remaining strength, Coby punched Helmeppo straight in the face, knocking him out, before he, too, lost consciousness.

While Coby and Helmeppo were having their fight, Zoro and Luffy were fighting the Marines, dodging Henry's axe as it slashed at them.

"Listen, Luffy!" Zoro yelled over the commotion, disarming a Marine. "I know your dream! Well, this is mine: to become the greatest seordsman in the Galaxy!"

"Heh! Nice ambition!" Luffy yelled back, punching a Marine straight in the face. "I wouldn't expect nothing less from my crewmember!"

" _Qué_!? I can't hear you!"

Luffy couldn't answer as he concentrated his attacks on Henry Morgan. The pompous captain wasn't a pushover, he admitted. He was tough, shrugging off most of his strikes as if they were nothing and deflecting the rest with his axe hand.

"Aha!" Luffy exclaimed. "I know!"

"Know what?" Morgan asked.

"You look like Steeljaw! You know, the villain from 'James Bond 007: Operation Terrarium'!"

Luffy smiled, remembering the 346th film in the Bond franchise. The 350th film would be released soon.

He was broken out of his thoughts when Henry slashed at him horisontally, making him duck. He countered with a punch to the chest, but his opponent just shrugged it off. He'd need to attack his weak point: the connection between his prosthetic jaw and his skull.

"Ha! A little rat like you thinks he can defeat me?! Me?!" Morgan taunted. "The stupid Terran Government couldn't stop me! I am the most powerful man on this Planet, both physically and politically!"

He swang at Luffy, hoping to finish him off. However, Luffy dodged, the axe getting stuck in the ground.

"How about... medically?" Luffy asked as he charged at the now wide open captain, delivering a powerful punch to his face. Morgan was knocked back, the force of the punch detaching him from the axe hand. He fell to the ground, unconscious.

The Marines stared at their fallen commander for a few moments, giving Zoro some breathing space. To the surprise of the green-haired teen they threw their guns and swords away, cheering.

" _Q-qué_?"

"Looks like even they weren't exactly content with his governance," Luffy commented.

The lieutenant approached them. "This is a great moment. We all witnessed his crime of hatespeech, so now we have a right to investigate his files. I'm sure we'll find enough evidence that he went against the Government to have him demoted and imprisoned."

In the Republic, hatespeech was a crime. Speaking against certain groups was considered 'hateful' and a verbal attack. Among those groups was, of course, the Government. Speaking against it was considered hatespeech and was a crime heinous enough to question the loyalty of even the highest military officers.

"Hah! That's grea-..." Zoro tried to say, but fainted from fatigue.

* * *

"Ah! Now I'm full!" Zoro exclaimed.

They were, all three, back at the tavern owned by Rika's parents, eating breakfast. Zoro had just finished his first square meal in weeks, having fainted from hunger a few hours earlier.

"Glad to see you're back to the world of the living!" Luffy exclaimed, raising his glass of beer. "Cheers!"

" _Salud_!" Zoro exclaimed as well, raising his glass. They emptied them in large gulps, slamming them onto the table when they were done.

Coby decided against commenting on drinking first thing in the morning and quietly finished his juice.

"Anyway..." Luffy continued. "Now you're about to officially become my comrade." He stood up and walked over to a computer that was on the counter, taking a USB out of his pocket. "Can I use your printer?"

"Sure," Rika's mother said, giving Coby another glass of juice.

Luffy returned to Zoro with two copies of a contract. Well... contract. It was partly also the list of rules to follow as Luffy's crewmate.

''''Democratic Republic of the Straw Hat

By signing your name below you agree to the following rules:

-The captain is the person who decides where the crew goes and who we loot. He is the executive head of the crew.

-All crewmembers are to attend the daily council to debate our laws, punishments and our next move regarding our external policies.

-All crewmembers get an equal share of the loot, meaning that all the crewmembers that have helped getting a certain piece of plunder, get their percentage of that.

-The shares are writren down in our financial logbook, visible to anyone but only written into when at least 75% of the crew are present. The loot is to be stored in a common storage room.

-If a crewmember decides to leave the crew, their share, as recorded in the financial logbook, is paid to them in full.

-If a crewmember dies, their loot is to be sent to whomever the deceased had designated as their 'next of kin'. If there is no such person, their share is to be shared among the rest of the crew.

-If the crew in general, with no particular culprit, due to accidents or damage sustained in battle, lose a part of the loot, the percentages of the previous share of each crew member are applied to the remaining loot.

-If a crewmember commits a crime, they are to be punished as follows, or, upon request of at least 60% of the crew, given a more lenient or more cruel punishment, whatever the council decides:

Murder - punishment: airlock or any other form of execution, their share of the loot is to be shared among thevrest of the crew

Theft - punishment: two weeks of imprisonment, returning stolen goods, 10% of their share of the loot is to be shared among the rest of the crew

Embezzlement of the stolen loot - punishment: three weeks of imprisonment, returning the embezzled loot, 7,5% of their share is to be shared among the rest of the crew

Treason (betraying any crucial information about the crew to our enemies) - punishment: exile, their loot is to be shared among the rest of the crew

Captain: _Monkey D. Luffy_

Crewmember: _Zoro R._ ''''

Zoro signed both of the papers and stored his into his pocket while Luffy stored his. After the two shook hands, Luffy walked over to Coby.

"Well, lad! Seems this is where we part ways," he said with a smile.

Coby looked down. "I guess... You are a good pirate, Luffy," he said. "I... It's a shame we'll be enemies."

Luffy gave him a thumbs up. "Don't worry! Just train hard!" He offered him his hand. "Let the day we meet on the field of battle be glorious!"

Coby, smiling, took the offered hand and shook it.

Just then, the Marine lieutenant from earlier in the morining entered the tavern.

"Morning!" he greeted. "Now, since you're pirates, we'd be supposed to either arrest or kill you on the spot. But since you've, ah... helped us take down captain Morgan, we've decided to let you leave."

Luffy nodded, waving for Zoro to follow him. The two started to leave the tavern, but were stopped by the soldier.

"The boy... isn't with you?" he asked them, pointing at Coby.

Luffy grinned. "That kid has had a traumatic experience with pirates. I'd be worried about his sanity if he wanted to become one. No, he wants to be a Marine."

The lieutenant nodded. "Okay... Now go!"

The soldiers gave them a ride to the spaceport, all the way to the canoe Luffy had stolen from Alvida. The Marines saw them off, saluting as the ramp tilted 90°, putting the canoe into a vertical position. The starship lifted off, flying through the brightening cloud of smoke. The rays of the sun seemed to pierce through the smoke cloud, parting the clouds slightly at the horizon.

"Men!" the lieutenant said. "We've just saluted two rebels! As punishment, we are to go without food for three days!"

"Yes, sir!"

Coby watched as the canoe left his sight. The straw hat wearing teen's adventure was just starting. As was his.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his right shoulder. He turned to see that it was Helmeppo, wearing blue pants and a white T-shirt. He was smiling sadly at him.

"I... ah... Sorry I called you 'pinky'!" he said, offering him his hand.

Coby took it. "Sorry for calling you 'parasite'!"

On that day, on Planet Shells, two strong friendships were started.


	5. Nami the Cat Burglar

The Public Safety Agency was a government organisation of the Terran Republic that kept track of both individuals and groups within the Republic and outside its borders. It was founded in 65 TC, unifying all the intelligence agencies that had existed up to that point, as a reply to first greater instances of insurgency in the frontier sectors like the Blue behind the Scutum-Centaurus Galactic arm and the Black behind the Perseus Galactic arm. The PSA employs only the most loyal Terran Citizens - mostly from the lower classes of Terran society, sometimes even raising orphans in isolated facilities - and stations them amongst the population or outside the borders to seek out 'potential threats to the civilised human society'. They were sometimes called the Cypher Police by the people.

In the hedquarters of the Blue Sector branch of the PSA on Mariejois, the capital Planet of the sector (coordinates -3° 45' 22'', -2.54pc, 3879.23pc), two men were sitting in a dark office, the only light being the desk lamp aimed at the papers on the desk and a computer screen. One was a tall and slim chestnut-haired man of half-asian half-european origins, with a small nose, a cleft in his chin, thin lips and brown eyes. He was wearing a frown on his face as he stared at the screen. The other man was rather short and somewhat bulky, of arabic origins, with black hair, green eyes, a fat nose with a shape that one would asociate with a potato and a wrikled face, though he was, like his coleague, only thirty. He was looking timidly at the other man. Both were dressed in black suits and had their facial hair completely shaved and their hair in a comb over.

They had just recieved an order from the head of their branch. They were to keep track of a 'person of interest'. "He is _that man's_ son," were his words. "Though we don't know whether or not he shares similar ideals, we have evidence that they've communicated with each other on several occasions. The latest report from Shells is... troubling."

"Al-Sagheeraq'l!" the taller one said.

"Yes, mr. Yank?" the smaller one asked. Both spoke the Common Language fluently and used its perfect formal form, without a single hint at their town, continent, planet or even province of origin.

"Pack our things! We're going to the outer regions of the Blue Sector."

* * *

"And that, Zoro, is how I got my hat!"

The two comrades, the first citizens of the Democratic Republic of Straw Hat, were flying in the warp bubble of their canoe. They were sitting in the cockpit, Luffy behind the main command dashboard with his legs on it, accidentally touching the keyboard every once in a while. Next to him, Zoro was sprawled on the chair behind another computer, his hands behind his head. The green-haired swordsman was giving his captain a questioning look.

"Are you sure that's what happened?" he asked. What he had just heard was not a story. It was pure chaos. And what's more, the raven-haired pirate seemed to be sure that what he had said was nothing but the truth.

"Positive!" Luffy exclaimed, raising the bottle of rum off his dashboard. "Perhapse there weren't as many positron explosions... Maybe fewer Marine elite soldiers firing at me... And the _Gojira_ probably wasn't quite as big... But other than that... I'm sure I didn't miss anything." He lifted the bottle to his lips, tipping it so that it was completely upside-down. He shook it a little, trying to get whatever droplets were left into his mouth. A moment later, he threw the bottle into the wall behind him, letting it smash, disappointment written all over his face. He sighed. "The rum is gone..."

"We'll have to get more on the next Planet," Zoro stated.

Luffy scratched his arse, his stomach rumbling. "I'm hungry," he said, getting up. "I'll go check the storage room- *yawn* ... and get some food."

"If you happen to find some alchohol down there, save some for me," Zoro requested, leaning back on his chair.

The canoe-class starships had two decks: the upper deck with the bridge and the side cannon controls, the mess hall with the kitchen, a bathroom and sleeping quarters with space for nine tripple bunk beds, and the lower deck which served as storage and engineering, with the main entry airlock on the port side. They were connected with a ladder in the front and a small lift from the storage room into the mess hall.

Luffy returned a few moments later, climbing the ladder from the lower deck that led into the back of the bridge, carrying a bag of 'Nesston's' mixed nuts. He usually didn't trust anything manufactured by a Terran company but it would have to do.

"Food is gone too," he stated, sitting down on the captain's chair. "All we have left is this."

While there were several companies of traders and manufacturers within the Republic's economy, very few could rival giant corporations owned by the highest Terran Citizens. These companies, officially owned by Citizens rather than the state, consisted of both the remnants of the Earth global corporations that controlled the human homeworld's economy before the Republic and were the tools the founders used to gain influence within the then official global power, the United Nations Organisation, as well as companies founded in the time of the Republic. Since Terran Citizens had more rights than regular Republic Citizens, their companies were harder to compete with.

Luffy sighed. "I think there's a populated world in the next system. Well stop and restock."

"'You think'? What do you mean by that?" Zoro asked.

"It means, Zoro, that we need to find ourselves another thing."

"Oh? What do you have in mind?"

"Something that starts with an 'n' and and can plot courses across the stars."

Before Zoro could state his first guess on that, the two exited warp... hitting a meteorite and plummeting into the atmosphere of the ocean world that appeared before them. The thrusters were heavily damaged and their gravity generator started to act up.

"Oh shiiiit!"

" _Mierdaaa_!"

* * *

Orangeworld is a scarcely populated Planet in the Oragon system in the outer part of the Blue Sector. The colony is relatively young, founded only 40 Terran years, or about 41 Orangeworld's years ago, by a group of young colonists led by a poor Terran Citizen named Boodle Danblum. As their official governor, he managed to convince the military governor of the Province to let him found a Feudal Planet. It was put under the Mareblau Province of the Schemersee Region of the Blue Sector. As a small world with a still developing economy, it didn't pay a high tax to its provincial governor, making it less strategically important to the Government.

It was no surprise that the provincial governor, then Marine commodore Mark Ply, didn't send military aid when the planet was occupied by a crew of pirates. '"As long as the offenders stay away from the more developed Planets and interstellar trade routes," he stated in one of his reports to his regional governor, then vice admiral Ghandu Ameen, "expending troops to attack them would be a waste of time and men."

And so, the inhabitants were left with no choice but to abandon the steets of Orangetown to hide in the forests of their island. After all, it was the largest piece of land on the ocean planet, almost the size of Iceland. The pirates wouldn't bother with hunting them down.

The streets of Orangetown were empty, the houses built in a north European style abandoned. On the main street, three figures were chasing a red-headed female teenage human with shoulder-length hair in a white T-shirt and brown synthetic pants. The three of them were armed with cutlasses while the girl only had a small portable computer drive in her hands. Though she was running quite fast, the pirates were gaining on her. Suddenly, she hit a step with the trainer on her right foot, making her trip.

"'Kay now, little lady!" one of the pirates said. "Give us back that drive if you know what's good for you."

"Yeah!" the second one said. "Maybe the captain will consider showing you mercy... and killing you quick-..."

He was interrupted by a loud crash coming from his left. A rumbling sound could be heard, approaching them at a decreasing speed. Finally, the house next to them crumbled, giving way to a canoe-class starship. The ship continued its way, damaging the road and pavement as it slided between the girl and the pirates, finally stopping when it hit the house on the other side of the road.

A few moments later a hatch opened on the lower part of the port side. The still perplexed pirates and redhead could hear voices coming from within.

"Never in my life have I met someone this bad at calculating a warp jump!" a deeper voice speaking in a Hispanic accent said. "Do you even realise what the odds of hitting a large celestial body are!?"

"Oh, quit your complaining you grass-head!" another, higher voice answered. "We survived, eh?"

Two figures jumped from the airlock, landing a bit dizzily on the ground two metres below them.

"Our ship didn't!"

The two noticed the pirates and the girl on the other side of the road

"Say... what's this?" the green-haired one wondered out loud.

Luffy took a moment to observe the four individuals before him. It was obvious that the three armed pirates had less than honest intentions regarding the red-head, whom the straw hat wearing teen recognised as the troubled girl from Alvida's ship. "That, Zoro, is, at least I think so, a situation with a damsel in distress."

"Do you think we should get involved?" Zoro asked.

Luffy tilted his head slightly, giving it a thought. "Eh... Alright, but if someone up there decides that saving a damsel in distress is sexist, well, I'm blaming you."

" _Comprendo_!"

Before the girl could even react, the two attacked the pirates, the straw-hatted one smashing one's face in with a strong headbutt while the green-haired one killed the other two with a flurry of slashes using three swords. The pirates died so quickly they didn't even comprehend what hit them.

"Hahah, nice one, Zoro!"

" _Gracias_! That move was _Onikiri_. Demon Slash."

"'Demon Slash'? Not 'rice balls'?"

" _No_ _no_ , that would be _onigiri_."

Luffy's stomach growled. "I could go for some rice balls..."

The girl cleared her throat to bring their attention back to herself. They had saved her and now they were acting as if they had completely forgotten about it?

The two turned towards her. "Oh, right," Luffy mumbled. He offered her his hand. "Are you unharmed, lass?"

She got up without taking the offered hand. "Yeah... I'm fine, thanks to you two."

"Say... we've met before, right?" Luffy asked.

"Ah, right. You were escaping through Alvida's ship," she confirmed. "Come with me. I'll repay you for your kindness." She started walking up the street. "The name's Nami by the way."

"Captain Monkey D. Luffy, at your service! And my comrade, Zoro Roronoa," Luffy introduced as the two followed her, tipping his hat.

"Zoro?" she asked. "So, you two must be pirate hunters, right? Here to kill that freak, Buggy the Clown?"

"Not really, no. We're just two... anarchists set on sailing through space, free from the Government."

The girl tensed up. "You're... pirates, aren't you?"

"Well... yes, that's about right," Luffy answered.

Nami looked at them rather angrily. "I... am grateful for what you've done for me... But I hate pirates!"

Zoro whispered to Luffy: "I don't think I like this girl, _capitán_."

"I take it you've had some history with pirates?" the captain asked her, ignoring Zoro.

"That's none of your business!" the girl raised her voice. "Pirates... are all selfish bastards who thrive on others' suffering."

"Very well..." Luffy said. "Just... know that the word 'pirate' is just a label that describes a person who commits criminal acts throughout space. And since sedition is a crime, well... Basically anyone who wants to sail through space freely is a pirate."

"What are you trying to say?" Nami asked, anger still in her voice.

"The term 'pirate'... is too broad. You said pirates all simply thrive on other people's suffering. By the way, a Terran polititian or giant company stockholder also does that. Saying that is like saying... all bureaucrats are mindless drones without any sense for other people's lives and work... No wait, that's a bad comparison." He scratched the back of his head, trying to find a better one. "Ah, fuck it. What I'm trying to say is, well... It's a broad term, you can't just say 'all pirates are violent dogs' because there's too much deviation within the group."

Nami silently gave it a thought. Though she wanted to, she couldn't argue with the boy's logic. However, no matter what he said, she could never forget...

"Ah, we're here," she said, leading them into a small café. The establishment was empty, like the rest of the town. The tables were dusty and the bar empty, save for some non-alcoholic drinks. The two boys sat down at one of the tables while the girl walked up to the fridge and took three sandwiches out of it and heated them up in a microwave. Moments later, they were all eating together. While Nami and Zoro ate slowly, Luffy quickly stuffed himself to satisfy his virtually insatiable hunger. Being a Devil's Fruit user took a lot of energy after all.

"So... what got you into trouble with those wackos?" Luffy asked. After finishing his meal he got them all a bottle of orgallo juice - orgallo is a type of citrus, with some traits of a grapefruit, a lime and a mandarin orange.

"I stole from them," the girl stated, sipping her juice.

"You a thief?" Zoro asked.

"Yeah, a damn good one too!" she said proudly.

"Prove it," Luffy challenged.

Nami took a leather wallet out of her pocket. "Is this yours?"

Luffy took a good look at the wallet. He touched all of his pockets before grinning in realisation. "Yes... Well, it belongs to one Henry Morgan, but... Well done, well done indeed!" The wallet contained only the captain's credit chit anyway. After checking it Luffy found that it only contained 20 coins, most of the tyrannical officers money probably being in his Planet's treasury. Barely enough for a mediocre meal, drinks included. "You can keep it."

"I still think one should only steal from someone after beating them in a fight," Zoro commented.

"To each his own," his captain said calmly. "So, what did you steal?"

"Just this," the thief said, showing them a small portable drive. "It contains a star map of the Grand Line."

Luffy stroked his chin in thought. "Tell me, Nami... Are you any good at interstellar navigation?"

Nami huffed. "Interstellar, interplanetary, land, sea... I'm not saying I'm the best there is... But I'm totally the best there is."

The straw-hatted teen nodded to himself. "And what is your ultimate goal in life? If that's not too much of a personal question."

"I... desire to see the stars. And draw new star charts for the inner parts of the Galaxy. I mean, the inner sectors' maps haven't been updated since the Republic took them from the Second Fishfolk Empire after conquering this region in the First First Contact War."

Luffy hummed to himself. "Nami... How would you like to be free? To sail the Galaxy, see the stars without fear of Government laws? To have an adventure only a wolf has and the sheep only dream of? I offer you one. Join my crew and together we'll live the life worth living!"

"No thanks," the girl said firmly.

"Great, I'll-... Come again?"

"No thanks," the girl repeated. "Like I said, I don't like pirates. I only like money and tangerines."

'What is this feeling?' Luffy wondered. 'Is this what they call _Déjà_ _vu_?' He shook his head. "Alright, first of all, money is something most if not all people like," he said. "Secondly... Tangerines? Seriously? Not some deep concept like peace, tranquility, excitement, adventure... But food?"

"Well, what of it?" Nami asked, daring him to disrespect what she had just told him.

To her surprise, the raven-haired captain laughed. "Hah! Nice! You gotta enjoy the little things," he said, calming down a little. "I like money too. I also like meat, horse being my favourite. But most of all, I like rum."

"Rum?" the girl asked.

"Well, I'm a pirate, aren't I?"

Though Luffy was still underage, the laws regarding alcohol consumption were very loose in the Blue Sector. Practically anyone could buy it, but if a minor got in trouble or suffered poisoning, well, his guardians or whomever was responsible for the minor got penalised.

"But anyway... Where is everyone?" Luffy wondered.

"They all fled the city to hide in the woods," Nami explained. "Buggy and his crew have set up a base at the City Tavern in the centre of town."

"Buggy... He the guy you stole from?" Zoro asked.

"Yeah. I was planning on taking his treasure as well but they noticed me and... you know the rest."

Luffy stroked his chin. "I've heard of Buggy the Clown. He's a major arsehole. How about we help you steal his shit and you help us get to the Grand Line."

"The Grand Line? What are you planning on doing there?"

"I'm out for complete freedom. To get that, I have to become the Pirate King!"

Nami stared at the teen. He was certainly not the average boy. He seemed strong, he had big guts, he was certainly carefree. Zoro nudged her. "He has big ideals. Get used to it."

Nami nodded. "Very well, you can help me steal Buggy's treasure and we'll split the profits 60 – 40."

Luffy seemed to be calcucating something as he was soundlessly moving his mouth, counting on his fingers. "Uh... No, that won't do. If I get 60% and Zoro gets 40%, that leaves you with nothing."

Nami glared at him. "No, idiot! I get the 60%!"

"No, that stil leaves one of us with nothing. I get the feeling each of us will be crucial to this plan, so the treasure must be divided into three equal shares," Luffy disagreed. "If you were part of our crew this would have already been sorted out, you know."

Both the captain and the thief drove a hard bargain, but after fifteen minutes of negotiations it was decided that Nami would get 40% while Luffy and Zoro shared the 60%. Nami would help them get to the Grand Line and in return, they would help her steal more valuables. And Nami would consider joining the crew after they stole from Buggy. Luffy quickly wrote up a contract for him and Nami to sign and the deal was sealed.

"So... what's our plan?" Zoro asked.

"I have an idea," Luffy said with a grin on his face. "Nami ties me up and presents me to the Buggy Pirates as her boss whom she has just mutinied against and returns the drive containing the map. She requests to join their crew. They'll definitely accept that and decide to celebrate. Nami will make sure that everyone is distracted - passed out from drinking or knocked out by Zoro, who'll be watching from the vicinity - and steal anything worth stealing, free me and we'll make our escape."

Nami stared at him. 'But that's what I wanted to propose!' What surprised her more was that he, a pirate captain, was prepared to act as bait in this plan. She wasn't sure yet, but she was getting the feeling that he might not be that bad of a guy after all.

"What about if anything goes wrong?" Zoro asked.

Luffy grinned even wider. "Plan B: if anything at all goes wrong, you charge in, kill or maim everyone... and I guess we can improvise from there."

Deciding that Luffy's plan was good, Nami proceded to tie him up. As she did so, her previous train of thought continued. Who was this boy, prepared to sacrifice himself if need be? Was he really that selfless or was he just that confident that his plan would work.

"Hey, Zoro!" Luffy exclaimed, grinning widely. "I guess I just got... roped into some wacky adventure."

While Nami suppressed a giggle, Zoro stared at his captain blankly.

Luffy's grin faded, being replaced by a frown. "Shut up, it was funny!"

* * *

"Captain Buggy!" a generic pirate named Bob said.

"What is it? I'm in the middle of thinking of a new joke!" a giant man of nordic descent in... colourful clothes wearing a clown's make up - sorry, war paint - with a round red nose asked.

Both of them were standing in a town square in front of a tavern. Unlike the rest of the town, the square was full of people, with the pirates using it as their base of operations. They had even set up a circus tent in the centre of the square.

"We found the ones you sent to chase the girl," Bob continued. "They're dead."

Buggy glared at him. "That's not very... entertaining."

"But don't worry, captain, we'll get her yet! We'll show her what happens when someone sticks their nose into our business!"

"WHAT WAS THAT!" the Clown yelled. "YOU THINK MY NOSE IS FUNNY!? MY BIG RED NOSE, HUH!?"

Bob backed away. "Uh... uh... No, captain! I said no such thing. Your nose is totally normal!"

"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG ABOUT MY NOSE!" the captain continued yelling, taking heavy steps towards the retreating pirate. Those around them trembled in fear.

"Nonono, captain! It's not funny, it's perfectly normal!"

"WHAT! I'M NOT FUNNY! ARE YOU SAYING I'M BAD AT ENTERTAINING PEOPLE! THAT I'M A BAD CLOWN!"

"No sir, I-..." Bob tried but couldn't finish as his head got detached from his body by his captain's sword, rolling away slowly.

The captain sent a glare at each of his crew members, daring them to say anything. Two of them quickly approached and removed the body but left the head as it was, knowing that the captain liked to keep those for his collection.

The pirates were broken out of their state of fear when a red-head entered the square, pulling a tied-up boy wearing a straw hat behind her. They all followed her movements as she approached their captain and pushed the tied-up teen before him.

"You have some guts showing your face here, missy," the Clown stated menacingly.

"I have decided to return what I've stolen and offer you my boss as a sign of good will," the girl stated, showing him the drive she had taken. "Also, I'd like to join up with you."

"Is that so?" Buggy questioned.

"Yeah. My talents as a navigator would be wasted on this idiot. I'd rather sail with ghe great captain Buggy."

Buggy approached Luffy, having a look at him from all directions. "So, this is the guy who sent you to steal from me, missy?"

"That's him!"

"Very well!" the Clown exclaimed. "Bob! Throw him to the floor!"

After a few moments of silence, he looked around him, searching for Bob. "Where's Bob!?" he asked.

"You've... just killed him, sir," one of the pirates answered.

"Oh, right!" Buggy exclaimed in realisation. "I knew that." He gave his crew a look. "Well, what are you waiting for!? Put that monkey in a cage!"

Luffy laughed. He laughed loudly, much to the surprise of everyone around him. "Hahaha! Aye, mokey, hahaha! Because my name's 'Monkey'! Oh, that's... hilarious!"

The pirates stared at him for a few moments. Then, Buggy laughed lightly as well. "Hah! I knew someone would appreciate my humour! Too bad we have to kill him!"


	6. Buggy's Circus

Do you know how pirates party? No? I'll give you a hint. It involves excessive amounts of drinks containing ethanol, so much food you could feed a city, intense cries of joy, explicit songs and a lot of firepower. Got it now? Good.

After the pirates threw Luffy into a small cage that was specifically meant for monkeys - the simians, not the members of the Monkey bloodline - they decided to throw another thing - a party - to celebrate Nami's induction into their crew. Luffy, his arms and legs dangling out of the cage, watched as the crew of 35 started throwing food around, partying like wild animals. 'And they locked _me_ up!' were his thoughts.

Nami walked by Luffy's cage, holding a glass of rum in her hand. Even though she'd already had a few, she still seemed to be quite sober, unlike some of the Buggy Pirates. "I hope your plan works," she stated seriously.

Luffy grinned at her. "No worries! They'll get tired eventually and pass out. Then... well, you know the rest."

The orange-haired girl took a look around the square. The pirate party was in full swing. Some were dancing, others juggling, some were doing acrobatics, a few were trying to create a human pyramid. One of them was walking around on his hands, another was doing a headstand... Some were just eating and drinking.

'A real circus,' Nami thought, turning back to Luffy. "What if they suspect something?"

"Don't worry!" Luffy assured. "Most pirates in the outer Blue Sector have a... a lacking education. It's a wonder they can even tie their shoes on their own, let alone sail through space."

Nami sighed. "I guess that's true..." 'Though those that aren't stupid are consequently ten times as dangerous...' she added in her thoughts, exhaling in sadness.

"Many captains simply take quantity over quality when it comes to their crew," Luffy commented. "Anyway... Just as a precaution: could you go and steal those wackos' weapons' energy packs? My pistols are empty."

Nami took a look around. The pirates all seemed to be carrying pistols and extra batteries on their belts. 'Should be easy...'

"Also, could you get me something to eat?" the young captain added. "I'm starving."

Nami stared at him in disbelief. "But you just ate!"she exclaimed, raising her voice slightly.

"That was just one sandwich!" was the straw-hatted captain's response as he drew circles on his growling stomach with his right hand. "How am I supposed to survive with just a sandwich for lunch!"

"Survive?! You won't survive!" That was captain Buggy the Clown. He approached the cage, grinning madly. "Whatcha doing there, Nami? Saying the final 'fuck you'?"

Nami quickly got back into character of a traitor. "Yeah! After what he put me through, I'm glad I'm finally done with him."

"Hahaha! That so!?" the Clown laughed. "What did you do to the poor lass, monkey?!" he asked the Monkey.

Luffy got into character of a captain Nami would have rebelled against. "Wouldn't you like to know..." he said, grinning.

Buggy laughed again. "Hahaha! You are a blast! Or, at least, you soon will be," he smirked, moving a step to the right so that Luffy could see past him. Behind him, a lasercannon was positioned, aimed at the straw-hatted captain. Standing fifteen metres away, the device, five metres in lenght, likely weighed a ton or two or three and was, judging from the wiring atound the silver tube with a crystal at the end, a cannon taken from a ship. The Buggy Pirates had just brought it to the square, pushing it on a gravity-manipulator-assisted cart..

"Oh, you're going to... blast me with a laser cannon then then!" Luffy exclaimed. "Shishishiet! That sure... lights things up!"

Buggy laughed heartily, clenching his sides. "Hahaha! Laser cannon!... Lights things up!..."

The rest of Buggy's crew were also laughing. Nami, however, though she was laughing as well, couldn't find it funny. Mostly because of the situation they were in. This guy, this self-proclaimed future Pirate King, seemed to be likely to die. And yet, he was making jokes. With his executioner.

"Hey, hey!" Buggy said after he managed to catch his breath. "Well, Nami... Since he's your previous boss, how about you prove your loyalty to me by killing him with the magnificent, the awesome, the... flashy..." This enticed another fit of laughter from Luffy. "... Buggy Cannon!"

To demonstrate the power of the cannon, a few pirates aimed it at a nearby street of buildings and then, using a computer on the rear side of the cannon, fired with a loud hum. A bright beam of light, much brighter than that of an ordinary laser cannon, shined from the crystal, crashing through the houses. After just a second of firing, the cannon stopped. Once everyone's eyes accustumed to the much less bright daylight, they could see the damage. The beam of highly concentrated photons had destroyed all the buildings all the way to the edge of the city, melting through the concrete and steel.

Even Luffy's grin was replaced by a look of complete awe. Managing to regain his composure, he mumbled: "I want one..."

"This is the bow cannon from my sloop, the Big Top!" Buggy explained. "It's as powerful as 10 normal cannons." He laughed madly. "You shouldn't worry, monkey! You'll be vaporised before you even feel... hot and bothered!"

"That doesn't make sense!" Luffy shot back, grinning again. "No one would... get wet if you vaporise everything!"

"Oh come on!" Buggy exclaimed. "It was a good one! You're a dick!"

"Another reason I won't... get wet!"

The two captains laughed madly again, their voices echoing through the city streets. The crew just stared at the two. Their captain was a flashy, jolly man but no one had ever made him laugh as much as the monkey in the cage.

"Haha... ha... ah..." Buggy calmed down, wiping his tears.

"Captain! The Buggy Cannon has almost cooled down!" one of the crew informed.

"Okay, the moment has passed. Nami! The stage is yours."

Nami looked at Buggy, at Luffy and then at the cannon. The first one wanted her to use the last one to kill the second one. She looked into Buggy's eyes again. They were flashing with madness, questioning whether she'd do it.

"Don't be shy, Nami!" Buggy cheered, sincerity scarce in his voice. "Since this is your first performance, we won't be too strict with our critiques!"

'Has he seen through our folly?' Nami wondered as she slowly walked towards the cannon. 'Has he realised we've been tricking him?' She stared at the controls, consisting of a touch screen saying 'Ready :-D!' and a shiny red button with the words 'Don't press unless you mean it!' on it.

"Come on! Get on with it!" Luffy yelled. "I'm hungry!" He looked at Buggy, asking: "You think they serve steak in hell?"

Buggy wondered for a moment. "The Holy Church of Ancient Power believes that eating flesh is sinful, so... maybe."

"Bah!" Luffy shook his head. "They were founded by the Hchappas, a species of herbivores! Of course they'll say such nonsense!"

What the two captains were reffering to was a theocratic state with its centre behind the Perseus Galactic arm, its galactic angle around -90° - Terran navigation. They started as a unified planetary government of the Hchappas after their discovery of a precursor research base on their moon and spread into the neighbouring star clusters quickly as they reverse-engineered the warp drive. Soon, two neighbouring star-empires were subjugated by the Church, forming one of the four leading political powers on the Galactic stage.

But back to our story.

Nami still couldn't fire the cannon. She was aware that their game would be up, but her body refused to move. 'Why is Luffy playing along with it?' she thought. 'Is he crazy?'

"Seems she isn't doing it," one of the Buggy pirates stated.

Buggy walked towards the girl, looking at her menacingly with a grin on his face. "You thought you could trick me, girl?!" he yelled at her. "Tell me! What person would trust someone who just betrayed their boss?!"

Nami froze in fear as Buggy pulled a short cutlass and four knives from his coat, holding the sword in his right hand and the knives between the fingers of his left. With the corner of her vision she could barely see Luffy grin widely.

'She seems to make the cut,' he thought. He then took a deep breath and shouted: "Zoro! Plan B!"

" _Si, capitán!_ " came a shout from the roof of the city hall on the north side of the square, behind Luffy's cage. The pirates directed their attention there, to a green-haired young man wearing a bandana and a white shirt, with three _katana_ swords resting in sheathes on his belt. The man jumped, landing gracefully next to Luffy's cage.

Buggy was the first to break the silence: "And who are you supposed to be? Some freedom fighting vigilantee?"

"Well, my name's Zoro, so..." Zoro shrugged.

"Zoro... Roronoa?" one of the Buggy Pirates asked.

"No way! The Demon Swordsman?"

"The Pirate Butcher?"

"The Terror of Barlanthia?"

"No, idiot!" one yelled at the pirate who said the last one. "That was Zolo Racanoa, the serial killer!"

Buggy yelled at his crew, angered by their fearful comments: "Come on, cowards! He's just one man!"

"Aye! But he's Zoro the Pirate Butcher!"

"And we're completely alone against him!"

Buggy facepalmed. "If you want something done-..."

He was cut of by Zoro, who lunged forward, slashing at the Clown with his three swords. Buggy's right hand, left leg and left arm fell off as he was knocked on the floor.

The swordsman smiled darkly. "Less talking, more killing."

The pirates trembled in fear, backing away slowly. Zoro laughed. However, just when he was about to charge, he felt a stinging pain in his right hip. " _Mierda_!" he groaned loudly as he noticed a short sword sticking through the hip. The pain only doubled as the sword was pulled out, blood pouring out of his wound.

The swordsman turned around, witnessing a strange sight. The Clown was back on both his feet, the left hand and right arm floating towards him. Upon closer inspection he could see that his limbs were, below the seemingly artificial flesh, synthetic, detachable machines.

"You are, no doubt, impressed!" Buggy bragged. "My powers must be a spectacular sight! I think I'll charge you for seeing them! With a price of your three lives!"

"Uh... Nami's, like, a cat, so can she pay for all?" Luffy asked. "That'll still leave her with six..."

"No!"

"Well, bummer!... Whatever, you can continue with your monologue."

Buggy nodded politely, outstretching his arms like an actor performing a dramatic speech. "Listen, you lubbers! I ate the Split Split Devil's Fruit! It gave me blueprints for creating a new body, one with detatchable limbs equipped with gravity manipulators and energy shielding!"

"A devil fruit user?!" Nami exclaimed with an astonished voice. "I thought those were a myth!"

"So wait! You can detach any part of your body?" Luffy asked.

Buggy grinned at him. "That's right!"

"How... At least how big?" Luffy continued his line of questioning.

"Very small!"

The straw-hatted captain laughed. "That means you can even detach your..." he trailed off, indicating at his own groin.

Buggy glared at him for a while before sighing. "Okay... I'll admit, that was a good one..."

"You walked right into it though," Luffy commented.

"Enough talk!" Zoro cried, hurling himself at the pirates surrounding the Buggy Cannon. His wound stung severely, but, as he reasoned in his head, now was not the time for weakness. If he wanted to be the strongest swordsman in the Galaxy, he would need to ignore such petty scratches.

The pirates tried to fight back. However, even though they outnumbered him, the green-haired warrior fought like the Demon he was, stabbing, slashing, parrying and slashing again. Deciding that fighting him up close, a few pirates dropped their swords, retreated a few paces away from the swordsman and drew their laspistols. They aimed at Zoro and pulled the triggers.

To their surprise, nothing happened. The weapons didn't even heat up. They checked their batteries. They were gone.

"Hahah! Nice work, Nami!" Luffy exclaimed.

Buggy, who had been watching the whole fight - show, as he called it - directed his attention at the thief. She opened her pockets and pulled out a couple of energy packs, sticking her tongue out.

"When did you...?" the Clown demanded.

"While all the attention was on Zoro, suckas!" she drawled, smiling victoriously. She then threw the batteries to the teenage captain.

Luffy caught the energy packs easily. He strapped most to his belt and drew out the two laspistols he had stolen on Planet Shells, loading them with the remaining two batteries. Shooting the cage's lock off he wiggled out of the cramped space, stretching his limbs.

Buggy directed his glare at his crew. "Okay, who's the clever guy that threw the monkey in the cage without checking him for weapons!?"

While the lowlifes were not very sharp-minded, they weren't so stupid as to declare themselves to be the culprit. Instead, they silently shivered in fear.

Buggy facepalmed. "Just... finish these lubbers. But don't think you're off the hook!"

Zoro got into his battle pose. Nami put her hand into her pocket, preparing to pull something out. Luffy twirled his guns in his hands, them aimed them at the pirates and their captain. The Buggy Pirates prepared to attack.

"Wait!"

All gathered turned northwards, towards the source of the voice. Standing at the edge of the square was a wrinkled man, west germanic, with circular glasses. He was wearing a yellow lined shirt and black pants, as well as a white wig. The wig itself was styled into three small lumps of hair, one at the top and two at the side, making him distinguishable as a governor. He was holding a repeating crossbow in his hand.

The man was flanked by two dozen men. Most were young, in their twenties, with their bodies in their prime. They were armed with tools like hammers, cutting lasers, drills, knives...

Buggy grumbled, asking with a very irritated tone: "What is it now!?"

The old man stepped forward. Though his body was stiff in fear, he held a straight and proud pose. "I am Boodle Danblum, governor of this Planet. Your reign of terror ends today, Clown." He raised his weapon high up in the air. "Come on men! Tonight we feast in Valhalla!"

With a strained battlecry, the youngsters, following their governor, charged right into the already winded and demoralised pirates. Zoro got into a more relaxed pose as he watched the band of brawlers take on the warriors of the sea. The resilience of these carpenter, engineer and mechanic apprentices was truly a sight to behold.

"Well, well, Buggy!" Luffy laughed as he twirled the guns again. "Seems your crew is getting... mobbed?"

Buggy stared at his foe blankly before shaking his head. "No, that was a bad one."

"It was, it was," the younger captain agreed.

A shake of the ground got their attention. Someone was approaching from the east. Both captains looked in the aforementioned direction noticing a man riding a giant lion.

The man in question was slim but muscular, of east European origin and wearing a vest made of white fur and blue pants. He had a short oval-styled white beard, short white hair and had two bear-ears-shaped bundles on the top of his head.

The lion was big, about the size of an indian elephant. It was likely one of the species created by Genov Labs during the First First Contact War, used as a weapon against the Second Fishman Empire.

The man stared in astonishment at the scene before him. His captain was standing in the square with an orange-haired girl, a green-haired man wielding three swords and a lad in a red captain's coat with a straw hat on his head.

"Captain!" he exclaimed. "I ran here as soon as I heard fighting! Who's attacking?!"

"Mohji!" Buggy greeted. "Just the man I wanted to see! Go there and kill those landlubbers attacking my men!"

"Aye aye, captain! Come on Richie!" Mohji prepared to charge at the townspeople with his lion, but stopped when Luffy stepped in his way. "And who are you?"

The boy grinned. "Me, I'm captain Monkey D. Luffy, the soon-to-be Pirate King!"

Buggy looked at the younger captain in surprise. He wanted to be the King? He thought he was comparable with captain Roger?

"Say..." Luffy continued. "Are those ears just hair or are you some weird mutant?"

"THAT'S HAIR, RAT!" Mohji yelled. "RICHIE! CHARGE!"

The lion complied, pouncing towards the straw-hatted teen. However, the boy had a few tricks up his sleeves. While the lion flew, he rolled away and aimed his pistols at its legs. With a few shots, missing a few times, he hit the beast's front legs, causing it to fall forward, rolling a few times before stopping.

"Eh... I knew he was just a little... pussy!" Luffy exclaimed.

Mohji crawled from under the injured lion, grunting in pain. His physical pain was immediately forgotten when he saw his lion. "Richie! Richie, you okay?!"

"He'll be fine!" Luffy waved him off, turning towards the enemy captain. "So, got any more buggers to throw at me, Buggy?"

Buggy, who had long since transitioned from his joyful, comedic attitude, growled at our hero. "You... you've just beaten my first mate. And my crew are busy with the landlubbers."

True to his word, the pirates were still fighting the townsfolk. However, their morale had returned and they seemed to be gaining the upper hand. While quite a few pirates had fallen, a few of the young Orangeans were lying amongst them.

"But my quartermaster Cabaji remains," the Clown finished.

A tall slender man of Indo-Aryan descent approached them from a building east of the square. He was wearing a blue vest and white pants, as well as brown boots. His black hair was shaved on the right side while it was left long on the left, covering his face. In his right hand, he held a long cutlass. Oh, and did I mention he was riding a unicycle?

"You called for me, captain?" he asked Buggy.

"I need some help taking out this trash, Cabaji," the Clown stated.

'Okay,' Luffy thought. 'This has got out of hand. Quite a few things I haven't forseen have happened. Looks like I'll have to do what I do best.' He lowered his eyebrows and grinned his creepy maniacal grin. 'Improvise!'

"Nami!" he adressed the orange-haired thief that had been observing the whole time. "Get those sticks of yours and help the townspeople!"

"Wh-... How did you know I had those?!" she exclaimed in surprise.

"While you were pushing me tied up, I felt something hard in your trousers poke me. I just... asumed corectly that it wasn't... that other thing it could have been."

Nami decided to roll with that, taking three sticks out of her pockets and attaching them together, creating a _bo_ staff. She ran towards the big brawl and, trying to avoid direct confrontation, started taking down the pirates that weren't paying attention to her.

"Zoro!" Luffy continued.

" _Si_?"

"You'll take on the cabbage swordsman! And be careful with your hip wound!"

Zoro went to attack the swordsman on the unicycle, their swords clashing in a flury of attacks.

"And that leaves me and you, Clown!" the younger captain stated, pointing the gun in his right hand at Buggy.

Buggy smirked as he got into a combat pose. "Bring it, monkey!"

"Time to honk your nose!" Luffy said, aiming his pistols at the Clown.

"WHAT WAS THAT ABOIT MY NOSE!?"

"Well, your big, red, fake no-... Wait! Is that your actual nose?!" the raven-haired lad's eyes widened. "Oh... shit... I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were a genetic freak."

"NOBODY INSULTS MY NOSE!"

"Sheesh... I said I was sorry."

Buggy hardened his grip on his weapons, splitting his left arm off. "TIME TO DIE SPECTACULARLY!" he cried, charging at the boy with the sraw hat.

Luffy quickly assessed the situation. He then strapped the guns to his belt. "These would get in my way anyway."

While the two captain's clashed, the two swordsmen continued the fight. Zoro continued to swing at Cabaji, but he continued to dodge and counterattack the three-swords wielder. The man was an acrobat, performing elegant moves around his opponent.

"Your petty tricks won't help you, cabbage!" Zoro taunted, swinging at his foe's left shoulder.

Cabaji deflected the blow, then dodged the stab coming at his chest, Zoro using the sword in his left hand. "Why don't you get on a unicycle and say that to my face, dirtbag!"

Slash. Stab. Block. Deflect. Dodge. Swing. Clang. Fart. Bling. Stab. The duel continued, each swordsman trying to finish his opponent off. However, the other always seemed to have a defense ready.

With a strong slash from above, Cabaji tried to cut into Zoro's head. However, the Demon blocked with his left sword, proceeding to redirect the attack so that it missed, coming down at his left. He was planning to follow up with a counter with both his remaining swords.

Cabaji prevented this, breathing a fire at Zoro. The green-haired swordsman took a step back, his face having recieved a few burns. The acrobat then proceeded to kick Zoro's wounded hip, causing him to roar in pain.

Cabaji swung at Zoro again, the young swordsman barely blocking with his left sword. The pain in his hip was unbearable, but he kept his head cool. After all, his captain had told him to fight the acrobat and he intended to win.

"What you gonna do now, 'Demon'!?" Cabaji taunted, saying 'Demon' with a tone implying irony.

Zoro grinned. "I'll attack the spot you are unable to defend, _cara de culo_!" He then stabbed at the man's unicycle, right through the wheel. Then, pulling the blade towards himself, he caused the unicycle to move forward quickly, making Cabaji lose balance.

His opponent fell on his back, air being knocked out of him. Looking upwards, he saw Zoro standing over him. He glared at his victorious foe.

Zoro hit him with the blunt side of his blade, knocking the acrobat out. He could have killed him, but he decided it would be more fun having a defeated foe coming after him, seeking a rematch.

The Demon then sat down on the ground, holding his wound that he just remembered having. It hurt like hell, but he didn't feel like any of his organs were severely hurt so it shouldn't be a problem. He stood up again, walking towards a table that had bottles of rum on it.

While Zoro fought the acrobat, Nami was running around the battle between the townsfolk and the pirates. Being a girl of rather small stature, she tried to avoid direct confrontation and, instead, attacked anyone who wasn't paying attention to her. A muscular pirate busy fighting a mechanic's apprentice? Knock his feet from under him with the staff. A dark-skinned man of central African descent about to finish off a young lad of no more than twenty? Hit him in the back of the head.

However, her doings soon grabbed the attention of the pirates, a group of three deciding to take her out. One was a dark brown-skinned mulatto with black hair parted to either side of his head. He was wearing a large circle earring, and a dark yellow button up shirt with brown pants and a light brown belt. The second was a bald and pale man of Scandinavian origin, bald and wearing a reddish-brown shirt with runic writing on it. He had dark colored pants. He also had two horizontal scars around the upper half of his head. The last one was tanned, with Greek features, red haired. He was wearing a black and white checkered bandana, and a green V-neck shirt, with black pants.

"If it isn't little girl double agent!" the first said, brandishing his cutlass.

"You just wanted to plunder our plunder, huh!" the second said, a longsword in his hands. "Quite balsy!"

"Well, we, the Superhuman Domingos, can't let that happen to our captain!" the third said, pointing his rapier at Nami. "Time to die, bitch!"

Nami quickly retreated, running from the three pirates chasing her. She ran right through the group of battling men, hoping to lose them in the crowd while dodging the attacks within it. However, the Domingos kept tailing her.

"You can not run not hide, girly!" the first Domingo taunted as he surprised her by stepping before her. He had let the other two chase her while he went around her to stop her. She was now surrounded.

The three pirates cackled madly as they approached her. Nami held her staff close to her, closing her eyes. She knew she couldn't fight all three of them at once.

"Any last words?!" the second Domingo laughed.

Nami kept quiet, waiting for the worst. She heard something swish through the air, but the blow never came. Only screams of the Domingos. She opened her eyes and saw that all three had crossbow bolts embedded in their legs and were now lying on the ground, wailing in pain.

In front of her, she could see Boodle with his Cho-ko-nu aimed at the three pirates. "I am a hunter and you are the prey," he stated lowly in his battle extasy.

The Cho-ko-nu, or repeating crossbow, is an age-old weapon capable of firing bolts at an impressive rate, the mechanism of stringing and loading the bolt being automated. It was first used by the Chinese in the 4th century BC and reapeared in soldiers' hands in the late 21st century AD, when metal foam started to be used as armour. It was reintroduced into the military when the UN had to suppress a rebellion in the Middle East, just a decade after they were declared the first unified human government.

Nowadays, the crossbow remains only as a hunting weapon, energy weapons becoming the new standard.

Nami looked around herself. The battle was almost over. The townsfolk held their own in the fight, beating the Buggy Pirates with only a few casualties. Zoro had defeated Cabaji and was now disinfecting the wound on his hip with rum, using it as a painkiller as well. Now, the only ones fighting were the captains.

Luffy tried to strike at the Clown, but he split his body in two, each part flaying in its own direction. Buggy's right arm flew towards the straw-hatted captain, trying to slash at him. Luffy skillfully deflected the sword with the palm of his right hand. Then, he started spinning his left arm above his head at a speed high enough for thd centrifugal force to start stretching it outwards, before hitting Buggy in the face.

Bugg's upper half stumbled backwards at the hit. He spat out a tooth, looking his opponent straight in the eyes.

"I see," he said. "You've eaten a Devil's Fruit too!"

Luffy laughed. "That's right! I am now a rubber man!"

The two continued to fight, Buggy trying to cut the younger captain, attacking from all directions with his split-up body. Luffy answered with a skillful display of hand to hand combat and eladtic powers, even headbutting his foe one time by pulling his head backwards with his hands, bending it over his neck, then releasing it, letting it hit Buggy as it wiggled like a bobblehead's head.

"You fight well!" Buggy complimented. "But you'll never be Pirate King!"

"How so?"

"I've sailed under Gold Roger!" Buggy explained as he tried to land a blow at his foe, failing. "And he was much much stronger than you! He was a lot more flashy! And his roaring could be heard through vacuum!"

"You sailed under the Pirate King?!" Luffy marveled. He never imagined he was fighting one of Roger's former crewmembers. "You must have known Red-Haired Shanks then!"

"Shanks!" the Clown growled. "That bastard of a man!" To express his anfer, he stabbed at Luffy. The boy barely dodged, recieving a cut on his neck.

"Hm? What did he do to you?" he asked, punching one of the parts of Buggy's torso.

"He was an ass, that's what!" Buggy yelled, slashing at Luffy, garely touching his straw hat.

The boy grabbed onto it. "Whoa! Watch the hat! 'That bastard of a man' who 'was an ass' gave it to me!"

Another slash, this time aimed at the hat, barely missed. "That's why it looks so familiar, huh?!" He swung again, this time with the knives in his left hand. "Stop moving!"

Nami watched from afar as the older captain tried to hit the younger's straw hat. She had noticed, during the fight, that the boy tried to keep his hat from getting harmed, as if it were the most valuable thing in the Universe. Yet another piece of evidence that the straw-hatted boy wasn't an average pirate, caring only about money and power.

"This hat is the symbol of my promise to him!" Luffy yelled as he dodged. "I promised to give it back to him unharmed once I'm the King!"

In a moment of weakness, the raven-haired boy let his hat fall off his head. Buggy siezed the opportunity and stabbed at the hat with the knives in his left hand. The straw ripped as the knives went through, creating four holes in the hat.

"There's your hat!" Buggy laughed. "I guess you don't have to become the Pirate King any more!"

Luffy's eyes darkened. Gone was the grinning, laughing boy. This man angered him greatly and he desired retribution.

Whith a machinegunish of strikes he punched and kicked at the parts of Buggy floating around, knocking them into buildings. Buggy returned his attention to the fight, seeing that he had succeeded in angering him.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen... the Splitting Festival!" he declared.

His body was split into a hundred pieces that floated around Luffy, flying in circles. Luffy observed carefully where the Clown would strike.

"My devil's fruit allows me to create really small pieces!" the Clown exclaimed. "Oh, I can feel the air mixing around you!"

Luffy stared at the head that remained floating in front of him. "Wait! You can still feel them?"

"Uh... That's right, the nerves in them send the signal wirelessly into my head."

As quickly as Luffy's happy expression disappeared, it returned, in the form of his maniacal grin as well. He reached into the swarm of body parts, grabbing a foot. He removed the shoe quickly.

"Hey! What are you- HAHAHAHAHA!" Buggy started laughing as the boy tickled his foot. "HAHAHSHA! STOP-... STOP IT! HAHAHAHAHA!

The Clown's body parts fell on the gtound as he lost control, laughing like a madman.

Luffy noticed Nami watching his fight. "Lass! Lock those body parts in a chest or something."

The girl complied, running into the circus tent. She returned with a chest, pushing it on a cart. She then proceeded to pick up all the pieces of Buggy's body and put them into the chest. Soon, the only thing remaining were his feet and head.

Luffy then put those in a bag with Zoro's help, sealing it.

The townsfolk stared at the three teens as they trapped captain Buggy. Then, at the top of their lungs, they gave a loud cheer. "HIP HIP... HURRAY!"

Zoro smiled as he gave his captain a bottle of rum. Luffy accepted politely. He took a big swig from it, then stared at the hat he was holding in his other hand.

Nami approached him. She saw that the hat really meant a lot to him. 'That reminds me of...' she trailed off in her thoughts.

"Hey..." she said.

"Hm?" Luffy looked at her, putting on a smile.

"I've thought about it, and... Your rules state that I can leave the crew at any time, along with my share of the loot?" she asked.

Luffy grinned widely, knowing what she was talking about. "That's right!"

"Then... where do I sign?"


	7. Chouchou Steeljaw

**Welcome back to Legend of the Galctic Pirates, ladies! And gents too, I guess. I'm back from my travels to write more propaganda- I mean, stories.**

 **On a side note, did you know that my nation has the most Olympic medals per capita? Here's to hoping a small island nation of a few thousand doesn't get one!**

 **There is a mention of a copyrighted work in this chapter: 'Pirates of Space' by Messenger. Go with it.**

 **Also, in this chapter you'll see the first non-cannon crewmember.**

 **Anyway, let's go! Adventures lie ahead!**

* * *

"We owe you our freedom, kids!"

As soon as Nami signed up, the trio was approached by Boodle, the old planetary governor. His youngsters were busy tying up the wounded beaten pirates, singing the cheerful song of victory. The relief and the pleasure of victory were also visible on the governor's face. His clothes were torn and slightly bloody, his wig was missing from his bald head, but he didn't seem to care as he thanked the group of now three pirates.

Luffy lowered the bottle of rum he was drinking from his lips, smiling widely. "You saved yerself, gov'nor," he stated with a slight accent. "Yer lads followed you into battle for yer freedom and you won. The end."

Boodle smiled and shook his head. "No, kid. Without seeing your brave face-off with Buggy and his crew, the youngsters... no, I wouldn't have had half the courage to fight. And the Clown could have destroyed the whole town."

"I would have gone and done it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!" was heard from the bag the pirate captain was trapped in. It was lying forgotten at Luffy's legs, below the table with bottles of rum on it.

Luffy delivered a kick to it, causing Buggy to yelp. "I don't remember asking you a god-damned thing!" he said, with a slight tone of anger in his voice. The man had ripped his hat after all. "And it's 'I would have gotten away with it too', etc."

The governor chuckled at the sight. 'Ah, youth...' he thought. "May I know your name, young man?" he asked Luffy, deducing he was the leader.

"Me, I'm captain Monkey D. Luffy," the rubber man answered with a grin, his right thumb stretched towards his chest proudly. "Remember that well, for I shall be the Pirate King!" he added.

'Monkey D. Luffy, huh?' the governor thought to himself. 'This kid will indeed do great things. He has both the strength and resolve to change the course of history. Not unlike Gol D. Roger...'

"We are eternally grateful to you, captain Luffy," Boodle finally said. "As a pirate, you probably won't be able to collect the prize on Buggy's head. And your courage can't be left unrewarded."

That's when Nami stepped in. "Yeah, I agree. A payment for our work would-..."

"No need," Luffy stated, cutting her off. "You need to rebuild Orangetown first."

Nami turned towards the young captain with a dissatisfied look. "But-..."

"Our target was the pirates' loot," cut her off again, giving her a stern look. "We fought them because they were in the way of it. We weren't fighting for the Orangeans, so we shouldn't accept their reward. Especially when they need the money to rebuild their town."

Again, Nami was proven wrong in her belief that all pirates cared about was money and power. Instead, she recieved a lecture in morality from one. Instead, she was the one that let her greed get the best of her, making her, in reality, as bad as a pirate. So, she lowered her head in shame, saying a silent "Yeah," in agreement.

Luffy smiled at her. "Don't worry. Next time I'll find the people in need first, strike a deal with them and then solve their problem."

The governor spoke again: "There must be something we can do to repay you?"

Luffy thought for a few moments. "Well... I do need a new ship... and supplies to last us until the next port..." His gaze trailed off, moving around the post-battle square before landing on... "That!"

Boodle followed his gaze towards the centre of the square. "The tent?"

"No, the thingy in front of it!"

The Buggy Cannon. The destructive cannon stood forgotten in front of the circus tent where it had been left after Nami refused to fire it. Its destructive power couldn't be questioned: the long line of destroyed buildings running all the way to the edge of the settlement was a fine proof of it.

"You can take that blasted cannon!" Boodle stated. "I don't want it on my planet!"

Luffy burst out in laughter. "Hahah! Blasted! Get it!?" Under the table, Buggy joined his laughter.

They were interrupted by a strained groan. Next to Luffy, Zoro was pouring some more alcohol onto his wound. He then proceeded to drink the rest.

"Aye, Zoro here'll need some doctoring up," Luffy added.

"I'm fine, _capitán_!" the swordsman interjected. "Just give the wound some time and- YARGH! _MIERDA_!"

The green-haired shot a strained glare at his captain who had just pressed his right index finger to his wound. Even to a trained warrior like him, the pain was unbearable.

"I need you in perfect condition, Zoro," Luffy stated. "Heal up. Captain's orders."

The governor nodded. "I'll get doc Kharn to fix your friend up. And I'm sure we can find some food and other essencials we can spare." He paused for a few moments. "As for the ship, well... The Buggy Pirates docked two in the port. The Big Top, his sloop-class flagship, and a small pinnace, the Little Bottom. The former is, while in perfect sailing condition, too big and complex for a crew of three to man, but the latter is, while being small enough, damaged beyond repair and will probably break with a few-..."

"Shh!" Luffy cut him off. He seemed to be straining to hear something, using his hands to stretch his ear's width. "You hear that?"

The governor quieted down, trying to hear the sound the young captain was talking about. Over the mumbling of his Planet's youth, he could hear strained howling.

"It's coming from over there, come on!"

Luffy started running towards the line of ruined buildings, his two comrades and Boodle following. He jumped over destroyed walls, some of which were still radiating heat with a few fires burning the wooden furniture. The howling was getting louder and louder, until the four finally reached its source.

"By Thor!" Boodle exclaimed as he took in the sight before him.

Zoro shook his head. "That's just... awful."

"Poor thing!" Nami almost cried, putting her hands over her mouth.

The captain had no comment to add to what the others had said.

At the entrance of a generic dwelling construction thet seemed to have used to have a shop on the ground floor, a very young dog, almost a pup, was howling at the sight of an old bitch, probably its mother. She was smoldering, half her body having been exposed to the shot from the Buggy Cannon.

They appeared to belong to the Persceptive Fighthound breed, a breed renowned for its intelligence, loyalty and combat strength. The PF were one of the most popular breeds in the frontier sectors, due to their sense for their master's alliances and versatility. They looked somewhat like a terrier with a slightly longer and wider jaw. They had short white hair and grew to a height of a metre and length of one and a half.

"Yowl!" the little dog cried.

"I thought everyone, even the animals evacuated?" Luffy asked, having lost his humorous attitude at the tragic sight.

"Almost everyone," Danblum stated with sorrow in his voice. "That's Leufira, the pup's Chouchou. Their master, Hocker, got ill about a year ago. Boorbounic plague, you remember? Well, we, as a small colony didn't exactly have access to better doctors and with the pandemic almost over, Orangeworld was simply quarantined. So, Hocker left his house to stay at the clinic, said that he didn't want to infect us as well. As he left, he instructed his dogs to watch the house while he's gone... He never returned. And since then, Leufira has... had guarded the house, awaiting her master's return. Even when Buggy and his crew came to town-..."

"No more! Please, no more!" Luffy moaned, touched by the governor's words. "Such a beautiful story! Such loyalty!"

He slowly approached the two dogs, getting on his knees in front of them. Chouchou stopped moaning to pay attention to the newcomer and prepared to fight should he pose a threat. Luffy gazed into his eyes with sympathy, before reaching out to him slowly. Chouchou let out a few growls at the young man, but quieted down as the hand approached him, seeing no ill intent in him. Luffy started to comfortingly stroke his chin, muttering words of condolence.

'Man, he's good,' Zoro thought. 'That's love at first sight right there.'

'What is he now, a dog whisperer?' Nami wondered.

"Those evil bastards," Luffy said to the dog. "They left you motherless. Packless..." He continued to comfort Chouchou.

"Chouchou is very young, only a year and a half," Boodle stated. "He has some basic skills but, as a dog, he'll need a family to call his own."

Luffy thought for a few moments before standing up and turning to his two crewmates. "Can we keep him?"

* * *

It was a few hours later that the crew was, once again, traveling through space, speeding at a superluminal speed with their warp bubble towards the next system. The Little Bottom was a wreck, more a flying tub than a starship, with its lower deck sealed off due to a crack in its hull. With each forceful change in velocity, the ship shook violently and crackling could be heard through the walls. But, as Luffy had reasoned, it would have to do until they found a better ship.

Said captain was currently sitting cross-legged in the command seat on the ship's bridge, Chouchou napping on his lap. He was whistling an old folk tune, 'Pirates of Space'. Behind him, Zoro was sleeping as well, lying against the back wall of the bridge.

Nami, from her seat at the pilot's controls, observed the young captain as she continued to mend his straw hat. It seemed to have high sentimental value to him, being some sort of a symbol of honour and a promise he had made. He even named his own independent country, as he called the small crew of now three, after it.

Her thoughts went back to the battle on Orangeworld. Luffy was, unlike most people in that day and age, a man of honour. His moral compass differed from the one the Terran Government was propagating. He was an anarchist and desired freedom above all else. And, unlike the stereotypical pirate, he didn't seem to be a looter or rapist, pillaging worlds as he pleased.

"There, done," she stated as she finished fixing his hat. She threw it over to him and he caught it gracefully between his right thumb and index finger.

Putting the hat on theatrically, Luffy grinned at her, his signature expression once again forming on his face. "Thanks."

"Say, Luffy?" Nami said.

"Aye?"

"That scar under your eye. How did you get it?"

Luffy trailed said scar with his finger. "This?" At Nami's nod, he continued: "It's not exactly an exciting story."

"Oh, it doesn't matter," the navigator assured.

"No, really. It's silly," the captain said in annoyance.

The thief's eyes sparkled in curiosity. "Now I really want to hear it."

"No, you really don't."

"Tell me how you got the scar!" Nami raised her voice, causing Chouchou and Zoro to stir in their sleep.

"Ach aye!" Luffy raised his hands defensively. "Easy! You're the navigator, not the quartermaster."

The captain cleared his throat dramatically. Then he spoke: "Gather 'round and listen as I tell you now this tale! T'was about a Terran decade ago that a pirate ship landed in the settlement of Foosha on Planet Goa. The Red Hair Pirates. They decided to use it as a base of operations, going on several adventures and robberies from there. The locals, due to the criminals' boost to economy, let them stay.

Their tales of their exploits soon sparked the interests of a young boy. He often came to the local bar where the Red Hairs woud speak of their adventures. But whenever he'd ask to join them, he got the same answer: 'You're not made of the right matter for it, kid'. Eventually, he'd had enough. He took a combat knife and, in front of the entire bar, cut himself under his eye, so that the pirates would see how tough he truly was.

The end."

As Luffy finished his tale, Nami stared at him for a few moments. Gradually, she began to chuckle, before breaking out in hearty laughter. 'He cut himself to prove he was fit to be a pirate?' she thought.

"Told you it was a silly tale," Luffy said, still smiling even though the girl was laughing at his younger self's stupidity.

A siren suddenly sounded, alerting the crew of the iminent exit from warp. Chouchou, startled by the sound, jumped from Luffy's lap and ran behind his seat. Zoro groaned and slowly got up, mumbling Hispanic profanities.

All of them in their places, they let the ship decelerate, before popping the warp bubble. They enetered a system of a g-class star.

"Alright, this'll be the Gecko system," Nami stated, rising from her seat at the rudder and going over to the navcomputer. She turned the device comprised of a keyboard and a square metre big hologram platform on. "Let's see now..." She brought up the local cluster's map but was bombarded with error messages, informing her that the information was corrupt, the operating system was outdated and that an error had occured while creating an error report. "Fucking Macrohard OS 75! Why can't computers have a Freax!?"

"At least it's not a Pear OS," Luffy tried to calm her down. "You know that feeling when the computer thinks it knows better than you what you want?"

"Even synths don't do that," Zoro agreed.

Meanwhile, Nami had managed to manually locate the planets in the system using the ship's sensors. She flew them in the direction of the populated worlds.

A couple of hours of subluminal travel later they reached their destination. A system of twin planets orbiting the star in the fabled 'Goldylocks Zone'. Both were habitable, but one seemed to be more populated than the other.

"Here we are," Nami stated. "Syrup Alpha and Syrup Beta."

Luffy thought for a few moments. "Land on Beta," he decided.

"But Luffy!" Zoro interjected. "If we want a new ship, Alpha is the place to go to!"

"With a pirate ship?" the straw-hatted boy said. "A heavily populated world like that would fire at us first and ask questions later. Beta, however... Even if they have ground-to-orbit defences they'd realise a pirate wouldn't just come to raid them with the real prize just 400 000 kilometres away."

He turned to Nami. "Set us down, nice and easy. We'll try and hitch a ride to Alpha on an interplanetary transport."

Seeing logic in the captain's reasoning, the navigator entered the scarcely populated world's orbit and descended into its atmosphere. The humid world with a mostly tropical climate had only one settlement in the middle of one of its forests, surrounded by fields of green plants the pirates couldn't recognise from their altitude. Whatever they were, it seemed to be the only thing they grew. Unless it was food, the planet had to rely on its neighbour for the basic resource.

The crew, though, had no time to wonder about the economic purpose of the small colony. They had reached their destination, a small landing platform a few minutes' walk away from the settlement. It was empty of all spacefaring vessels, as well as personel. It didn't have a command tower and consisted simply of a platform big enough to support a few medium-sized ships.

As the Little Bottom landed, the crew heard a loud crack, before being wildly shook as the ship's landing gears broke. The ship's computers informed them that the thrusters were damaged and the gravity manipulation field was offline.

"Well fuck!" Nami swore.

"Don't worry about it," Luffy said. "We all make mistakes. Besides, we don't need this ship anymore.

"Unless you noticed, idiot," the girl screamed in pure rage, "there are no ships to take us to Syrup Alpha! We're stuck here!"

"Calm down," Zoro interjected. "We're here now. We'll find a cantina, have a drink and see what next."

"I agree with Zoro," Luffy stated. "Let's have a drink."

"Woof!" Chouchou agreed.

Nami facepalmed. "What kind of crew did I join?" she muttered just loud enough for them to hear.

"One that doesn't turn a fly into an elephant," the captain said.

" _Por favor_?"

"Means we don't make a fuss about trivial things," he explained. "Goan phrase."

The crew made their way out of the ship. Then, their first item of business was to assess the damage. Little Bottom had, as they concluded, met the end of its interstellar career. The hull was just a nudge away from falling apart, the thrusters seemed to be leaking some strange substance that shouldn't even be there... Hopefully the ship wouldn't explode or something stereotypical like that.

Next, the three humans and one dog decided to visit the village. However, just as they were about to reach the main road leading to the settlement, they were stopped by a voice from the bushes.

"Don't come any closer, _waykr_!" It was deep and powerful. The man spoke in a thick Britannic accent.

Back in the 22nd century, after the discovery of warp, a new age begane for the myriad of the nations of Terra: the New Colonial Era. The leading nations of the United Nations, like the Britannic Empire, the Russian Federation, the American Unified States or the Viszegrad Alliance, sent colony ships outbound, to search for new worlds to settle. It was an age of exploration and expansion. Even to this day, the nations that settled the stars with their empires are acknowledged, with the language groups of the day being named after the first colony ships they sent from Terra, like Britannia, Germannia, Hispannia, Brasillia, Honshu, Arabia or California.

But back to the story.

The crew noticed a lanky mulatto of about 16 or 17 standing in the bushes by the road, aiming a strange-looking rifle with a scope at them. Medium-length woolly black hair peeked from under the olive-green bandana on his head. He wore goggles over his eyes. He had brown overalls with multiple pockets, as well as a small satchel over his shoulder. But the most notable feature had to be his nose. Thin and fairly long horisontally, causing the brown-skinned boy to look like Pinocchio.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Zoro asked.

The strange youth pointed a thumb at himself. "I'm the fearless Usopp, master of tricks, defender of this planet and the pirate with a crew of six gorillion at his disposal. I am known as 'Captain' Usopp!"

To emphasise his point, he pointed at the forest behind him where hundreds of silhuettes seemed to rise from hiding places.

"Six gorillion?!" Luffy responded, feigning shock. "Oh woe!"

"Is that even a number?" Zoro wondered.

"Arf," Chouchou voiced, probably trying to say 'no'.

Nami sighed in frustration at their silliness. "Oh please! I'd be surprised if there are over six hundred people living on this planet."

Usopp gasped in shock, but managed to recompose himself. "Well, I might have exagerated my manpower. But it's still high!"

Just then, the silhuettes in the woods started to crackle, dissppearing and reappearing over and over again.

"Wait a minute!" the straw-hatted teen exclaimed. "Those aren't warriors. Those are holograms!"

" _Daem 't, ey nooz_!" a childish voice shouted behind the bushes. A moment later, a trio of preteen boys could be seen running towards the settlement.

"Traitors!" the dark-skinned teen shouted behind them. He then turned his attention to the newcommers, aiming his rifle at them. His voice shook as he spoke, his nervousness obvious now. "Right! I might be alone! But that's why I have this railgun. I can hit a fly from a kilometre away with it!"

Chouchou growled at his threat, preparing to strike.

Luffy's face got serious at the boy's threat. He spoke challengingly: "Nice gun you have there. But can you use it?"

"Huh?"

"That is a killing tool," he continued. "When pointing it at someone, you're preparing to take his life, especially if you're a sniper."

Usopp's hands started to shake. This man, even with a gun aimed at him, had complete confidence in himself while he, the gunman, was nervous, scared for his life, not the other way around. "W-what are you going at?"

"Can you kill?" Luffy said, giving him a dark glare. "Because I can."

"Tremble in fear!" Zoro said. "The man before you is a real pirate. Heart as black as the emptiness of space, hands red with blood!"

' _Daem_! I can't do it!' the gunman thought. 'I'm too weak! I don't have what it takes to be a true pirate.' With that he lowered his gun. "I give," he said.

To his surprise, the straw-hatted captain laughed loudly. "Hahahah! I was kinda worried that you'd shoot there!" he exclaimed.

"WHAT!" Nami yelled.

"Roll with it," Zoro advised her.

"Never thought this speech would come in handy," the captain said. "I heard it from Red Haired Shanks, you know?"

Usopp widened his eyes. He knew that name well, from the letters his mother had been recieving. "You've met Shanks?!"

Luffy nodded. "Some ten years ago, on Goa. You're Yasopp's kid, right? You look just like him. Except for the nose. And skin."

The half-black lad, with his fears dispelled, approached the group, opening his arms in the universal welcoming gesture. "Come! I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about it!"


	8. Usopp the Liar

**Welcome to the 8th chapter of the Legend of the Galactic Pirates. After more than a month in the making, hopefully it will have been worth the wait.**

 **I took quite some time to write this, mostly because my attention was on... other things. Playing Crusader Kings II, for the most part, specifically the After the End mod. With the brethren (aka pirates).**

 **Anyway, thanks and have fun. And by the way, my favourite part was coming up with Syrupish words.**

* * *

The self-proclaimed pirate captain led the Straw Hats into his home village of Syrup Beta Settlement - _th' Vil'ch_ , as the locals simply called it. The small settlement consisted of no more than five dozen dwelling buildings ( _cuttichis_ ), with a few barns and workshops every here and there. On the other side, two low hills could be seen. One was styled neatly into a beautiful lawn with exotic plants, with a (relatively, compared to some seen on more developed worlds) small mansion resting atop. The other, higher hill was less stylised, but had a large satelite dish built upon it.

The group of youngsters entered the worlds best - and only - inn, called _Fith_ (litterally meaning 'food' in the local language). It was small, but had a nice homey atmosphere, as expected of an establishment in a small settlement like this one. Usopp led them to an empty table - which wasn't hard to find, considering it was just after lunch - and, with the humans seated around the table and the dog under it, called the barmaid over.

" _Ellyew,_ Usopp!" she greeted, smiling kindly. She was a redhead, like Nami, but of a much paler complexion with a freckled face. Probably in her twenties (Terran years).

"Good day, Elis'bith!" Usopp answered in Common. "We're hungry, got anything?"

The barmaid used Common too, though her speech was even more accentuated than Usopp's. "Yes. You in luck, we have much leftover. It'll go to waste, less you eat it."

"Bring us all you have!" Usopp said. "My friends here are pirates who've come to see me and I need to live up to my name!"

Elis'bith shook her head, muttering something the Straw Hats didn't understand, and left for the kitchen. Soon, she returned with plates and plates of mashed potatoes, vegetables, apples and even some leftover roast beef.

"Enjoy! It's on me," Usopp declared.

Luffy didn't need to be told twice; as soon as the food was served, he dug in, devouring everything in sight and occasionally giving a few bites to Chouchou, who gratefully licked his hand for every piece recieved. The other three humans, not wanting to be left without their meals, followed suit.

"So you've met my father?" Usopp asked with a look of expectation.

"Aye," Luffy answered, his mouth still full. And he seemed to have no intention to leave it empty too long each time he swallowed. "As I said, I met the Red Hairs some ten Terran years ago. He was their gunnery chief."

"Gunnery chief?! Really?!" the young Syrupishman asked in surprise.

The captain of the Strawhats nodded. "And a good one too. Be it a cannon, a rifle or a a gun, energy, kinnetic or rocketry, he could use any of it to hit a mosquitto's leg... with it surviving."

Zoro chuckled. "Now we know where you've got your talent for marksmanship."

"If you weren't lying about that too," Nami added.

"Hey! I might have lied about the massive army, but my marksmanship is unmatched!" Usopp defended.

"We don't doubt your skill, lad," Luffy assured, staring sadly at his empty plate. "It's your hesitation to shoot someone that's the probem. Now, I'm not saying you should be ashamed of that, but if you really want to be a pirate, sometimes you'll need to take your enemies' lives."

He then turned to the waitress. "This was good! Any more?"

"Yes, sir!"

"And more beer!" Zoro added to the order.

Nami gave them a look of disapproval. "Haven't you had enough?"

" _No_."

"Nay! Don't worry, Usopp said he's paying."

"Which was a mistake on my part, I see," the youth responded.

"Anyway," Luffy said, returning to the topic at hand, "your father often talked about a son he had somewhere in this region. When I saw you, I knew it must be you."

Usopp sighed, a sad smile forming on his face. "I don't remember him much. He left when I was very young. But, any chance he has, he sends messages here, about his adventures. Coded, of course."

Luffy patted his back. "I know the feeling. I grew up without my father as well. Only managed to come in contact with him in the last two years," he said. He thought in silence for a moment. "Anyway, I had my grandfather and Shanks as my role models of masculinity. Makes you wonder how I didn't end up crazy like them, am I right guys?"

"Sure..." Nami and Zoro mumbled simultaneously.

Usopp, though, still too impressed by Luffy's verbal stand back at the landing pad, ignored their unimpressed looks. "So, what brings you to this backwater world?"

"We're in the market for a ship."

"A ship?" he asked. "Why not go to Syrup Alpha then? Not that they have any available starships, but you could comandeer one, being pirates and all."

"And fly that wreck of a pirate ship into their spaceport?" Luffy said. "Aye, that wouldn't look conspicuous at all!"

Usopp wanted to retort, but realised the pirate before him was right. "Well, you are in bad luck. The next ship that could take you off-world won't come untill the next weekend, for the Harvest Festival."

"So we're stuck here?" Zoro asked.

Usopp almost didn't want to answer that when he felt anger rising in Nami. At his eventual slow nod, she brought her fist down on Luffy's head, causing him to faceplant into his pile of mashed potatoes.

"Ow! What was that for?!" the captain gave out an annoyed whine as he raised his head again. His face was covered with mashed potatoes, but he paid no mind to it.

"Weren't you listening! We're stuck here, until this Harvest!" she yelled.

Zoro sighed. "Calm down," he said. "What's done is done." He wanted to continue, but Nami's glare conveyed that she got the message, but wasn't happy with it.

"Harvest, huh?" Luffy wondered out loud after Nami calmed down. "We saw vast fields of something while flying over here. That what you're growing?"

"Uh... Yes," Usopp said. He looked around the inn to see if anyone was listening. It was empty, so he leaned in towards the centre of the table, prompting the others to do the same. "This settlement has only one purpose," he began. "We don't have any industry and all the food and supplies are imported from Alpha.

We... The whole population works on the cannabis plantation."

For a few moments, all that could be heard was Chouchou eating under the table. It was a well known secret that there were worlds that produced the plant, for mostly recreational use. Ironically, those that grew it never got to try it; most of the produce would be shipped to the Core Sector, to Terra itself, for the orgies the Government organised for its voters, the Terran Citizens.

Even if it was produced by a non-Terran, the trade of their product was regulated by the Government. As the Better Market Law of 143 stated, 'All Republic Citizens not recognised as loyal to society (i.e. without Terran Citizenship) that are classified as mass producers (see 'Production Scale Law of 126) are obligated to sell all their produce to their Planet's governor. /.../'

"So you're a luxury producer," Luffy concluded.

"Yes," Usopp said. "As I said, we're a backwater world with just the cannabis fields. We don't even have our own internet, just that satelite dish at the communications building to connect to Syrup Alpha... with a ping of, like, two seconds. And even that works only a bit more than half a day. When we're facing away from Alpha, we're totally disconnected."

Leaning back, he took out his communicator. " _Woucha louka th' tim_ ," he mumbled. He got up quickly. "Sorry, guys, I gotta go!" With that, he grabbed his rifle and ran out of the inn, singing some native song: " _Haep' timis aen Gecko sh'nz_ -..."

"What do you think that was all about?" Zoro said after a few moments, still looking at the door.

"Don't know," Luffy answered. "Funny guy, though. If he's as good at shooting as he says he is, we could get him to join our crew." He leant back, putting his hands behind his head. "And hey, we got a free meal!"

Nami looked on for a while, before slowly asking: "Did he leave any money?"

Luffy's eyes widened. He looked at the table. There were the empty plates, glasses and even the bill (64,50 coins) the barmaid had brought with the last of the food. But no credit container or whatever physical currency Syrup used.

"Well fu-..."

Suddenly, the door opened again. Loudly. Three figures barged in. Children in their preteen years, wooden swords in their hands. In the atmosphere of the inn, Luffy noticed that their clothing, physique and hair made them resemble certain types of vegetables.

The three children slowly and carefully approached the three strangers to their planet. The looks on their faces were nervous but determined.

" _Oy! Wotchu d'ntu ur capteen_?!" they demanded, pointing their toy swords at them.

The entire Straw Hat crew, even Chouchou, gave them a blank look.

"What did they say?" Zoro asked his mates quietly.

"Don't know, I don't speak a word of the language," Nami answered loudly, so as to make it clear to the Syrupishmen.

Noting that they were definitely foreigners and didn't speak the language, the kids spoke - with great difficulty and a thick accent - in Common. "What you done to captain?!" they demanded again.

Luffy, meanwhile, wasn't too concerned with the three children, focusing on eating whatever crumbs were left on the plates. "That was some fine cuisine, wasn't it mates?"

"Cuisine?" one of the children asked.

" _Meenz fith, m'think_ ," the second explained. " _Waytchu! Duz ey minn...?_ "

Seeing fear in their eyes, Zoro decided to have some fun with the three Syrupish children. " _Si_ , your _capitán_ was quite tasty."

A moment of tense silence followed. The thre children started to shake in fear, before screaming at the top of their lungs: "AAAAH! _AE W'TCH_!"

"Don't look at me, squirts!" Nami yelled back in an offended tone. She didn't understand what they had said, but it couldn't have been nice.

After Zoro and Luffy managed to calm down from their laughter, the captain explained that they were just joking. "... and then he left in a hurry. Cheerful too," he finished explaining.

"He must've gone to the mansion," one of the children deduced.

"The mansion? What for?" Nami asked.

"To lie to lady Kaya," the second one explained

"Lie? That's not very nice!" Luffy said.

"No, not lie!" the third defended. "What's the word... _Ah yeesh_! He makes up stories to tell to her, for cheer her up. She's been... - illy? ... Sickly? - sickly since her mum 'n dad's death and captain says that helps."

Nami hummed. "Luffy. A word with you."

"Aye?"

"We should pay a visit to this mansion," she stated.

"Why? So you can steal their stuff?" Zoro said with a grunt.

"I only steal from criminals!" she defended. "Anyway, the lady must be rich, meaning she has connections. She could hook us up with a shipbuilder. Hell, she might even have a personal shuttle, or at least a skycar, to get us off this god-forsaken planet."

" _Wot'dee sai_?"

" _Ee w'shis tu lib th's gawd-fowrsook plannit_ , _m'think_."

"Oy! 's not that bad here!"

Ignoring the children's protests that their planet was great once you got used to it, Luffy answered Nami's proposal: "Good idea. Laddies! Take us to this... lady of the mansion."

Seing no other way but to comply, the three children, introducing themselves as Carrot, Onion and Pepper, took off with the crew trailing them, heading for _Maanshun_ hill, as it was called.

"So... you're Usopp's crew?" Luffy asked as they walked throuhh the settlement on the main dirt road.

"Uh... yes. Usopp's the best! Master of lies!" Carrot praised.

"Great coward too!" Pepper added proudly.

"That..." Nami started, "that sounded like praise, but the words don't match the tone."

"Oy! Don't speak badly about our captain like that! He got into secondary school on Alpha!" Onion shot back in defence.

"Few here on Beta get past primary school ed-... edu-... learning because that's all we have," Pepper added. "Only one primary, and nothing else."

They reached a tall metal fence walling the mansion's lawn. The road led through a large humbly ornamented gate with a sharp-styled letter H on it. It was locked, but no guards seemed to be around.

"This the place?" Nami asked.

"What do you think?" Zoro said sarcastically.

Luffy grinned. "Alright! Let's invite ourselves in!" he exclaimed, cracking his knuckles.

"How exactly?" Nami questioned. "It's locked. And, judging from that sign over there, I don't think we can climb it either."

True to her word, there was a sign right next to the gate. Writen both in Syrupish and Common was a warning: 'Warning! The fence has an electric current running through it! Danger of severe injury and death! PS.: Trespassers who somehow manage to enter will be fed to the hounds!'

"Don't worry!" Luffy assured. He grabbed a tree near the fence an walked a few metres downhill, stretching his arms. "Grab onto me," he ordered.

His two human crewmates hesitatingly grabbed hold of him, both of them wrapping their arms around his waist awkwardly. Chouchou trudged towards them, letting out an expecting bark.

"You stay here, Chouchou," Luffy ordered. The dog whined sadly, so the captain quickly added: "We'll be back quickly and explore the place together."

He then adressed his human companions: "Hold tight!" And with those words, he deactivated the artificial pull of his boots to the ground, causing them to be shot over the fence at a high speed. The three Syrupish children could only stare in awe at the foreigners shooting into the air with the aid of the mysterious, not to mention illegal, power of the Devil's Fruit. A couple of minutes had passed before they shook of their daze and decided to return to the village.

As the gravitational pull depleted their momentum, the three pirates started to plummet towards the ground. Luckily, their initial speed wasn't to high, so it wasn't too much of a fall. At least that's what Luffy thought of a ten metre fall. Luckily, he was there to cushion his comrades' landing.

"Harr! Perfect landing!" he exclaimed. "You two okay?"

" _Vete_ _a_ _la_ _verga_ _culero_!" Zoro groaned in response.

"I can't feel my legs!" Nami moaned. "Oh, now I do! Ow!"

"Pain is weakness leaving the body," Luffy stated as he helped them get up. "That's what gramps used to say."

"I'll have a big discussion with this grandfather of yours once I meet him," Nami declared in annoyance after slapping the captain.

The three made their way towards the mansion, walking past the garden of exotic plants that was the grounds of the property. Various species of flora could be seen, all native to tropical environments of several worlds.

Ariving at the building reminiscent of Anglian mansions from the 5th century BTC (19th century AD), they heard voices coming from the left.

" _Aen th' troll shefey sed_ : _'Daemchu, waykrr_! _Me Aengrey_!' _aen wokd aentu muh traap_ ," the first voice said. They recognised it as Usopp's. An awed exclamation followed in a timid soft feminine voice the Straw Hats didn't recognise.

Following the voices, Luffy found their speakers quickly, a little away from the main entrance. Usopp was there, leaning on a walnut tree growing by the mansion. The Syrupish youth was talking to a girl about his age who was, in her night dress, leaning out an open window on the ground floor.

"Afternoon, m'lass!" Luffy greeted, approaching the two. "Usopp," he also acknowledged his acquaintance.

"Afternoon," the girl greeted back slowly. She was a pale-skinned blonde europid, looking at the strangers with tired but curious brown eyes. She was of a somewhat thin, almost gangly figure, her body obviously tolled by poor health. "I'm not sure we've met, mister...?"

"Captain Monkey D. Luffy," the young pirate introduced himself, taking his hat off respectfully.

"He came all the way to meet me!" Usopp stated proudly.

Luffy, ignoring the sniper, continued: "My mates and I are looking for one lady Kaya."

"Well, you've found her," the girl said, letting herself get friendly with the lad. "Kaya Cherlehsdoth'r Hervsgreyw, at your service."

Luffy grinned at her. "Good. We're... adventurers... Adventurous adventurers going adventuring on an adventure... We're in the market for a ship, as it may be. Something small, sturdy and capable of holding her own in combat. You know someone who could help us?"

Kaya thought for a moment. "Well... I don't think I-..."

She was abruptly cut off by a firm voice speaking in a posh accent of Common: "I don't think you should talk to trespassers, my lady. Especially if they're offworlders."

A tall pale-faced man approached. He had black hair, a sharp europidic face and wor round glasses. His attire consisted of black pants and a suit with the symbol of the Hervsgreyw family on the left side of the chest.

"Klahadore..." Kaya adressed him. "They're not doing any harm."

The butler, Klahadore, huffed. "For now... But as soon as you have your back turned, well... I know their sort," he stated with disgust, eyeing the offworlders, as well as Usopp. "Vagabonds, thieves, murderers... They can't be trusted."

Luffy took offence, but decided to stay quiet. Something about the man didn't feel right. His face was unfamiliar to him, but he had a feeling he'd heard of him before, and not in a conversation about reliable butlers.

"I agree that I don't know these three enough to be sure, but I've known Usopp all my life," Kaya protested. "Why can't you come to terms with his being my friend?"

Klahadore shook his head. "I've told you this dozens of times, lady Kaya. 'DNA is our blueprint', as the saying goes. His father, whom I've told you of many times, is a pirate dog, a rapist and a cold-blooded killer."

"Hey!" Usopp exclaimed, anger welling up inside him. "Take that back, _waykrr_! My father's a great man!"

"Klahadore, please!" Kaya pleaded. "There's no need for you to insult his fatther."

"It's not insults, my lady, I was merely stating the sad truth. The truth that Usopp is a rape-child of an evil, lawless coward."

Usopp clenched his fists, approaching the man. It was obvious he was trying to provoke him, but his anger clouded his othervise logical mind. "That's not true! My father is a great warior of space, whom my mother loved dearly! Take it back!"

Klahadore smirked. "Go on, hit me! You know you want to. Mindless savagery is in your blood."

"Usopp, don't-..." Kaya tried to warn him, but the boy didn't listen. His fist had already connected with the butler's jaw, sending him staggering backwards. The man put his palm on the spot where he was hit.

"That's assault," he stated. "If you don't want me to call the Defence Force, you'd better leave."

Usopp wanted to say something, but was stopped by Kaya's kinf but distressed voice. "Usopp... I think under the curent circumstances it's best if you leave."

"But-..."

"Your friend is right," Luffy cut him off. "Don't get yourself into a mess you can't get out of. It tends to be bad for your health."

Usopp glared at Klahadore for a few moments, before running off, leaving the estate as quickly as possible.

"Come on, let's go," Luffy waved to his companions, the three leaving as well.

Kaya and Klahadore remained silent for a few minutes, staring in the direction the tresspassers had left in. The lady was unsure what to say. Her butler wasn't wrong to be distrustful towards strangers, but sometimes he took it to far. Especially when it came to Usopp.

"Usopp isn't a bad person," Kaya finally stated. "He's my oldest friend, why do you dislike him so?"

The butler sighed, they had had this conversation dozens of times, always ending it without conclusion, letting it pop up again and again. "People tend to take after their parents, my lady. It is better to be safe than sorry."

"Usopp wouldn't... He wouldn't hurt me."

"Maybe," Klahadore somewhat half-heartedly agreed. "But... It's been... three years? Since your father saved me from the streets, took me in? I've never been able to repay him. The least I can do now that he is deceased is take care of his daughter, keep her from harm's way. And I'm not sure lord Cherleh aproved of Usopp either"

From behind herself, Kaya could hear the door to her room open. She turned to see a butler, this one shorter than Klahadore, enter. He was also wearing a black butler's outfit. His curly white hair resembled a goat's fleece somewhat. "Is there a problem?" he asked.

"Usopp, as well as three other vagabonds, were tresspassing," Klahadore said from outside. "They were bothering lady Kaya, so I asked them to leave."

"They weren't bothering me!" the lady protested.

Klahadore gave her a look of concern, before excusing himslef. The other butler approached the saddened Kaya whose posture was hunched and face fallen. There were no tears in her eyes, just sadness.

"He's just looking out for you, you know," he stated comfortingly, putting a platter on which he had brought a pill and a glass of water on her bedside table.

"I know, Merry," she said softly. "It's just... He's so overbearing at times."

"I'll talk to him if you want," Merry suggested. He then took the glass and the pill and offered them to her "Come on. It's time to take your medicine."

* * *

"Well, that was a bust," Zoro stated as soon as they got off the Hervsgreyw estate.

"Thank you for that imput, Zoro," Nami drawled. To add to her irritation, her two comrades continued walking as if nothing had happened. "You do realise we're still stuck here? What'll we do now, oh great and mighty captain Luffy?!"

"I think I'll just do what I do best," the captain answered smugly. "Improvise." He hummed, going on to think about their options. "Let's see... We could hold the planet hostage... No, kinda counterproductive, what with how most Planets deal with hostage situations - wouldn't want the hostages to die, now would I... Build a ship maybe? No, even if we knew how, it'd still take more than 'till next weekend... Hm..."

As he went on thinking, a white blur of hair rushed towards him suddenly. It stopped in front of him, wagging its tail and hopping happily. Chouchou.

"There you are, boy!" Luffy exclaimed happily, squatting and petting the dog. "Did you miss me?" A pause followed, then realisation. "Wait, didn't I tell you to 'wait'?"

"Woof!"

"... Does either of you speak dogish?" Luffy asked.

"Wait, you don't?" Zoro asked in surprise. "Because it seemed you were perfectly capable of communicating with Chouchou when we found him."

"Well, that was just the communication of emotions," the rubber man answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the Universe. "Now, he wants to tell me something. Something specific. Relay information. Inform me of something... Nami?"

"I'm not even gonna answer that," she stated, finding the question stupid. But, when she noticed the captain's gaze, she decided to clarify: "Means no."

"I know, I know. Can't expect a cat to understand a dog."

Their question about Chouchou's message, however, soon got answered when a man of about fifty Terran years approached them. It was a tanned local whose short chestnut hair, combed neatly under a dark blue custodian helmet that had 'Syrup PDF' written upon it. He was wearing a matching-coloured trenchcoat with the markings of the Defence Force that hid a truncheon and a non-military grade laspistol.

"Say," he started, speaking in Common with the local accent, "what's all this then?"

"I deny everything," Luffy quickly stated, only to be hit on the back of his head by Nami, who adressed the man: "Can we help you, sir?"

"Perhaps you can," he said, stroking his lush mustache. "Nedd'rd Aedk'ns, captain of the Syrup Betan branch of the Syrup Planetary Defence Force," he introduced himself. "Why don't you accompany me to the station." It was a statement.

Luffy nodded. "Ach aye, officer. Lead the way."

The pirates followed the constable back to _th' Vil'ch_. Zoro questooned his captain's decision to submit to the authorities, while they were walking, but he got the reply that while they were stranded on the planet, it would be unwise to upset the authorities too much. The next thing you'd know you'd be in some dungeon of a prison or whatever the local government had. And that's only if the Terran Government didn't decide to get involved first.

The PDF captain led them to a small building, barely larger than the dwellings and built in the same style as them. It had a sign above the front door, saying ' _Syrup_ _Plannit'r Deefinze Faws_ \- Syrup Planetary Defence Force'. The group, with the dog, entered into the small lobby behind the door, which was equipped with a small desk with a computer, a weapons' stand that happened to be empty, a few cabinets, chairs and a rack that had six gas-masks hanging off it.

"Please, sit down," Nedd'rd offered politely. He sat behind the desk, taking an electric water heater out of a cabinet. "Tea?"

Having politely accepted the beverage, Luffy and his crew were quietly drinking with the officer, while Chouchou decided to lie down under the pirate captain's chair. Then the constable put his cup on the desk and punched a few commands into his computer.

"Now..." he started. "As I'm sure you're not aware, Feudal Planet Syrup has a strict policy on people entering and exiting its space. Everyone must be identified and put into the computer."

He paused to let that sink in. He probably didn't want them to think they were in trouble, Luffy deduced.

"So... Let me see your documents."

Luffy went first, rolling up his left sleve to reveal a barcode tattooed on his forearm just before the wrist, with his name and birth date (Luffy Monkey D., 5. 5. 650) written below. It was the standard identification method for Republic Citizens and not having it would land you in jail.

Having scanned it, Nedd'rd read the identity information that opened on his computer: "050506501706718, designated name Monkey D., Luffy, born on the 5th of May 650, Terran Calendar, unemployed, no residence... Everything in order?"

Recieving thd boy's nod of confirmation, he proceeded to identify the other two. With Nami (030706490401193, Chiosu, Nami, 3rd of July 649) and Zoro (111106481178181, Roronoa, Zoro, 11th of November 648) added into the system, the four humans gathered in the room continued to quietly sip their tea.

"So... What brings you to this neck of the woods?" Nedd'rd asked.

"We're going on an adventure," Luffy stated. "But we lack a ship."

"Adventure?" the constable wondered. "Where do you plan on going?"

"The Grand Line, all the way to Raftel."

Nedd'rd hummed. "You must be after the One Piece then. Pirate?"

Luffy shrugged. "Guilty... Well, I haven't commited any crimes yet, as far as the Government knows."

The constable chuckled. "I see." He sighed. "Look... We don't have much in the way of stopping you. Beta is underprotected, we have only two more PDF officers other than me. But please, refrain from commiting any crimes while you're here. Not that there's much you can do..."

"Don't worry, sir," Nami assured. "We're gonna be here 'till we can find a way off-world."

"Good..." was the PDF captain's response. "It's just that I've heard you've been hanging with that kid Usopp. Now, he isn't a bad kid per se, but he tends to be a bit of a troublemaker."

"That little _gallina_?" Zoro asked with a chuckle. "What does he do that's so much trouble?"

"Well, it starts in the morning when he runs through the village, screaming that there are pirates coming to attack. Then it goes on through the day as we recieve several complaints about him disturbing the peace. There's the graffiti painting, daily tresspassing on the mansion's grounds, the three children he's taken under his wing have taken to truancy. And, to top it off, the growing tab he's got at _Fith_. It'll be... around 250 coins now, after you've eaten with him. And, from what I hear, he isn't much better at school on Alpha. He's almost failed all of his social studies classes this school year. I heard his professors didn't exactly like his essays."

Luffy hummed. "It might be that he was born in a wrong country."

"Excuse me?" the officer asked.

"I speak from personal experience here," Luffy explained. "While I like to study history, I've never liked it as a school subject, even though I had a decent professor at school. She often told me, after reluctantly grading my essays with failing marks, that I may be a bright kid, but if I don't bow down and follow, I'll have no future in the Republic. But I never did. I couldn't."

"You believe Usopp might be similar?" Nedd'rd asked. "Well, I cannot disagree with you. I'd been a Marine for two decades, I know what it's like." He paused. "I was once asked to execute a comrade, whom I'd known since boot camp. He was in posession of a book labeled as 'hateful' - I think it was about a man protecting his family from a dominating empire that resembled our Republic too much. You see, an admiral was coming to inspect our ship and everything needed to be in order, otherwise the captain might find himself in trouble."

The officer's face changed back into one with a friendly smile as he came back from his reminiscing into reality. "But look at me ramble. I've already taken up much of your time. I have to relay these files to central command. Then I think I'm taking a nice nap."

* * *

It was a few hours later that Luffy was running around the hills around the settlement, playing with Chouchou, having left Nami and Zoro at the inn. Gecko was setting behind the horizon and Syrup Alpha's sun-lit shape was already peaking over the eastern forests. One could see the capital city of the Planet basking in the midday sun, a dozen degrees north of Alpha's equator. For the next half of Syrup Beta's day, the satellite dish would be able to connect to Alpha's network.

As he played with the dog, Luffy couldn't shake off the feeling that something bad was about to happen. It had started when he met Klahadore, the butler at Hervsgreyw mansion, and continued to bug him over the afternoon. He considered himself to be a good judge of character, and that man was hiding something. There was just something sinister about him.

He and Chouchou continued to run through the tropical forest of low treeoids. Paths were cut through the lower vegetation, probably often used by the locals to get to the plantations on the plains about a kilometre away from the settlement. 'They have plantations of 'smokedegrass', eh?' the straw hatted lad thought. 'Let's have a look...' "Chouchou! This way!"

A wide path through the forest, used by landcars from the looks of it, led them to a wide clearing, where the local product grew on a plantation stretching for kilometres upon kilometres. With a few concrete control towers and shacks built every few kilometres, the place had a well-enough-maintained feeling to it. It was functional, but not too fancy.

Luffy was broken out of his contemplative gaze upon the plantation by Chouchou's barking. He followed the dog as he ran towards the nearest control tower, which was just about seven metres high and three metres wide. Chouchou's gaze was directed at the top, the flat roof, where a dark-skinned figure was perched. It was Usopp, and he was gazing back at the dog nervously.

Luffy laughed at the sight. "Don't worry. He's just happy to have found you. I think he likes you."

Climbing up, Luffy soon sat with Usopp on the roof, Chouchou waiting patiently inside the tower. It was getting darker and darker, so they couldn't see each other too clearly. They instead directed their eyes at Syrup Alpha, which was rising pompously high up in the sky.

It was Luffy who broke the silence. "This where you've been all day?"

" _Yeesh_. People come here to work, but it's mostly abandoned. I get some time to miself."

"The kids were worried about you, you know. They said the tension between you and the butler had never got as hot as today."

Usopp sighed. "I don't trust him. He acts loyal and protective of Kaya, but... Something's off about him."

"So you've noticed it too." Luffy took his special flask out of his breast pocket on his coat and took a sip. "Want some?" he offered it to the other boy.

"He's only an arsehole to me though," Usopp continued as he accepted the flask. "Everyone else, he treats so respectfully that they will believe him, who's been living here for measly three years, over me, who was born here." He took a sip, but coughed as the liquid burned his mouth and throat. "What is this?"

Luffy laughed. "You don't want to know, just drink it quickly. And I believe your tendency to lie might be the problem."

"Lie? Me? What baseless slander is this? I'm an honourable warrior of space, like my father."

"Not yet, you're not," Luffy rebuked. "You're still a sedentary human, domesticared by your government. You know, you could-..." He stopped talking due to hearing footsteps approaching. Two people were nearing the tower, one from the village and the other from the opposite direction.

Usopp and Luffy silently observed as the two figures met under the tower. Both had torches in their hands, so their appearance was visible to the two teens. The one coming from the direction opposite of the settlement was an average-built male human of germanic origins, with an afroidic jaw thrown in the mix. His shoulder-lenght hair was hidden under a wide-brimmed blue hat. He wore red tinted sunglasses and had a beard on his chin grown and styled in the style of the Ancient Egyptians, He wore a long blue coat, open to reveal several belts going around his body, which weapons were strapped on. The other man, coming from the settlement, the two teens could recognise. Klahadore.

"Ah! Kuro, my captain, _hallyo_!" the armed stranger greeted the butler, speaking in a Michiganian accent.

From inside the tower, Chouchou's low growling sounded. However, while the teens atop it could hear it, it was just low enough for the two men under it not to detect it.

"I thought I told you I don't go under that name anymore, Jango," Klahadore answered menacingly. "Are the men ready?"

"Good to go, captain! At your command we strike, sack the village and rob that mansion lady, Keyah, was it?"

Usopp couldn't believe what he was hearing. No, actually he could. He hadn't trusted Klahadore before, knew he was up to something. This just confirmed his suspicions. But Kuro? As in Kuro 'of a Thousand Plans'?

"Idiot!" the conversation continued below, with Klahadore, no , Kuro shouting as silently as possible at Jango. "You completely misunderstood my plan. No, during the pirate raid, Kaya is to tragically die, leaving a will in which all her property is to be inherited by her loyal servant, Klahadore."

"Ah!" his subordinate exclaimed in realisation. "That why you said you'd need my hypnotism?"

"Bravo!" Kuro sarcastically applauded him. "This is to be my last job. I've had it with piracy. Why do you think I go by the name Klahadore, live amongst these peasants gaining their trust?"

Jango was at a loss for words. "You're... retiring? What about the Black Cats?"

"You'll get your reasonable share, and you can keep whatever you raid from... _th' Vil'ch_ ," Kuro said coldly, exagerating the Syrupish accent when saying the last part. "After that you're on your own. So don't fail me this one last time. Attack before dawn, once Syrup Alpha sets behind the horizon. It'll give us a whole day to execute our plan."

With that, the two parted, each leaving in the direction whence he came. As soon as they were out of earshot, Usopp growled in anger.

"That... That... _Lo d'n dowg sh't cont eed mowr waykrr_!" he cursed. "He's been abusing the Hervsgreyws' trust from the very start, I knew it!" He got up quickly and started for the way down. "I gotta warn the village that pirates are coming!"

"Have you ever heard of that story about the shepherd who cried 'Wolf!'?" Luffy asked, but Usopp couldn't hear him any more.

The straw hatted pirate sighed, climbing back into the tower and descending downstairs. "Guess I'll go. Chouchou! We're leaving."

And so, the dog, who had until then stayed prepared to pounce the two plotting pirates, followed the captain, knowing that a fight was on.

* * *

"Whoa, whoa! Kuro? As in Kuro of a Thousand Plans, captain of the Black Cat pirates?"

Nami was staring at the rubber man in disbelief, awaiting his answer. They were back at _Fith_ and the captain's report on the conversation that took place on the plantation seemed far-fetched, like something from a cheap crime film.

"Yes, Kuro as in the captain of the Cats Black, whose acts hail from his Plans of Thousand," Luffy confirmed.

"Wait, wait!" Zoro interjected. "Who's this Kuro?"

"He's one of the most nutorious pirates in the outer if not the entire Blue Sector," Nami explained. "Certainly the most cunning one. Under his guidance, his crew's once managed to steal an entire treasure convoy travelling from the Grand Line to the Core Sector without firing a single shot." She shook her head. "But not only was he captured five years ago, he was an asiat, not an europid."

"Ever heard of plastic surgery?" Luffy offered. "Surgeons out there would do anything for extra Credits." He scratched the back of his head. "I guess we'll have to ask him once we fight him."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fight?" Nami shook her head. "Against the Black Cats? Against Kuro?"

Luffy hummed thoughtfully, stroking his chin. From outside the inn they could hear Usopp being chased away by the villagers, for 'causing a comotion'. They just wouldn't believe his warning.

Suddenly, Luffy cracked one of his creepy grins.

"I have a cunning plan!"


	9. The Battle of Syrup Beta - Part 1

**Welp! Here's chapter... nine, I think. Someone was complaining that I hadn't updated in a while, so here you go. Now, to go back to my studies (but mostly to playing vidya gaems) and not updating for a few months :D**

 **But don't worry. I'll finish this story... one day. Before I die. Though, since I plan on living forever... Well, what's necessary is that I have big plans for this one. I'm still working out the details, but it'll be epic.**

 **For starters, you can go see the Galaxy map on my deviantart. Search for the user by the name EmperorVladislav and the picture 'Legend of the Galactic Pirates - Galaxy Map'. It's a bit... well, not a bit, very crudely and amateurishly made, but it should give you a rough feeling of where stuff is. For example, the Grand Line is that pointles spiraling turd in the Galactic core, reachable only via... you'll see what once we get to Reverse Mountain... or should I say 'Reverse Planet'... teeheehee.**

* * *

Meanwhile, aboard the Marine brig-class starship TSS Alcatraz, bound for Blue Sector's capital world, Mariejois...

A squad of ten Marine men-at-arms, clad in blue combat suits, helmets and a turned-on personal energy shield generator each, marched through the prisoners' deck, escorting Buggy to his holding cell, as far away from his crew as possible. The Clown's body parts were back together, but his hands were cuffed with handcuffs made from starstone, an alloy that hampered the abilities of those with Devil's Fruit DNA. They cut into his wrists, leaving light burns on his skin as he walked through a long corridor with metal doors lined on each side.

The group reached the other side of the prisoner's deck, where another man-at-arms awaited them, standing guard in front of a cell. A dimly lit room enclosed by black walls could be seen through a barred window on its metallic door.

The soldier curtly saluted the commander. "Sir!"

The commander saluted back. "Open the cell, trooper," he ordered, adding: "Hopefully this is the last pick-up we're making on the way."

The soldier nodded and turned towards a keypad by the cell's door. "Yeah, I still can't believe the captain ordered these detours, what with the cargo-..."

"Watch it, trooper!" the commander warned. "That cargo's top secret, remember?"

The trooper typed in a code that Buggy couldn't see. The door opened and the squad quickly pushed Buggy into the black cell, making him fall face-first onto the dark but clean floor. He could hear the commander spit at him, commenting: "A Social Justiciar will decide your fate, anarchist!" Then the cell was once again locked and the Marines left.

Buggy lifted himself into a kneeling position, his eyes remaining fixated on the dark metallic floor. He clutched his nose, feeling blood pour onto his hand. He knew well what awaited him, how the Republic treated his kind. He needed to get out. Preferably before the ship reached its destination.

"Clown..."

The pirate suddenly realised he was not alone. He shared his cell with someone. He lifted his gaze, his hand remaining on his nose, only to be met with the sight of the fattest woman he'd ever seen - excluding, of course, the recordings of the current Supreme Chancelor herself - sitting on the lower bunk of the cell's bunk bed.

Buggy smirked, if only slightly. "What are you in for then?" he asked as he slowly got up.

"Same as you," she answered. "How's your nose?"

"NOT A WORD ABOUT THE NOSE!" he yelled.

The woman gave no reaction to his raised voice. After a short silence, she said: "It fits you though."

"... Wha...?"

"The nose," she explained. "Makes you give off that mad, crazy vibe people asociate with pirates."

Buggy didn't know how to respond to that. So, he sat down next to the bed, pondering in silence. A potential ally had presented to him. Another pirate, a woman with a raging fire in her eyes, who was in the same situation as he. She was bulky, probably quite a tank in a fight. And she hadn't make fun of his nose... he thought she hadn't, at least.

"I'm Buggy, by the way," he said after a few minutes. "Buggy the Clown."

"I know," the woman replied with a slight grin. "I'm Iron Mace Alvida, the most beautiful maiden of the Galaxy."

"Yeah, I see that," Buggy mumbled. If she had picked up on his sarcasm, Alvida didn't show it. "So, what do you say to getting out of here?"

* * *

"Ach, here's the best position," Luffy said as he took a sip from his flask. He and Zoro had just finished bringing the Buggy Cannon - now renamed to Torcha, with an a at the end so it's known they aren't too serious - from the remains of the Little Bottom to the slope of _Saet'loyt_ hill. From here, they could target the sky above both the settlement and the mansion. Luffy was squatting, petting Chouchou, who was sitting next to him, while observing the plain stretched before him.

"You sure this plan'll work?" Zoro asked. He was leaning on the cannon, checking each of his swords carefully.

"If it doesn't, we still have plan B," Luffy assured him.

"Oh? And that is?"

"Improvisation!"

Luffy's commumicator vibrated. He took it out of his coat's pocket and patched the call through, putting it on speaker. "Captain Luffy here."

"I am Carrot," the person on the other end spoke. "The carts are where you wanted."

"Good," Luffy said. "But where's Usopp? Isn't this his communicator?"

"He said to finish here while he go warn lady Kaya."

Luffy was quiet for a few moments. "You did good. Go find a hiding place. I don't want children running around my battlefield."

He ended the call and put the device back into his pocket. "We might have a problem."

" _Por favor_?" Zoro asked.

"Kuro doesn't know we're onto his scheme," the captain explained, standing up. "With not knowing of our knowledge of his scheme, he would remain cloaked, waiting for his co-conspirators to dagger the target. However, with not not knowing that we are in the know..."

He paused his explanation, probably for dramatic effect, but just as he was about to continue, he noticed Nami approaching them, holding something in her hands.

"Ah, Nami! Any trouble?" Luffy asked, taking another sip from his flask.

"Pff! Trouble? Please!" the navigator said smugly. She tossed one of the objects she was carrying to the captain, then another to Zoro.

Zoro observed the object in his hand. "Do you think these gas-masks will work?"

"They should," Luffy said, eyeing the one in his hand. "Usopp said the local PDF got them after a great fire that engulfed both the plantation and the settlement."

"Speak of the devil..." Nami said, loooking in the direction of the mansion. Usopp was running towards them, a fallen look on his face.

"I take it she didn't take the news well?" Luffy asked when the Syrupishman reached them.

Usopp was still out of breath. He struggled to orally form sentences. "She... wouldn't... she..."

"Slow down, Usopp," Luffy said. He offered him his flask. "Take a deep breath and a sip, then tell us what happened."

Usopp raised his hand, declining the drink. He steadied his breathing, then spoke: "Kaya didn't believe me. I got into her room through her open window and woke her up. I told her what we'd witnessed, Luffy. But she thought it was another one of my lies. Only this time, she was not amused."

"I'll bet," Nami said. "She seems to trust her butler a lot."

"She told me to stop lying," Usopp continued. "that my dislike of Klahadore was no excuse for such accusations. She wouldn't believe me and hide. So, I tried to forcefully take her to safety."

Luffy winced. "Bad move..."

"She started to scream for help and Merry heard her. He walked into her room just as I was pulling her through the window. He drew a gun from his uniform and told me to release Kaya, who continued trying to get free. I tried again to make her understand Klahadore was Kuro... But she punched me in the face, making me release her."

"Ooh..."

"With Kaya free of me, Merry started firing shots, so I ran..."

"Did Kuro see you?" Luffy asked as soon as Usopp finished.

"No, I don't think so."

Nami pondered this. "Even if he didn't, Merry will tell him about this and our element of surprise will be wasted."

Usopp facepalmed. " _Bawloecs_ , you're right! I didn't think of this when I went to Kaya's rescue!" He started to shake in fear, lamenting rather loudly: "We're doomed! Doomed!"

He felt a sharp pain in his cheek as Luffy slapped him. The pirate captain then grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him roughly. "Snap out of it Usopp!" he ordered. "Remember the sacred motto of all space travellers: 'Don't panic!'"

Usopp stared into Luffy's eyes, which were burning with passion. His charismatic aura radiated like the most luminous stars. Yet Usopp lowered his gaze, closing his eyes in shame.

"I can't do it," he said quietly, with a defeated voice. "I'm no warrior. I'm a coward. A weak, defenceless coward." He continued to stand in his slumped pose, with Luffy's hands still on his shoulders. He was so ashamed. 'I should just stop lying to myself,' he thought. 'I'll never be a great-...'

"Oh, boo-hoo!" the straw-hatted pirate interrupted his thoughts. "You think anyone cares!? No one does, and no one will do shit about it! Not that they have the obligation or anything..." Usopp stared at Luffy, whose gaze had hardened into that of a quartermaster disciplining his crew. "You are at a crossroad now, Usopp. You can either stay what you are, a sheep complaining about his position but doing nothing about it. Or, you can suck it up, face your weaknesses and hit them in the cock till they die. You are the only one who can improve yourself. You owe it to yourself."

The scene was a sight to behold. Luffy, standing proud and tall before an awed Usopp, explaining the very basis of his world views, with Zoro and Nami in the background, their spirits visibly rising. It was like something straight out of a film.

"So, what'll it be?" Luffy asked. "Do you chose oblivion, or will you pass the rim of the sky... damn, that figure of speech was terrible..."

Usopp clenched his teeth. Who'd say no after that kind of a motivational speech. " _Bawloecs_... I guess we're doing this..."

Luffy grinned. "That's the spirit! Now, where were we before Usopp almost had a nervous breakdown... Ah yes!" He turned to Chouchou. "Chouchou, go to the mansion and wait there. If you see the evil butler coming our way, come straight back to us."

"Woof!" the dog barked but didn't move. Luffy stared at the dog for a few moments before repeating the order.

"Come on, you didn't have a problem waiting there yesterday afternoon!" Luffy raised his voice.

Chouchou whined defiantly.

"Oh come on! Didn't you hear that great motivational speech I gave just now!?"

"Arf!"

Luffy sighed. "A big tasty sausage to the good dog who fulfills that order..." he said with a defeated voice.

As the dog went into a quick run towards the mansion, Luffy noticed the other three teens barely holding their laughter. "Not. A. Word," he threatened.

"Oh, I'm not saying anything," Usopp asured. "Pffff!"

"Man, fighthounds are so smart they're almost like humans, greed and all," Nami commented.

"I guess you're an expert on that trait..." Zoro mumbled.

"Anyway..." Luffy cut in. "Dawn is almost upon us, lads. The time of the attack draws near like... like... The time draws near. If my plan works, and to be honest, these things usually go wrong, we will be able to win without fighting so Sun Tzu himself would have been proud. However, on the off chance that this thing goes like things like these usually go, we might actually have to - a crazy thought, I know - fight. So, what are our strong points when it comes to the delicate and gentle arts of combat? Mine is hand-to-hand."

"Well, mine is swordsmanship, obviously," Zoro stated.

"Sneaking and thievery," Nami said.

"Retreating," Usopp went last.

"Usopp... You want another slap?! Or a punch this time?!" Luffy threatened.

"Sniping!" Usopp quickly corrected himself.

"Better. You said yesterday you created all sorts of rounds for your railgun. Explosive, disruptive to electronics..."

"Uh, yes. Why?"

"I wonder... Do you happen to have any... incendiary rounds?"

"Incendiary?"

"Aye, means they set shit ablaze on impact."

"Yes, I know what incendiary means! And yes, I do happen to have some, but what do you need them fo-..." Usopp paused for a few moments as realisation hit him. "Right. The carts."

Luffy nodded. "Exactly. Once the pirate ship is shot down, I'll need you to be ready to shoot those carts. I'll call the kids to tell them you need your communicator back."

After getting Usopp's communicator, the four went into the settlement. Everything was quiet and dark. With no street lights, the entire colony was completely asleep, even the local PDF officers. They slowly got to the very centre of the dark settlement, where a dozen metal carts on wheels were waiting. They were filled with something and covered with pieces of cloth which were tied tightly to them, preventing the contents from falling off.

"Well, I hope harvesting the stuff half the night was worth it," Zoro stated.

"We had enough rest, we'll be fine," Luffy answered. He looked to the west, where Syrup Alpha was slowly disappearing behind the horizon. A few more minutes and the planet's communications would be completely cut off.

"Alright," the captain said. "It's almost time. Usopp! I want you to run through the village and wake everyone up. You'll do this by screaming a lie, like you usually do, only this time the lie will be that no pirates are coming."

"Wait, I don't-... Oh! You mean, since I'm known as a liar..."

"... the people'll see something's wrong," Luffy finished. "Once you're sure everyone's heard you, you'll meet me by the Torcha - that's our cannon, by the way - where we'll get ready to shoot down the pirate ship. When they crash... well, we'll see where they'll crash, but until then I can't plan anything specific. But you know the rest, right?"

"Yes," Usopp stated.

"Uh, yeah," Nami said.

"No," Zoro said. "Oh wait, I understand, yes," he quickly corrected himself.

Luffy grinned. "Good. Nami! I want you to connect your communicator to these carts. Once the ship has crashed, I'll tell you where to drive them."

The thief nodded. "Will do."

"Zoro! ... Zoro, Zoro, Zoro. We'll have to get you a communicator, won't we?"

The swordsman shrugged. "I've never needed one."

"You'll need one if we want to be well coordinated. For now, just follow Nami, I'll meet you at the crash site."

" _Si_ , _capitán_!"

They were silent for a few moments. Syrup Alpha was almost behind the horizon and the first rays of Gecko's light were starting to appear over the eastern horizon.

"... Well stop starring like idiots. Chop, chop! Go on!" Luffy said, waving them off with his hands.

Usopp ran off immediately, screaming that no pirates were coming. Nami, however, wasn't so impressed. "And what'll you be doing while we get everything ready?"

Luffy gave her a smile. "Getting some necessities we're still missing."

And so, all took off to fulfill their tasks. While Nami, with Zoro, took care of the carts, Luffy walked northwards, towards the _Fith_ place. With Usopp's yelling, the settlement was starting to wake up. By the time Luffy reached the inn, people had started to get out of their houses to see what was going on. He paid them no mind, though, as he entered the establishment.

By the time he emerged from _Fith_ again, a heavy-looking bag slung over his shoulder, the entire population of Syrup Beta was on the main road. Some were demanding Usopp, who was already gone, give them an explanation, others were already speculating what realy was going on, a small group wanted to beat him up for waking them up - like every morning - and a bunch were there just to see how the situation would play out.

The local PDF captain was trying to calm the crowd down, with the help of two other PDF officers. But from his expression, it was obvious that he, as well, desired to know what was going on. Once he saw Luffy leaving the inn, he immediately turned his attention to him.

"Say, what's all this then?!" he asked loudly, enough to be heard over the anxious crowd.

The pirate approached the man, reajusting the bag slung over his shoulder, causing it to emmit clinking sounds. "I think it's fairly obvious, officer: imminent pirate raid approaches and Usopp is trying to warn you about its approach... and imminence... plus that it's a pirate one, too."

"Usopp?" Nedd'rd asked. "With respect, mr. Monkey D., Usopp is known to spread lies in hopes of getting attention."

Luffy chuckled. "With respect back at you, sir, Usopp is known to lie. Full stop. Is that not right?"

The officer stayed silent, staring at the pirate with an unreadable expression. Then, he nodded firmly. "I see." He turned to his colleagues. "F'tzgerold, Haardcaassul, _git th' c'veelyunz tu th' shellturr-plaes_."

The two PDF officers affirmed and started shouting something to the crowd, getting them to listen. A few gasps and words of protest could be heard, but in the end they calmed down and prepared to leave the settlement. Nedd'rd sighed, turning back to Luffy, looking like he wanted to say something. Then, he left with the Betans without a word.

Without hesitation, the straw-hatted teen made his way back to the lascannon, where Usopp was already waiting for him. Syrup Alpha had already disappeared behind the horizon. The attack was about to commence.

Usopp was trying out the gun, testing how to move it around with its provided computer. "Are you sure this'll work, Luffy?" he asked.

"Usopp," the lad said. "I have no idea."

Suddenly, a loud rumble could be heard, sounding through the air like a raging set of consecutive explosions. The teens looked to the east, only to see a starship flying through the dark night sky. She swiftly approached the settlement, growing more and more menacing each second. She was a frigate, a fairly large class of starship, 200 metres in length and 23 in height and width in the standard Republic design of an upside-down seaship. She was black and red, with the figurehead on the ram shaped like a cartoonish cat's head. As she approached, the jolly roger of the Black Cats became distinguishable, a cat's skull and crossbones, along with her name enscribed on her hull: Bezan Black.

"Well, there's the target, Usopp," Luffy said, his eyes on the ship. When the other lad didn't respond, the captain looked to him, only to see him staring at the ship in fear.

'Holy shit!' Usopp thought. 'That thing is enormous! 200 pirates could be aboard her. 200 against the four of us! We can't defeat that! We're-...'

His train of thought was interrupted when Luffy sharply slapped him on the back of his head. "Usopp. The cannon. Any moment now, if it's all the same to you."

"R-right."

The ship was now above the settlement, hovering around above it. She fired a few shots from her depths side cannons, setting a couple of houses ablaze. She continued to rain fire on the village, but luckily, everyone had been evacuated.

Meanwhile, Usopp was working the Torcha, controling it through a provided computer to take aim at the starship. "Alright, Usopp, bring it down!" Luffy exclaimed and the other lad opened fire with the lascannon at the starship. The pirates weren't expecting any resistance from below, so their energy shields were turned off to save energy, leaving the ship exposed. Usopp's shot hit her right in the thrusters, causing her to shake and list. As the laser beam continued to hit the ship, she started to fall, flying off uncontrolablly. She spun and spun in the air, before finally crashing on the planet's only landing pad.

Usopp looked on in awe, before cracking a smile. "Whoah! I... just... took... down... a... frigate."

"That, Usopp, you did. Now for the hard part." Luffy took out his communicator. "Nami! The landing pad. Go, go, go!"

"Got it!"

Luffy cracked his knuckles. "Alright, let's get into position.

* * *

Merry was an early riser. Well, that's a given, considering he was a butler. Every morning, he got up a little before sunrise to start his daily tasks. This particular morning was quite similar. After chasing Usopp, who had rudely barged into the lady's room, off, he went on to do his morning tasks, all the while thinking on the event that had transpired. As the time Syrup Beta Settlement was about to be evacuated, he was busy drawing the curtains. At every window, he took some time to gaze outside, to admire the early pre-sunrise scenery.

His mind was well away from the beautiful scenery though. His thoughts dwelled on Usopp's actions. The boy might have been a bit of a troublemaker, but he'd never meant any harm. And, while he was at odds with Klahadore, as far as Merry knew, Usopp would never take his lying that far. And for him to get forceful with Kaya? They'd been friends since they were little kids, for crying out loud!

In the entrance hall he ran into his colleague, Klahadore. Merry, while finding the man a bit cold, held much respect for him. He was hard-working, precise and very protective of lady Kaya, the very reason for his conflict with Usopp. But on this particular morning, he looked tense, with a dark look in his eyes.

"Morning, Klahadore!" Merry greeted him as he came down the stairs.

The other buttler didn't look at him, neither did he greet back. He just stared off into space, his thoughts hidden behind an emotionless mask. "Didn't I tell you Usopp meant trouble?"

Merry went to the window left of the door to uncover it. "What do you mean?"

"He came over earlier, didn't he?" Klahadore explained. "I heard shouting, then shots. What did he want now?"

Merry went to uncover the window right of the door. "He claimed you were Kuro of a Thousand Plans, that you were planning to kill her," Merry explained. "He's gone nuts, I tell you, nuts."

Kuro hummed. "Nuts? He's always been nuts, that boy."

The doorbell rang. Both butlers turned towards the door. "I wonder who that might be," Merry said, starting for it, Klahadore following. Merry opened the door to be met with one of the local PDF officers.

" _Sawreygh t' enturrowpt_ , _vut yee havta yewaq'weit_!" he said as soon as the door opened. The young man, no more than thirty years old, was clearly in a hurry.

"Evacuate?" Merry asked. "What's the meaning of this, sir?"

" _Pirateys_ , _pirateys 're acumm'n tu raed_!"

"Pirates?" Merry questioned. "What would they want with Syrup Beta? We're mere farmers, by the Lord, we just grow the grass!" Just then, something clicked inside his brain. He suddenly realised the answer to what he was wandering about earlier. But it was too late.

Just as he was about to turn to face Klahadore, he felt a searing pain in his back as four blades cut into his skin. The butler fell to the ground face-first, loosing his senses for a moment due to the pain. H partiallye regained them for a moment, only to hear the scream of the PDF officer just before they were cut off as he, too, was cut down.

"Klahadore... Why?" were his last words before he lost consciousness.

* * *

"Alright, I'm here!" Luffy exclaimed, putting the bag on the ground with a series of clinking noises. He had just arrived to where Nami and Zoro were, the top of the hill above the planet's landing pad, over which the road to the settlement led. Before them on the landing pad, was the crashed Bezan Black. She was dented, battered and here thrusters were smoldering. It still looked in functional shape, though, compared to the much smaller Little Bottom, or what remained of it, a few paces away from it.

Atop the hill, the carts were lined up, ready to be pushed downhill. Nami and Zoro were standing there, Zoro mentally preparing himself for battle silently and Nami scanning the area, looking for ways to sneak about efficiently. When Luffy came, she turned to him, asking: "And what's in the bag?"

Luffy grinned. "Just a few necessities, of course!" He opened it and started unloading bottles on the ground. "A thousand-year-old recipe. Molotov's mix. The inn happened to have the necessary ingredients - they also stored liquid fuel for landcars." He stopped at one bottle and starred at it. It was a bottle of fine Syrupish whiskey. "Oh, and this one's for courage. Want some?"

Nami gave him an incredulous stare. "What, before battle? No thanks!"

The captain shrugged his shoulders. "Suit yourself. Zoro?"

"Hm? What?"

"Some whiskey?"

"No, never before battle."

"Fine. Your loss." With those words, Luffy opened the bottle and promptly downed it whole. He whiped his mouth in the sleeve of his coat with a hiccup, then smashed the bottle against his face. "A'right! Let 'em come, the basterds!"

Just as he uttered those words, a hatch opened in the hull of Bezan Black and pirates started to pour out. The bulk of them gathered facing the defending army of three - Usopp was safely hidden somewhere in the forest - from the bottom of the hill, Jango at their front.

"Ye 'ave landed, pirates!" Luffy shouted from the top of the hill. "But this is as far as ye'll get!"

The pirates didn't let themselves be intimidated. "Who do ya think you are!" Jango shouted back.

Luffy smirked. "I'm glad ye asked! Everyone!" And with that, he started to sing:

"Ya-yoh-yaa-yohhh!

Dreamin'! Don't give it up, Luffy!

Dreamin'! Don't give it up Zoro!

Dreamin'! Don't... give... uh!"

He soon realised that no one was singing along with him. He looked at his two crewmates with a questioning gaze. "Ye... Ye were s'pposed ta sing too."

"No, captain, we're not doing that," Nami said, crossing her arms.

"But... But it could be our song. Is catcheh... and... and..."

"Silly," Zoro finished for him. "It's catchy, I'll give you that. But... not exactly high poetry."

The Black Cats, waiting at the bottom of the hill, decided to rudely interrupt the discussion about Luffy's artistic talents and attack, with Jango ordering: "Charge, you guys!"

Hundreds of feet started to move, rumbling uphill towards our brave heroes. Charging up the hill, the raging mob passed their commander, brandishing their swords, firing shots in the air and screaming a colourful palette of profanities.

"How rude," the straw-hatted teen mumbled, before raising his hand. "Push those carts!"

On cue, Nami pressed the screen of her communicator and the carts started to move, travelling downhill at somewhat running speed. The Black Cats slowed down their charge at the unexpected development, observing the objects approaching them.

"Usopp!" Luffy yelled into his communicator. Not a moment later, a shot, coming out of nowhere at a supersonic speed, hit one of the carts, igniting it, and others soon followed. Smoke rose from the carts as the cloth covering them burnt down, revealing heaps of the local produce.

"Masks on!" Luffy said and he, Zoro and Nami put gas masks on. The spreading smoke had already enveloped the Black Cats, with them inhaling the intoxicating subsatnce. A few of them tried to cover their faces with gas-masks of their own, but failed miserably as the smoke already filled their lungs.

It is a well known fact that THC and other compounds present in cannabis leaves have slightly different effects on each person that consumes them. In adition to the increased heart rate and the consequent faster blood flow, the nervous system is affected in ways that alter one's perception. Some users experience dizziness, lack of motivation, bliss or anxiety, others increased perception, euphoria, slower reaction time or increased appetite and, in rare cases, some people even experience hallucinations. What is common to all users is that the psychoactive effect, the so called 'high', comes almost imediately after consumption.

Now picture a mob of pirates, all from different psychological backgrounds, experiencig this high. The Black Cat crew was turned into a gibbering mess of befuddled buffoons. Some got sidetracked by particles of smoke getting dispersed by the wind, others by admiring their weapons. Some got dizzy and decided to lie down by those who got hit by some of the carts and lost the motivation to get up.

"Tired. Sleep."

"I never noticed this ornament on my sword!"

"Shh! Mah noggin 'urts!"

"Should we go on chargin'?"

Zoro and Nami stared at the scene before them. They had expected that Luffy's idea would somewhat weaken the attackers, but for it to be this effective.

"That... worked... _Dios mío_..."

"Don' dance yer victoreh dances just yet!" their captain warned with his signature grin. "Now... Step two: permanentleh disable tha mob by disarming and/or incapacitating them. Forwaaard march!"

Taking his pistols into his hands, Luffy started marching towards the disoriented mob, his two companions following. He threw a few bottles of 'Molotov's mix' at them, setting a few of them ablaze. Then he took out his pistols. Usopp took a few down as well, from his safely hidden position. Once the group of three youngsters made it to the severely stoned mob, the pirates had already noticed them and started to fight back. Or, at least, try to. They found themselves slashed, punched with a gun and kicked. Some realised only too late that they were missing their weapons. One by one, they fell, unable to truly fight in their state.

Jango watched this from afar. He hadn't expected any resistance at all, but now he was seeing the entire crew of the Black Cats be beaten down with ease, by a mere handful of defenders no less. This wouldn't do.

"Guys! Look over here!" he shouted. He pulled out a ring tied to a rope and began to swing it left and right. "Take a good look at the ring. Follow its movement," he said in a calming voice. "Now, when I say 'One, two, Jango!' you will no longer feel high, and you'll fall into a trance of fury and kill those bastards."

The crowd stared as the pendulum swung left. "One, ..."

Nami and Zoro averted their gaze, so as to not get hypnotised. "... two, ..."

Luffy, however, had another idea. "... Jango!"

With that simple word, the pirates went insane, crying a battlecry of pure bloodthirsty terror, raising their weapons high up in the air. But before they could butcher their enemies like animals, bottles of Molotov's mix started hitting them, seemingly flying from all directions.

That was Luffy's doing. He was running around them, foaming at the mouth, screaming incoherent profanities as he brutally attacked the hypnotised mob of pirates while hypnotised himself. When he ran out of bottles, he charged at them, his eyes filled with malicious intent. That alone was enough to break Jango's hypnosis as primal instincts, as old as life itself, kicked in instead. 'Get the fuck out of here!' is what their brains said. And the Black Cats didn't need to be told twice.

"RUN LIKE HELL!"

And run like hell, they did. Within an instant, all was forgotten. The attack, the burning leaves of cannabis, Jango's hypnosis... The only thing on the mind of the raging mob was to run and hide. Their weaponry was left with their fallen comrades as they stampedoed downhill, like a terrified herd of wild cattle.

The threat to their well-being was not going to let them escape though. "COME BACK HERE! I'LL SLAUGHTER YE ALL! I'LL TURN YE INSIDE OUT, I'LL DRINK RUM OUT OF YER SKULLS! I'LL KILL YE AND I'LL KEEP KILLING YE... AND THEN I'LL STOP 'CAUSE YE'LL ALL BE DEAD!" Luffy screamed at the top of his lungs, sprinting after the object of his rage. However, it was not tobe. In his blind fury, he failed to pay attention to the terrain he was walking on, namely a crack in the road. He tripped, falling face-first onto the road.

Zoro and Nami, as well as Usopp, from afar, observed the young captain. He was unmoving for a few moments, with no continuation to his rage. Then, a few seconds later, he slowly got up, gruntingly. He dusted his coat and spat out a bit of blood. "Ach! I bit me tongue."

"Sooo... that just happened..." Nami commented.

'This bloke's mad,' Usopp thought.

"What now?" Zoro asked. "Do we continue the battle, or..."

Before anyone could answer, though, a voice was heard from behind the Straw Hat crew. "Could someone kindly explain to me what is going on?!" There, approaching them slowly, walked Klahadore, or should I say Kuro, with a scowl on his face. His buttler uniform was slightly bloodied and he wore a glove on his right hand. A glove with a knife on each finger.

The (retiring) captain of the Black Cats took in the sight before him. The slope before him was littered with bodies of his men, unconscious, wishing they were unconscious or dead, as well as half, burnt carts of the produce. The rest of his crew were by the ship, unarmed and cowering in fear behind Jango. And they had been stopped by the three offworlders standing before him. The orange-haired girly, the wandering pirate hunter and the child with a straw hat. A rather familiar straw hat at that. Kuro didn't doubt that that good-for-nothing Usopp was somewhere nearby as well.

"Captain!" Jango greeted, trying to sound cheerful. "Man, am I glad to see you. We were just dealing with this unpredicted-..."

"That was a rhetorical question, dimwit!" Kuro cut him off, glaring at him menacingly. "Of course I know what is going on! You, an entire crew, are getting completely obliterated by a handful of children, who are outnumbered by you by a more than considerable margin. It is disgraceful, I tell you, disgraceful. You were right to try to stop me from retiring, Jango. For I see now that the Black Cats won't survive without me."

"Well, uhh... captain-..."

"No, let me finish! It seems to me that you need some motivation. So here it is: if these children aren't dead within the next five minutes, I'm sterilising every single one of you. Starting right-..."

"Woof! Woof!"

Chouchou cut him off, running past Kuro towards Luffy. The young pirate looked blankly at the dog, refusing his plead to be petted.

"Gee, thanks for the warning, Chouchou," Luffy grumbled at him. "What part of me order didn't ye understand!?"

"Bark!"

"No, don't talk back at me! And don't even think about that sausage I promised-..."

"Well?" a voice interrupted him. "Would someone mind telling me what the bloody hell this is supposed to be or did I follow that dog for nothing?" That was constable Nedd'rd, standing behind Kuro, holding a rifle.

"Oh, morning officer!" Luffy greeted. "Just a wee battle we're having here!"

"Civilians having a battle? On my planet? That doesn't sound legal if you ask me," the officer commented.

"I'm not sure it is, sir," Luffy answered.

"Would you mind if I joined?"

The sraw-hatted pirate grinned widely. "The more, the merrier!" He then directed his attention back at Kuro. "Now, where were we? Ye were saying something about killing yer entire crew, right?"

Kuro had been standing there the whole time, glaring, for he had been very rudely interrupted indeed. "That is correct, straw hat. There's only... two minutes left."

"WHAT!? WE WERE ALREADY COUNTING?! SHIT!" Jango yelled. "Uhh... Sham! Buchi! We need you guys! And this concerns you two too!"

On his order, two pirates disembarked from the Black. Looking like your regular comedy duo - one short and round and the other tall and lanky - they were both armed with gloves similar to Kuro's. Both were also wearing cat-themed outfits, playing into the feline theme the Black Cats had going for them.

"Prrhhh! Behold, for it is us!" the lanky one announced. "Sham..."

"... and Buchi!" the fat one finished. "We are..."

"... THE SUPER NYABAN BROS!" they finished.

"Super Nyaban Bros?" Nami commented with an unimpressed voice. "I'll bet it's trademarked too?"

"You called, Jango?" Sham asked.

Jango pointed at their enemy, standing on the top of the hill where the last smoldering remains of the produce remained, burning out amongst the bodies of the fallen. "Kill them! You have two minutes!"

"One and a half," Kuro corrected, eyeing the PDF officer, who still had his rifle fixed at the retiring captain.

"With pleasure, sir!" Buchi exclaimed. Then, they both started charging uphill, screaming. But it wasn't a battlecry. Rather, it was a cry of fear, which was also reflected on their faces.

"I don't get it," Zoro stated. "They afraid, or...?"

"Doesn't matter," Luffy stated. "Take care of these pussies for me, would ye Zoro."

"I thought you'd never ask!" Zoro unsheathed two of his swords and got into a defensive stance, waiting for the Nyabans to reach him. They still looked scared as they charged uphill. "Come at me, cowards!"

"Something's not right," Nami muttered. Then, realising something, yelled: "Watch out! It's a trap!"

"Ah?" Zoro reacted, but the attackers were already in reach. Immediately when they reached him, the scared expressions were gone, replaced with mad grins. They attacked simultaneously, with Zoro barely having enough time to deflect their blows. That, however, didn't matter, for they were wearing bladed gloves on both hands. Zoro had to react fast, for both his foes slashed again immediately after the first attack.

With two oponents against him, Zoro truly demonstrated a high level of skill and tactical thinking. Not only was he able to keep both his foes from even touching him, he was also capable of predicting their subsequent moves, being ready for their attacks before they even innitiated them. However, he the fight was still two against one. To gain an advantage over them, Zoro knew he would have to use all three swords. But to unsheathe the third sword, he'd have to let his guard down.

Cursing himself for underestimating the Nyabans, Zoro, having deflected yet another set of attacks, decided to take the gamble. He reached for the third sword quickly. But he was not quick enough. Just as he was drawing it, the brothers struck again. In an attempt to shield himself, Zoro brought his two swords into a clumsy position, close to each other, to block Sham's attack. Buchi used this and hit the swords at the hilt, knocking them out of Zoro's hands.

"Hah! Now you die, swordsman!" Sham exclaimed as both he and his brother followed up with their next attacks, both aiming for his neck

Clang!

Zoro drew his third sword in the last milisecond, managing to block the doubtlessly fatal blow. "Not so fast, _bastartos_! I still have one sword!"

"Ha! But against the two of us?! You were keeping up before, but with just one sword..." Buchi attacked while Sham took the two swords and threw them towards the rest of the Cats before joining his brother.

"Oh, this ain't good!" Nami said. The battle truly wasn't going in their favour any more.

"Indeed," Luffy agreed. "He'll lose if we don't help him."

"Oh, don't you dare!" Zoro shouted, still battling the Nyabans. "This is my fight! Go find your own!"

Nami sighed. "Figures..."

Luffy hummed. "Nami, ye're good at nicking stuff, right? Go get Zoro's swords back from those scaredy-cats! Get it? Scaredy-..."

"What?! There's way to many of them, and they are already aware of my presence! I'm good but not that good!"

"And I'm not good enough to fight those two and Kuro simultaneously. And since there's only, like, a minute left-..."

"Thirty seconds," Kuro corrected him."

"... thity seconds. We'll someone's going to have to fight him. And I'm itching to do it." He paused. "Besides... Usopp will provide cover fire. Officer Aedk'ns too."

"I shall?" the officer asked in surprise.

"Let me put it this way, sir: when was the last time you fought?"

"Well... not since I left the Marine... I might be a tad bit out of practice."

"Do you think you could fight a martial artist like Kuro here?"

Nedd'rd thought for a few moments. "I'll cover Nami," he agreed, taking his rifle off Kuro and running after Nami, who was already on her way.

Luffy reajusted his hat, letting a shadow dramatically cover his eyes. He cracked his knuckles and spat on the ground. "And I'll deal with Freddy Krueger here."


	10. The Battle of Syrup Beta - Part 2

**Here's the second part of the battle. I don't know when the next chapter will come out, as it will be an original story, by me of course, in which they'll be recruiting a new crew member, again, characrer by me, with a few strong hints at what kind of world they live in.**

* * *

 _It was supposed to be a regular raid. Appear out of nowhere, disable the defenses, land, pilage the vilage, get out. Kuro's plans have always gone smoothly, but this time? This time, it seems, our captain didn't account for every variable, like he usually does._

 _I was on the engineering deck when it happened. Just a few moments after beginning our attack, the ship shook, several tubes in the chamber exploded and equipment went to shit. I looked at my monitor. The thrusters were fried, as well as our graviton manipulator, meaning our stabilisation above the ground was impossible._

 _Next thing I remember is wild tossing about as our ship went left, right, up, down as what remained of the thrusters pushed it around the sky. I held on tightly to the railing next to me, praying to the Universe not to let me die then and there. After all, I still had to return with 'vast riches' to her._

 _My prayer was answered. Or not. Anyway, I survived the crash. Next thing I know, Jango's ordering everyone to leave the wounded and get out to attack. And that's what we did. And boy did it turn out swell. We got gased, drugged, beat, cut, shot and stabbed, by a mere handfull. One could say we had our hands full with them. Heh._

 _Anyway, things really went to hell in a handbasket when that Jango tried to hypnotise us into a savage rage, but instead infuriated our enemy. I tell you, it's not great to feel your arm burning. And I got offeasily._

 _And now we're all by the ship, hoping that those Nyaban fellas get those bastards, because if they don't, captain will kill us all, or worse. Yeah, not the finest day of my life._

"Fraternelli, for fuck's sake, stop writing in that diary of yours and let me heal ya!"

"Uh?... Mhm."

True to Fraternelli's words, the pirates were in a tight spot. They had huddled to their ship, lying down and letting the crew's medical team tend to the wounded. All the while, they kept their attention on the fight happening before them. The Nyban Bros were fighting Zoro, the Demon Swordsman, and kept him at a great disadvantage. He had to fight both of them with just one sword and the Nyabans used that to keep him in the defensive stance, not leaving him even a moment to deliver an offensive move.

Meanwhile, Nami was sneaking through the bushes, approaching the pirate band lying by their ship. Nedd'rd walked towards them using the road and was preparing to shoot at them, to draw their attention onto himself, so that Nami would be able to get Zoro's swords back.

Usopp was on the job too, changing his position to get a better aim. This had most certainly been the most adrenaline-filled day of his life. More so than the day when he flew to Syrup Alpha to start his first year at Waddsworth Secondary School, or that time when he drew grafitti on the PDF station, or even when he and Kaya snuck out at night, right under Klahadore's nose.

Kuro himself was still standing in the same spot, his expression emotionless and menacing. The given time had run out but he hadn't started his attack yet. He was busy staring down the root of the problem, the enemy leader. He was but a lad in a red frock coat and a straw hat. And yet he had stopped his entire raiding party? 'Just goes to show that one shouldn't trust grunts,' the man of a thousand plans thought.

"Might I learn the name of my adversary?" he said.

The lad grinned. "Captain Monkey D., Luffy! Leader of the Straw Hat Republic and the next Pirate King!"

Kuro couldn't hold a laugh. "You, Pirate King? Be glad Gold Roger isn't alive to hear his title used in vain." He adjusted his glasses. "It doesn't matter anyway. You'll soon be pushing up the dasies."

"Nay, I don't think so!" the youth shot back. "I'm not much of a gardener."

Kuro frowned. "It's an idiom."

"You're the idiom!" Luffy answered , thinking: 'Man, I am so good at comebacks!'

Kuro stared at him blankly. "There's just no reasoning with you, is there?"

"Coming from a guy ready to kill his men simply for failing his plan due to YER failing to make a contingency plan... those words are a compliment."

Kuro scoffed. "Even a genius such as I could never predict that an entire crew could be stopped by a mere handfull of kids."

"Speaking of genius... How did ye get to escape the Government?" Luffy asked. "It was the news of the week for each planet it reached: 'Getting caught was never part of his plan - Kuro captured, sentenced to death'."

"Ah, one of my most brilliant moves, that one," the man of a thousand plans answered smugly. "I had Jango hypnotise this Marine petty officer we'd captured, Morgan or something, into believing that his comrade, another Marine, was myself and that he'd captured him. Then we sent him off, stopped conducting raids and voila - the Government was convinced he was me. He hung and the officer was promoted."

"Huh. I knew there was something off about that captain," the younger captain commented. "But this still leaves me with one question. Why abandon the pirate's life? Why settle down, leave the freedom, the thrill and adventure behind?"

"Why? Look around! We are a dying breed, Straw Hat. Governments all around the Galaxy are cracking down on us. The Four Galactic Superpowers each want to establish their 'New Galactic Order' and pirates just don't fit into anything with the word 'order' in its name. I simply got out while I still had the chance, decided to find a new way to acquire wealth and power. And now, it's all within my grasp. First I get Kaya's wealth, then work my way towards Terran citizenship and then... who knows, I might get into politics."

Luffy gazed at him for a few moments, thinking on what he'd heard. "Ye certainly got ambition, I'll give yeh that. But it seems yer point of view is different from mine. To bad I have to kill yeh, ye could've seen what my programme as Pirate King is gonna be. No hard feelings?"

Kuro smirked and got into his combat pose, grinding the blades on his glove against each other to make intimidating noises. "None at all, for you shall fail, you dog. I'll butcher you like a pig and then continue with my former crew."

And so, the fight commenced. The two captains flung themselves at each other, both going on the offensive. Luffy ducked under Kuro's initial slash and threw a punch at his gut, but found his strike redirected, hitting the air behind Kuro as he twirled around him. With his enemy's back to him, Kuro took the opportunity, striking with his gloved hand again, but Luffy anticipated his attack and, while turning around again, moved out of his reach. And the dance continued, each of them regaining ground right after giving it.

While Luffy was busy with Kuro, Nami was sneaking her way towards the now unmoving crew of wounded and frightened Black Cats. From her cover in the bushes, she observed her target: two men, neither wounded, looking with awe at the two swords that found their way to them, admiring their fine craftsmanship. One of them was holding both and the other didn't seem very pleased about it. He started shoving the other.

"Hay! Giv' me 'un o' dose!"

"Noway! Deese 'r moin!"

They started wrestling for the swords, one trying to pull them away from the other. At this rate, one of them was going to get hurt. A perfect opportunity for Nami to strike. If only the other pirates weren't so close - they could spot her and shoot her on the spot. But that's where Nedd'rd came in.

"ALRIGHT, YOU BUGGERS! COME FORTH SO I CAN DISPATCH YOU SWIFTLY!"

That was the PDF officer, walking down the hill towards the pirates. He was firing his rifles, laser rays hitting the band. The raiders scrambled to their feet in panic, trampling those who couldn't stand, and reached for their weapons. Perhaps if they took down this insolent old man, Kuro might forgive them? Nedd'rd ran into the forest and those of the pirates who could followed him, shouting after him. Only a few remained: the heavily wounded, the severely frightened, the medic and Jango, wo tried and failed to get the mob to stay and not let themselves be harrassed by the officer.

The two pirates wrestling for Zoro's swords noticed this and thus doubled their efforts. They were now rolling on the ground kicking and headbutting. Both wanted those swords and wouldn't let the other have them. Such was the discipline of the Black Cats. Nami used this and ran out of the bushes, staff in hand, and promptly knocked both of them unconscious.

She picked Zoro's lost swords up and observed them for a few moments. They were just regular katanas, nothing special about them. No extra gadgets, just steel. And yet Zoro could do some pretty neat magic with them. She could only imagine what he could do with, say, a vibroblade.

"Zoro!" she shouted.

Zoro had been busy with the Nyabans, fighting with all he had. But with just one sword against two quick moving cheetas with bladed gloves on each hand, he just wasn't able to go offensive if he wanted to stay alive. He waited and waited, hoping that at least one of them would make a mistake. But neither did. So, when he heard Nami, it was more then welcome.

Nami threw the swords towards him. Zoro deflected another strike and hopped backwards, quickly putting his sword between his jaws. Then, he lifted his hands, catching the other two swords gracefully, then quickly blocking his opponents' next attack.

'Hm,' he thought. 'Maybe she's not so bad after all.' He had had his doubts about her ever since he'd met her, and he couldn't shake the feeling. But maybe, just maybe, she was... okay.

"Hey!" he shouted anyway. "Don't thwow my swowds wike that ewer again, _pewwa_!" He had a bit of trouble speaking with a sword in his mouth.

"You're welcome!" Nami shouted, retreating back into the cover of the bush.

Zoro grinned, throwing a murderous glare at the two pirates whose claws were still pushing down on his swords. "Now... whewe wewe we?"

"Uh, what did he say?" Buchi asked.

Sham didn't have time to answer, for Zoro summoned his strenght and pushed their claws away, making them stagger. But before he could take a swing at them, a cry interrupted them.

"STOP!"

The three wariors stopped in their tracks, lowering their weapons a bit. Luffy, who was being held by the neck, stopped struggling and Kuro siftened his grip and lowered his clawed hand. The pirates that hadn't gone after Nedd'rd looked up.

There, behind Kuro, stood Kaya, wearing her nightgown and slippers - clearly she had come in a hurry. Her hair was messy from having just woken up. In her hand she held a laspistol, aimed at Kuro. She was shaking heavily.

"Stop!" she repeated.

Kuro smiled, though his gaze never left his opponent. "Miss Kaya! Do be careful, these fellows are pirates. They've come to kill you."

Kaya shook her head frantically. "No, Klahadore. You're the pirate. Merry told me so."

"So he was still alive," Kuro deduced. "I knew I should have made sure he was dead. But that constable was about to try something."

Kaya tried and failed to keep the gun steady. "Why would you do this?! Father saved you from the streets, gave you work!"

"Isn't it obvious?" was Kuro's answer. "I need your family wealth to fulfil my own ambitions. Ever since that shuttle... tragically crashed in suspicious circumstances, I've been making sure you don't go anywhere. You're the only thing that stands between me and that money. And I will kill all who would try to stop me."

"NO!" Kaya cried. "No more killing..." she said quietly. "I'm here, I'm giving myself up. So please... Spare the others."

"Do ye seriously think this guy'll let us live with what we know?" Luffy asked calmly. Noticing that all attention was on now him, he continued: "Let's think about this for a moment. He wants to kill his crew for failing to kill us, which, now that I say it, sounds even stupider, so your surrendering is of no importance on that matter. However, if he wins, then he need not kill us, so he might abstain from that. I rather doubt it. Because he's an ass. But now, you've handed him his victory condition, on a silver platter one might say. Congratulations, you stupid woman."

Kaya started to lower her gun. "W-... w-..."

"Oh, do I have to spell it out? Take a one-eighty degree turn and run for the hills. Preferably the ones where you'll be safe."

Kaya's entire body shook at his words. Realisation washed over her as she realised she had been thinking with her heart instead of her head. In a swift move she dropped the gun, turned and ran as fast as her feeble legs could carry her.

"Jango!" Kuro yelled. "What are you waiting for, get after her!"

Jango, caught off guard, scrambled to his feet and sprinted uphill and past his captain. Just after he disappeared in the forest, a rustling was heard and Usopp appeared from the bushes, attracting some attention. He looked left and right and then ran after Jango.

Luffy used this to his advantage. Kuro's attention was dropped, so he grabbed the arms that were holding him with his left hand, while using his right to push his head back twenty centimetres, stretching his neck unnaturally. He then released, hitting Kuro with a heavy headbutt, making him stumble backwards. Luffy, with his head still bobbling, used his left hand to pull off Kuro the right sleeve of his black shirt. He then kicked him forward, causing the left sleeve to come off as well. Kuro turned to face his foe, who now held his shirt in both hands as a weapon. The youth tilted his head mockingly. And the fight continued.

As did Zoro's. He had had the Nyaban Bros open before Kaya came and could have won. But now, he had to start over! He was going to give that girl a peice of his mind later. Anyway, the fight continued, with the tables turned now. The Nyabans were now successfully held in the defensive, with Zoro not giving them any ground. He was pushing them back, all the while not giving them a chanc to encircle him. Their backs eventually hit a rather thick tree. They had nowhere to go now. Zoro blocked their final attack, pushing both hands of both pirates high above their heads. He leaned his head forward, so that the third sword was in reach of them.

"Any last words?" he asked.

"Mrow! Have mercy!"

"Purrease don't kill us! We'll be good kittys!"

Zoro held off his attack for a few moments. Were they really surrendering? But then he remembered what had happened at the beginning of the battle. They had charged at him with fear in their eyes. Now, Zoro may not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but even a fool wouldn't fall for the same ruse twice.

"Sorry," he simply said, turning his head right... then slashing rightwards quickly, cutting off their heads in one swipe. It was a quick and painless death. "Que Dios se apyadeh de vustres almas," he said in Escarchlunic.

Luffy, meanwhile, was engaged in combat with Kuro, dodging his slashes and kicks as best as he could, using the black shirt in his hand to his advantage. But the man of a thousand plans, though a bit rusty, was quite the martial artist. It was too late when Luffy noticed he had given him too much ground and was backed up to a giant rock by the road. He hand nowhere to move.

"Say goodnight, you dog!" Kuro cried, preparing to deliver the final blow. However, it never came as a flash of white fur flew through the air and hit the captain's arm. Chouchou, who had stood throughout the fight at the sidelines, had come to his master's aid and embedded his teeth into Kuro's right arm.

As the captain roared in pain and started to try and shake the dog off, Luffy leapt into action. He held the shirt by its sleeves and ran past Kuro, covering his face with it, then tying it tightly behind him. He then proceeded to punch him in the face repeatedly. Once. Twice. Three times. Four. Five. He continued until the man was on his back.

Then, he called Chouchou off, giving his chin a rub and promising him a nice, fat, juicy sausage. He unwrapped Kuro's head, revealing a battered, bloody face of a half-conscious man. His glasses were broken, and so was his nose, he had a black eye and a few of his teeth were knocked out.

"Do you know why I won?" Luffy asked. His accent was gone.

Kuro grunted, a sound very unlike him. "Because you have the power of friendship on your side?"

"What? No!" Luffy exclaimed incredulously. "This is real world, not some kids' show. Or is it? Anyway, there's one simple reason. 'Water shapes its course in accordance to the ground over which it flows'. You don't. In other words, you suck at commanding. You should have become an accountant."

Kuro coughed up some blood. "You think this changes anything? The Brethren of the Stars will still fall! Our time is over!"

Luffy pulled a laspistol from undr his coat. "Well, it does change one thing. I'll have one less Terran polititian to worry about." He aimed the pistol at the Black Cat's head.

"Are you going to kill me, kid?" Kuro asked mockingly. "You don't have the guts, you-..."

"I've killed before," Luffy stated matter-of-factly, cutting him off. "I'm fucking nuts."

WZHOOM!

Luffy took off his hat and put it to his chest in mock respect. "And thus ends the sordid career of captain Kuro of a Thousand Plans. He couldn't come up with a thousand-and-first one."

"Damnit, Luffy, that was a terrible joke!" he heard a voice behind him. Nami approached him, having returned from the bushes. Zoro, too was walking over.

"Oh, I wasn't joking. What kind of a person do you think I am, that I would joke about someone's-... I can't say that with a straight face, sorry."

Zoro sheathed his swords. "Now that that's done... Where are the others?"

"Well, I'm here," said officer Aedk'ns as he appeared from the bushes. He was a bit dirty, with a few insect stings on his arms, but otherwise okay.

"Wow. I'm actually afraid to ask what has become of the other raiders," Luffy stated.

"Oh, they're fine," Nedd'rd answered anyway. "Though they'll probably need a day or two to fin their way back to civilisation. I lost them, you see, by getting them lost."

Luffy stsred at him in awe. "You, sir, are a man of courage, honour and, most importantly, humour, and I'd salute you, but you used to be a Marine, so..."

"Yeah, I hate to break up this banter, but..." Nami said, "Isn't there still Jango we need to worry about?"

"Huh?" Luffy wondered. "Oh yes. Funny, even though the enemy commander is dead, we can still lose the battle."

* * *

While Zoro and Luffy were fighting their opponents, Kaya was running through the woods. She could hear Jango hot on her tail, as he yelled promises of not hurting her after her.

'Klahadore, you bastard, I trusted you,' she though as she ran. 'How could I not have seen it?' thinking back, she knew she should have seen the signs: the sheltering, the disdain for the villagers... the illness too. She had been studying for the entry exam into the Syrup Medical School and it was apparent she was being poisoned, possibly through her food.

'Were it not for these... well, thee pirates, I would have been dead by now,' she thought as she ran forth. 'Complete strangers came to my aid. Why? Do they stand to gain something?'

She was getting tired. Her lungs, weakened by the illness, felt like they were on fire, her legs felt like they would fall off. She couldn't run any longer, so she gave up and stopped.

"I- *wheeze* got- *pant* you now, bitch!" Jango said as he approached her, tired as well. "Now, observe the pendulum and focus on my voice."

Kaya couldn't fight any more. She had no strength left in her. So she gave in.

"Now, breathe in deeply... breathe out... And again. When I say- YOW!"

Jango recieved a painful strike into his back. And another. And another. And another. He would have received a fifth one, had he not swiped around with pistol drawn, aiming at his attackers. Three little boys, Carrot, Onion and Pepper. "Git from lady Kaya, you bastard!"

Jango laughed. "You're not the ones with the gun! All you have is those wooden swords. I'll kill you first and then hypnotise Kaya!"

While this was transpiring, Usopp got into position, some four hundred metres away from the group. With his rail gun's butt resting on his shoulder, he took aim, looking through his scope. He could see Jango, threatening his three friends with a gun. He had to shoot. But when he aimed for his head, his arm began to shake. 'if you really want to be a pirate, sometimes you'll need to take your enemies' lives,' Luffy's words resonated in his head. But he couldn't. He couldn't kill him. 'I'm not saying you should be ashamed of that,' Luffy's voice then said in his head. And Usopp knew what to do. Having taken aim, he pulled the trigger.

First, there was a loud bang as the bullet, accelerated by magnets, broke the sound barrier. Then, there was a scream. "AAAH! MY FUCKIN' ARM!"

Jango dropped the gun, for his upper right arm was broken and bleeding as the bullet, travelling at a supersonic speed, shot through it with a loud bang, the bang of the gun firing it sounding a second later. "AAH! THAT'S... THAt's... my blood..." And he promptly fainted.

"Usopp..." Kaya muttered.

"Kaya!" Usopp exvlaimed as he ran to her and envelopped her in a hug. Adrenaline stoll coursed through both their veins, so they shook in each other's arms as they slowly calmed down. "Are you alright?" Usopp finally asked.

Kaya nodded. "Yes, thanks to you. All of you," she said, nodding to the three children in gratitude.

" _Twuz nuth'n_."

* * *

Later that very same day, the crew of the Straw Hat gathered at the _Fith_ place to celebrate their victory. Many of the Syrupish were there as well, thanking them and buying them rounds of drinks, which would be rude to refuse, as Luffy pointed out.

"Here's to our saviors! Luffy Monkey D. and the Straw Hat Pirates!"

"CHEERS!"

Luffy cleared his throat to get some attention. "That's 'captain' Luffy Monkey D., and at that, Monkey D. Luffy rolls off the tongue better."

"Yes, whatever," Usopp said. "Now, as I was saying, then I shot through ten raiders with one shot, injuring Kuro as well, so the captain wouldn't have a hard time beating him."

"We are in need of financers, if you're interested," Nami said, talking to another group.

"Just get me more beer," was Zoro's simple request.

"More beer for everyone!" Elis'bith yelled. "This one is on me!"

"Gee, than you, Lis!" Usopp thanked her.

"Just don't think you're off the hook. You still owe me 250 coins."

And another toast was said, and another beer drunk, when the door of the inn opened and Kaya walked in.

"Hah-har, miss Kaya!" Luffy greeted cheerfully. "I see you're getting better. So, to what do we owe this pleasure?"

Kaya, smiling happily, said: "I've found a way to repay you. And before you refuse it, know that it's something you desperately need."

"Ah, I'm sorry my lady, but I don't sleep with just anyone," Luffy answered, his face getting serious. "Besides, you're Usopp's lady, aren't you? No, no, it wouldn't have worked out between us."

Kaya's face reddened. "W-... what?! No, Usopp and I are friends! Pals! Chums! ... Besides, why would you think it was something like that?!"

"I guess it's because he desperately needs it," Nami offered, smiling teasingly at the captain.

"Oh, hush, you Burglar," Luffy shot back calmly. "Anyway, where's this reward you so wrongly thought I'd refuse then?"

.

"Here it is," Kaya presented the present.

The four gathered pirates - that is Luffy, Zoro, Nami and Chouchou, as Usopp had walked off towards his house after they had left the inn - stood in awe. There, in the hangar underneath the mansion, a starship was docked.

It was a caravel-class, an older model used mostly for exploration some two centuries ago. They went out of production in the year 512 of the Terran Calendar, but remained in use even throughout the 6th century, due to their versatility and robustness. They were fairly quick, with good maneuverability, with a reasonable hull and enough space for a good line of both broadside and frontal cannons. About the size of a modern brigantine, they were 110 metres in length and 20 in height and width, with four decks - the living quarters in the heavens-most deck the bridge, gunnery control room and armour one deck lower, with the depths-most two decks reserved for the cargo and the engine room.

"It's a caravel," Kaya explained. "Merry has been working on it for the last twenty-five years. He would have presented it to you himself, but with his injuries, I wouldn't let him out of bed."

She looked at Luffy when she didn't get an answer, noticing a single tear escape his eye. "She's beautiful," he said quietly. "What's her name?"

"The Going Merry," she answered.

Luffy broke out of the sentimentality in a blink. "Nami, Zoro! We're hauling the cargo from the Little Bottom and then leaving."

"Aye aye, captain!"

It took them about an hour but they were now ready to go. The booty raided from Buggy was loaded, as were provisions - curtesy of Kaya. But somethig was still missinh. Or rather, someone.

"Say, where is Usopp?" Luffy asked, taking a sip from his flask.

"Probably chickened out," Zoro offered.

"Or lied about joining up," was Nami's suggestion.

Kaya, who was standing by them, waiting in the hangar, had a different opinion. "He's leaving his home, likely for good. He wynts to say godbye properly."

"And what would that include?" Nami asked.

"Well..." Kaya thought for a moment. "A last lie to everyone... Telling Carrot, Onion and Pepper to bee 'good'... But mostly, I think he's saying goodbye to his mother."

"His mom?" Nami asked. "The bastard didn't even introduce us!"

"At the cemetery," Kaya explained.

All were silent for a few moments. "Oh."

"Don't worry, it's been a while," the lady assured. "He's come to terms with it long ago."

"What was she like?" Luffy asked.

"She was an angel. Everybody loved her. Well, especially that pirate, Yasopp 'Quickscope' Kirk, obviously. Even to her death, she never resented him for leaving, stating that he'd come back once he'd fulfilled his goal."

"Wait, his last name's Kirk?" Zoro asked. "He didn't even tell us his last name, the rabbit!"

"Well, we never asked," Luffy answered. "And, speak of the devil..."

Usopp had come... packing a giant rucksack that looked heavier than he was. "'Ello there!" He greeted. "I guess... this is... goodbye then," he said to the leaving pirates. "I... hope to... see you again someday."

"Oh, quit trying to weasel out and sign this!" Luffy said, pushing the Straw Hat Republic charter into his face. "And then get onboard, or we'll actually leave you behind!"

"Ooh! Do I get to be the captain?" the Syrupishman asked while signing the paper.

"NO!" his now crewmates answered in unison. Even Chouchou barked something that sounded something like it.

"Worth a try..."

Usopp then turned towards Kaya. "Kaya... m'lady... I..."

"Yes?"

Usopp scratched the back of his head. "What I want to say is... well... I..."

"Oh for the love of-... Just kiss her already and let's go!" Luffy yelled. He received a hit on the back of the head for that, curtesy of Nami.

Usopp blushed heavily, as did Kaya. "What?! I'm not gonna-..." he tried to say, but Kaya saved him from the awkwardness and kissed him on the cheek.

"Do come back!" she ordered "Preferably before we're shriveled old coots."

Usopp nodded. And he was being the most honest he'd ever been in hes life.

"Very good!" Luffy exclaimed. "Let's go!" And then he started to sing as they boarded the ship. While he didn't have a singing voice, he wasn't too out of tune either.

"We sail the endless space lanes!

We sail the Galaxy!

The quest is never ending!

It leads us to destiny!"

Kaya exited the hangar and opened the main door. And soon, there was an old ship flying out of the hill and into the sky.

* * *

 **That song, by the way, was Alestorm's 'The Quest'.**


	11. Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk

The starship was a beauty, everyone agreed. There was plenty of room in the light gray decks. The beds were comfy, the canteen spacious. The bridge was magnificent too. It was built on two platforms, with the upper in the back being the command centre - with the captain's seat, the navcomputer, the communications centre and the sensor array - and the lower area for the pilot and copilot(s) in the front, sticking outwards about a metre above the floor below which extended for two metres further before ending in the front windowshield, which could be shut in case of emergency and doubled as the main screen. Spacious, with the best equipment money could buy - the 'Crow's Nest S5' sensor array, the 'Celestia Century 7.5' navigation system, a helm allowing for a precise and efficient piloting of the vessel and, most importantly, leather seats. Even the passanger liners didn't bother too much with luxury in those days, so having comfy chairs on the bridge was a sight seen only on the ships of the top brass of the navy.

Luffy immediately took the command seat, in the centre-back of the bridge, sitting cross-legged upon it with Chouchu in the front. Nami, after punching into the navcomputer their warp jump, took the seat at the helm. Usopp sat at the sensor array. Zoro fell asleep in one of the cabins. It would take a while before they reached their destination anyway, travelling at 2.7 pc/h.

While in transit, Luffy decided that, as a newly founded crew, they still needed a flag. So, he took the computer, which was attached to the right arm of the command seat, and started drawing - not with sophisticated modeling tools, but simply his fingers.

"There! All done!"

The crew observed their captain's creation as he showed it on the main screen of the bridge. "Uh... What's that supposed to represent?" Zoro, who wasn't very happy about being woken up, asked.

"Ah-ha! I'm glad you asked, Zoro! Well, as you can see, it is a classic skull and crossbones. But note the deformity of the face. It expresses disgust and complete depression as it stares off into the word, which is also punctuated by the faint rancid-green glow where the eyes should be. The hat, hanging from the head, is deformed as well, and represents the final glimmer of hope as it barely hangs in place. Note the teeth, crooked and uneven from munching up gold taken from the impoverished. But the colour palette realy captures the emotion of the artist as it contrasts heavily with the traditional black field."

"... That's a skull?" Zoro asked.

"I though it was a fennel," Usopp stated.

Nami pinched the bridge of her nose. "Luffy, you can't have a piece of expressionist art as your jolly roger! Contrary to popular opinion, common people are stupid and just pretend to uderstand art. An organisation's sign should be simple and comprehensive."

Luffy's smile faded. She was right, his creation wasn't fit to go on his ship's hull. "Well if only we knew someone who could paint, or even at least make graffiti, so that we could make our flag."

Usopp suddenly became the centre of attention. "What? Do I have something in my teeth?"

Fifteen minutes later, Usopp presented his creation.

"Okay, looks nice, but it resembles you too much, Usopp."

Fifteen more minutes later...

"How is this any better?" Luffy asked.

Usopp had created a flag with a cartoonish-looking skull wearing a straw hat with bones crossed behind it on a black field.

"Well, it's simple and to the point," Usopp answered.

"It's cartoonish, how will that strike fear into anyone?" Luffy asked again, still not satisfied.

"The Black Cats had a cat on their jolly roger, and everyone feared it," was Nami's statement.

"That's diferrent," Zoro piped in. "Cats are evil. Well, at least the domesticated ones."

"Was that directed at me!?" Nami shot back, threatening with her fist.

"Okay, we'll take it," Luffy proclaimed before that could escalate though. "As soon as we land somewhere, you'll be in charge of painting it to our designated flag surfaces. Then you'll close the shutters and paint another flag there." It haf appeared that the designated flag surfaces of the ship's hull - they had the standard Republic pisitions - had shutters which could close over them to display another flag. It was a little known detail of the caravel's design.

"And what should I put there?" Usopp asked.

The captain thought for a moment. "The New India Trading Company. They have so many ships that an extra one will escape the bureaucrats' noses."

Just then they exited warp, entering an uninhabited system. The drive needed recharging, which would take three hours or so. The Crow's Nest beeped - the sensors had picked up an anomaly. Zoro sat down there to check what it was.

"Uh-oh! Two ships approaching, _capitán_. Uhh... five light seconds away."

"Friend or foe?" the young captain asked.

Just then, a concentrated beam of light passed them.

"Foe it is," Luffy stated. "Alright, all hands to your stations! Nami, get the helm! Zoro, I want you where you are! Usopp, to the cannons! Chouchou, lie on my lap for moral support!"

Without skipping a beat, the crew obeyed the captain's commanding voice. Usopp scrambled to the cannons' control room, which was just behind the bridge, and turned on a few of the targeting computers. Nami jumped onto the pilot's platform and immefiately took the helm.

Just then, a beam hit their energy shield. "Evasive maneuvers, Nami!" Luffy commanded.

"Yeah!"

The Merry sped as it fled from the two attackers. Usopp tried to return fire, but he was only one man operating many cannons. The foes, likely realising their lack of gunners, started maneuvering around them. one approaching from the heavens stern and the other from the depths stern, all the while continuing their barrage. They were now at a distance of half a light second and still approaching.

" _Capitán_! Asteroid field, dead ahead, ten light seconds."

Luffy hummed. "We can try and shake them off there."

"Uh, Luffy, I've never sailed through an asteroid field before," Nami warned.

"Noted. It'll be a character building experience. Take her in."

And so, they flew into the field, the pursuers hot at their tail. The shields had absorbed much energy and were in danger of overloading. Immediately after entering, the hits decreased noticably.

Nami's hands sweated as she piloted the ship through the dangerous space at a high speed. The asteroid field was filled with smaller meteorites which littered the space between the larger celestial formings, obstructing the way and causing her to make maneuvers she wasn't used to.

Suddenly, they heard - and felt - a thunk somewhere at the depths side.

"I think we hit something," Usopp stated, his voice being heard through the comm.

"Thanks, captain Obvious!" Nami shouted back.

"No, no, I'm the captain!" Luffy shouted.

"Yeah, but not Obvious, idiot!" Nami shot back. She hit anothe meteorite, though not as hard.

"No, I think it's pretty obvious I'm the captain."

" _Si_ , how about we worry about the two ships pursuing... Oh, they gave up."

And there was much rejoicing.

... Not really, because this victory (near defeat with loss of life) had provided them with some valuable information

They needed a pilot. (To be fair, they also needed a few deckhands, but instead of bringing up the fact that he was having trouble operating the cannons alone, Usopp instead boasted about 'some splendid shots I fired at the bloody wankers.')

* * *

Espera was a fairly wealthy Feudal Planet in the Mosuinn system. Trade was good, the mail runner arrived twice a planetary revolution, delivering the latest news, production was at the highest in the region, its people were mostly happy and crime was relatively low. The world boasted pristine mountain ranges, magnificent arctic and antarctic areas of ice, beautiful deserts of sand as red as dawn, fields of golden grass, clear seas which covered about sixty percent of its surface and vast forests. Its populated areas were clean, but one would likely have felt endangered on the streets. You see, while the world didn't have a strong presence of PSA agents, it was on a route often travelled by Social Justiciars.

This might require some explanation. A long one, in fact. Anyway, it all began sometime around the year 513 of the Terran Calendar. It was right after a wave of revolutionary though had started in the Btashrazh Bureaucratic Republic (now Gtuzhbol Military and Kingdom of Terr) and swept over the Galaxy, spreading a vast variety of revolutionary ideas everywhere it went. It sparked revolutions in every corner of the Galaxy, like the Great Peasant Revolts in the Xüüfin Kingdom or the Labourer Uprising and the Anarcho-Capitalist Revolution in Sanghto & sons'.

The then Terran Republic of Humanity was no exception. Ideas of nationalism spread into the hearts of the often oppressed worlds. A coalition of civilian governors was formed, uniting about half the Republic's worlds, and, with the backing of a few Marine admirals even, declared independence from Terra. Thus the Great Secession Crisis began. A war was waged, one that, once it ended in 547, left the country exhausted, broken and but for the situation being the same all around the Galaxy, ambitious neighbours might have conquered it. The rest of the century, the Republic would struggle to get back on its feet. Crime and injustice reigned supreme, so much so in fact, that entire Planets in the frontier sectors lived under the protection of and paid tribute to pirate crews warring for dominance.

During this time, one man rose. Toonowne Kyrsid. He fought in the war, recruited at the age of 15 - the age limit was lowered due to the war and, for some reason, remains the same in the 7th century - into the Marine, in the year 529. After witnessing cruelty, injustice and suffering, he joined the then Cult of Justice, which had been founded even before the Republic, but experienced the greatest rise during the 6th century. It was a religious sect that worshipped Lady Justice as the supreme goddess of all living things, who watched over and delivered righteousness to all. However, the cult believed her to be displeased with the situation in the Republic. She wanted judges, instruments of her will who would serve her, strike down the lawbreakers.

Thus, many Justice Cultists entered the justice system. Toonowne finished law school at the top of his class. He quickly climbed the ranks of the judicial branch of the Government, until finally, in 602, he was elected, by the Court of Judgement, into the position of Lord Judgement, the supreme authority in the government branch.

This was the crucial point of the Republic's history, and the history of the Cult of Justice. You see, the Terran Republic was six hundred years old. And in that time, the legislative branch never rested. Laws kept getting written without much thought of the reprecautions. This led to a vast array of laws which, if printed in font 12, would probably fill more paper than the entire literary cannon of humanity. I'm, of course, exagerating a bit. What's more important is that most of these laws are unknown to most, with some even conflicting each other. Toonowne, in particular, was interested in two specific laws; the private army law, which allowed individuals to found their own armies, which were allowed to carry PDF-grade equipment, and the Govt-civilian business law, which, amongst many other things, allowed for civilian companies to be hired in order to carry out the Government's duties on far-off worlds, as long as its owner had adequate qualifications in the field.

Coupled together, these laws meant that, effectively, Toonowne could create an army of private judges to act in his name, as he was more than qualified as a judge, and travel around the country, where they could bypass the law which allowed local Planetary courts to pass judgement on local affairs without the interference of the Court of Judgement on Terra.

In the following years, the Republic was 'cleansed of evil-doers', as Toonowne worded it in one of his speeches. The Cult of Justice gained much power through Lord Judgement, becoming the Church of Justice. The Terran Republic of Humanity was renamed into the Holy Terran Republic of Humanity. And, even to the time of our story, Toonowne Kyrsid remains Lord Judgement, in his 150s, after five rejuvinative treatments.

As soon as the Merry entered Espera's orbit, the crew noticed that they were just one of many ships visiting the world. Ships, mostly civilian liners of a wide range of origins, were entering the planet's atmosphere. There were the Republican 'upside-down boats', Sanghtite 'flying cigars', Hrutzan 'As', Xüüfinnic 'serpents', even a few Marpopul 'fish'. Zoro could have even sworn he had noticed a 'flying saucer' of the Holy Church of Ancient Power.

The Straw Hats, however, had no time to ponder this, as they were hailed by the planet's spaceport's control.

"This is Espera Spaceport Tower," a nasal, disinterested male voice came over the bridge's speakers. "Identify yourself."

Luffy pressed a button on his computer. "Hey, Spaceport! This is the Going Merry, requesting permission to dock."

"Surname? Name? Occupation?"

"Monkey D., Luffy, unemployed."

"It'll be 699.99 coins for a pier. I'm sending the payment adress."

Luffy inserted a credit chit into the computer and transferred the required ammount to the sent account.

"Welcom to Espera, Monkey D.," the Spaceport worker said, his voice still disinterested. "Proceed to dock 404."

It took a bit of time to find dock 404, but the Merry finally landed in one of the many holes in the ground that were the docks. With a clunck the caravel slid into the holders and a bridge extended to the main entance airlock.

The crew gathered before disembarking in the mess hall, to decide on the division of tasks. It was decided that Usopp would take the time down on the ground to paint the flags on the hull. Zoro was sent to purchase food provisions and medicinals and Nami was tasked with buying some equipment they were missing - for instance, space suits. They were given some credits, with each crew member providing their share from their own purse. Luffy, after reminding them of the rules on their charter and the punishments for breaking them, volunteered to go recruiting. Harbour taverns of such worlds were often filled with people looking for work, many of them not caring whether it was legal or not. This was even more so the case for worlds where law enforcement had a strong grip.

With everyone having a task to do, the crew dispersed. Usopp immediately started working on the flags, Nami and Zoro took the underground to the planetary capital's market centre and Luffy made his way to the district of the city that was the closest to the spaceport - Porttown Esperaburg. It was the part of town where most the labourer population lived. Dockhands, factory and office workers. However, the main street running from the Porttown towards the city centre boasted hotels, from the shittiest to the shiniest, clubs, bars and taverns. The main street, Elisah, named after the colony ship carrying a Californian nation from a colony that had once belonged to the colonial empire of the American Unified States, was the planet's main hub.

Luffy walked into a tavern a little away from the main street. It was a most insignificant place, neither glamorous nor run-down, with the forgetable name of Elton's. In comparison to the exterior, the interior was a bit less forgetable. Round plastic wood-like tables, a dark brown bar with a reasonable variety of drinks. In the corner above the bar, a wide screen was broadcasting the Republic Broadcasting Network, Espera Branch's channel 1.

The tavern was, despite its insignificant look, quite full, with people of different species to boot. Luffy noticed a few marpapel (or fishmen, as was the more commonly used name due to the gilled mammaloid humanoids' resemblance to Terran fish), there were some frroschtiid Republic Citizens (amphibianoids from a planet in the clockwisemost sector, Green Sector, of the Republic, who could be described as four-eyed six-limbed bipedal frogs), there were some kahdons (mammaloid humanoids with a vague resemblance to dogs, a race from the capital planet of Sanghto & sons'), even three xüündarins (a reptiloidic species whose best description would be crocodiles on two legs, also the dominant species of the Xüüfin Kingdom), who were, judging from their silver-lined teal green garbs, middle-ranking nobles.

Luffy sat down at the bar. The bartender, a middle-aged tall round man with a brown mustache, turned to him. "What'll it be?"

"Rum, if you have it."

The man hummed at him. "I got rum. But do you got some ID?"

Luffy revealed his left forearm for the bartender to see. He grumbled lowly as he read the numbers below the line code. He proceeded to silently calculate the boy's age from Terran years to Esperan.

"You're not eighteen yet, in Esperan or Terran. I can't give you nothing."

"Oh, but I'm from Goa, and I'm already eighteen Goan years!"

"Sorry, kid, can't give you alcohol. I have some milkshakes though."

"Give me juice 'neat'. I need a strong drink."

While the bartander had indeed caught the young man's sarcasm, he served him nonetheless. He provided him a local plum juice, straight from the fridge. Luffy, deciding that beggars shouldn't be choosers, took it and started to drink.

"So, barkeep. Any workers looking for a job aboard a ship? I'm recruiting, you see."

"Hmm... I doubt it, kid. Most of them are now working on organising the race."

"What race?"

The bartender looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "Have you been living under a rock?" He sighed, and then explained: "It's the seventh Galactic Fighter Race Grand Tour and the next race is tomorrow, here on Espera! Racers from all around the Galaxy, pitted against each other in a battle of supreme speed and skill, with racing spaceboats from the most prestigious engineering companies!"

Luffy hummed in interest. "So there are pilots staying here as well? Skilled ones?"

The bartender laughed at his question. "Forget it, kid. Those people get paid millions for a single race, whether they win or not. They wouldn't give that up to go serve on some... say, I never caught what you deal in."

Luffy never got to answer, for another costumer sat beside him. "*Squak* Something fermented, barman," it said, with a higher-pitched imitation of a male human voice, silently and with a reserved tone.

It was a psittack. The species had features which could classify them as avianoids: endothermics, toothless beaks, wings, plumage, light yet strong skeleton. Their bodies, shaped like something between a human and y bird, grew to about 1.5 metres. They had thin yet strong legs with four-clawed feet (two claws front, two backwards), two arms (with a thumb and three fingers on the hands) growing out of the torso somewhere at three quarters of its height and wings with a span of six metres which could be folded onto their backs. Their eyes were jet black. Their beaks varied in shapes and colours, depending on their race - this one in particular had a medium-width hooked yellow one. Their females were brown, grey or black, and the males were colourful, some green and blue, others blue and black - again, depending on the race. This one was red with green and blue concentric circles on the head and paralel lines on the wings and a bit of black around the eyes - a male.

Psittacks were a species from Amastratatkta, which was the property of Sanghto & sons'. Their quicker metabolism and high reflexes made them perfect candidates for jobs that required speed and precision, even though their natural life expectancy was only about 70 Terran years, which made them one of the shortest-living sentients.

"You here to race, then?" Luffy asked him.

The psittack looked at him angrily. "Oh, so because I'm a psittack I must necessarily be a racer. Oh, very polite of you, very polite." His voice, while high-pitched, was grim and depressed.

"So... are you?" Luffy pressed on.

"Of course I am!" he shot back. The bartender gave him some local wine, in a bowl from which the beaked man could drink. "Barkeep, a word," the psittack said. There was a locket hanging on a golden chain around his neck. He opened it and showed it to the human. "Have you seen this girl?"

Luffy leaned in as well, to see what the psittack was showing to the bartender. Inside the locket, there was a picture of two psittacks. One was a smaller and younger-looking version of the one sitting next to him. The other, in the arms of the first, was a brown psittack about the same age as the male.

"Sorry, you all look the same to me I'm afraid," the bartender said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I know that feeling. You humans are also all equally ugly," was his comeback.

"Your sister?" Luffy asked.

"My _cawrtikkatitktcraw_ , she-bondmate," the psittack corrected. "We were separated three years ago." 3.635 Terran years. "I've been looking for her, but the GFRGT is a very set route."

"Why not leave then?" the young pirate asked.

The psittack shook his head, then revealed something under the plumage on his neck: a metallic collar, fixed securedly on his neck. "I'm a deptor. My worthless father died before he could pay his depts. So, the swinher he owed money to demanded it from me, and my she-bondmate. But we were broke. So, the bastard invoked the 'Dept Repayment Law', and employed us both without pay. But my other didn't have the skills he wanted, so he sold her. And now I race for the fatso."

Swinhers were the dominant race, the race of the founders of Sanghto & sons'. Rounded, short (1.2 metres tall) reptiloids that resembled pigs walking on hind legs. Hooked snouts, black-hooved legs and black fingernails, grey, black or pink skin. They came from Farmanima, where they had evolved parallel to kahdons. While they were weaker than their mammalod cohabitors, they were smarter, which alowed them to become the masters in modern times. They were also known as ruthless businessmen.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Luffy offered condolence. "If not for that collar, I'd take you on my ship, sail you to more far-off places like the Grand Line."

The psittack squaked. "The Grand Line, huh? She could be there. What is your name, o human?"

"Captain Monkey D. Luffy. Adventurer, man of ambition, young bachelor and future-..." He looked around to see if someone was listening, then leaned in. "... future Pirate King," he whispered.

"Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk," the psittack introduced himself. "Adrenaline junkie, speed 'cultist', with the ambition to become the fastest, or at least the best, pilot in the Galaxy."

The two shook hands in the universal gesture of friendly greeting. They went back to their drinks then, focusing on the television. On the programme were the afternoon news.

"These reports just in, from the latest mail runner.

A terrorist bombing on Mariejois interrupted the meeting between our and Sanghto's officials, who were discussing the defensive strategy of our two countries in case of war. An explosion rocked the government building and the square, killing twenty people and severely wounding hundreds. Officials have confirmed the involvement of the Revolutionary Army, the self proclaimed Republic People's Front. For an interview, fleet admiral Sengoku Hotoke of the 7th Fleet stated that...

'Shameful. Absolutely shameful. These people need to be stopped before they kill more people. We need to act now, before they can consolidate enough support and start a full-on war. Then, we'll have another situation like the Pirate War on our hands. Those supporting the Revolutionaries need to be tracked down.'

'Pirate activity has spiked in the last decade. Do you think they are in league with the Revolutionaries?

'I fought in the Pirate War, kid. And let me tell you, I wouldn't trust a pirate if I had him in my sights the whole time. If they are in league with these... terrorists, we can safely say they'll betray them as soon as their backs are turned. But nonetheless, stricter policies will be required, as well as more organised hunts, to bring both these two threats down for good.'

'Thank you, fleet admiral.'

In other news, it seems the territorial talks between the Marpopul States of Wrawa and Darwoon broke down. Officials from both states met under the supervision on inspectors from the Ministry of Exterior and Xüüfin diplomats, but couldn't find common ground. Our inspectors advised the Wrawans not to answer to insults, but can the same be said about the Darwoons and the Xüüfins? Inspector Hardus Cockus assures that, while angry, the Darwoons are far from able to fight a war with their financial situation.

Now onto-..."

Suddenly, the screen crackled and the signal was lost, replaced by anarchic 'A'. "This is Rebel Media, giving you Alternate News. I'm your anchor, S. A."

The bartender scrambled to try and shut down the television, but his remote wasn't working. A human stepped up to him. "Shut it down, Elton!"

"I'm trying, Mick! It's not working."

"It seems the Revolutionaries tried to kill a few corrupt officials discussing the impending war against the Holy Compact of Xüüfin and Holy Church. In their failure, they managed to kill some civilians. And the Republic assures us we're safe, eh?"

"Elton, this thing is gonna get us in trouble!"

Elton acted quickly, and phisically pulled the plug on the television, cutting it off from the source of electricity. He released a sigh of relief. "That was close... Those bastards are getting bolder, hijacking an RBN broadcast."

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk turned to Luffy. "Who are these... Rebel Media."

"A bunch of loud upstarts who are slso the only alternative that balances out the official media. You see, in the Republic, all media houses, government-owned or private, are subject to the watchful eye of the Ministry of Truth. They may be a bit... radical in their views, but better to have more obviously radical media houses than just one that seems objective."

A few moments later, the two were approached by two kahdons wearing black garments and shiny spiked neckbands. They towered over Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk menacingly.

"Oh, it seems my boss wants to see me. Well, good luck, captain Luffy."

As the psittack left, Luffy sunk into his thoughts. 'Seems like a talented man. Ambitious too. And honest. Would make a good adition to our crew. But he's a deptor - a slave.' He got up from his chair. 'We'll wait here till tomorrow, see the race and wait for an opportunity. Gotta find the others.'

He couldn't shake the feeling the race wouldn't be the most exciting thing that awaited them the next day.


	12. Espera Grand Prix

**What's this? Another chapter? Shiiiiet!**

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen! Fans of high-speed flying! Welcome to the Espera Grand Prix! And what a race do we have in store for you! Pilots from all across the Galaxy have come to awe us with their amazing skill.

In this, the 17th race of the season, things are starting to indicate that a dramatic showdown awaits us at the finals. Out of the fifty magnificent racers, with nine already dead, it all seems to be leading to a battle between the Four."

It was the following morning, ten in the morning of the Central Esperan Clock (for referrence, the 24 hours of the Esperan day amounted to rougly 24.684 Terran hours). 50 000 people had gathered at the Esperaburg Shuttleport, which had been repurposed into the start and finish line of the day's race. The stands that had been errected in the passed week were filled with lovers of speedy sports - at least those who had booked their seats or VIP boxes a year prior. A few million others had to make do with the live footage broadcast by RBN Espera Channel 2.

The Straw Hats were among the latter. They were gathered in the mess hall of their ship, the screen turned on and tuned to the channel. After spending the previous evening looking for Zoro, who had got lost in the giant market centre walking around aimlessly while trying to find the exit. It was decided that he'd never get the position of second navigator. And now, they had all gathered to see the pilot whom Luffy had spoken of. Nami still had her doubts.

"You sure this... what was his name again?" she asked.

"Polli-... Polly and something," the captain answered.

"Are you sure this Polly Parrot is worth paying another day's docking fee? I mean, how will we even recruit him? He's a debtor!"

"I'll pay the fee from my own funds," Luffy assured her. "We'll see how he races first. As for the fact that he's a debtor... I might have a few ideas... I'm still working on."

"And here are the racers!" the announcer exclaimed. The screen showed forty-one pilots walking onto the landing strip, towards the spaceboats lined before the starting line. "Note the favourites: sargeant Hungrro-sarr Trrightrra drun Brrusri of the Bhinghurrtharr Military Republic, the pilot for Brrusri Thrusters and Engines, with 1520 points, our own Micki Schumacher from Neuhürth, racing for Pipistrellus Craft, with 1535 points, Polly-rutuk-rat-caw-turni-tur-caw-trink-atuk (?) from Sanghto n' sons', racing for Hurroke Flights, with 1540 points and the current leader of the flotilla of racers, baron Üglûhk Hännxu-fin Rüüđa of the Xüüfin Kingdom, racing in the name of the Rüüđa house, with 1542 points."

As Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk walked towards his engine, head down, he, once again, felt the disgusting attention of the filthy crowd. How he hated them, those who had turned up for simple enjoyment. Ugh!"

" _Hundrüveta_ _Polly_!" he heard Üghlûhk say next to him challegingly. 'Listen here, Polly!' he managed to translate with his basic knowledge of the Xüüfin language. The reptiloid then continued, speaking quite hatefully towards him. Polly could only catch something about 'Rüüđa prestige', 'the king's favour' and 'out of the way, peasant'.

Polly paid him no mind. He was the only unpaid racer, so he was naturally in sights of his richer opponents, what with his talents. Üghlûhk was the worst though. The giant yellow-skinned xüündarin was boorish, rude and, which was otherwise unusual for the lower nobles of Xüüfin, had a holier-than-thou attitude towards all, with the exception of his head of house and his king.

Polly climbed into his spaceboat. The Hurroke engine was a blue, Y-shaped skycar, otherwise used as a cheap fighter by the Ihto Security Agency in the clockwisemost Sanghto & sons'. The original design was meant for kahdons, so some modifications had been made to fit the psittack's smaller frame - the command board was closer to the seat, as were the yolk and the peddals. With his helmet on, Polly awaited the start.

" _Kwee_ _urng_ _futrruh_!" a voice snorted over the radio. 'Be aware of this, you employee.' "*Oink* kweerr hurrturuh-ruga krruuhah." 'I want you to win today.'

That was his boss, speaking in Squelsh, the official language of Sanghto & sons'.

" _Futrhah_ , _futrurghah_ ," Polly answered back, keeping his emotions in check, though he wanted to give the fatso a peice of his mind. 'I am aware, I am well aware.'

In his booth, a black grey swinher in luxurious grey garments and a hat, snorted. Were it not for the psittack's skills in piloting, he would have sold him long ago. But the man was too valuable. Even now, at the age of 18 (Farmaniman years - 21.810 Terran years), he was one of the best pilots the Galaxy had to offer.

The swinher turned to his five kahdon bodyguards. "Kwee *oink*eer uwee*hree* wreegrah!" 'Give me the remote detonator - lit. debtor-leash.'

"Nap-*hrurr* Sqwee Lhurr, ree!" the grunts said in a bit broken squelsh, as their vocal chords and mouths weren't built for the swinher language. 'Bossman Sqwee Lhurr, yes!'

Lhurr held the device in his hand, lightly touching the detonation button but never pressing it. The feeling was grand - one push of a button and the psittack's collar would kill him, with an explosion inwards into his neck. The pilot was at his mercy. The swinher was put at ease - his pilot wouldn't dare try and escape.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, to give the starting signal: governor Leeoh Warner!"

In the control tower of the shuttleport, which had been repurposed into the main booth, governor Warner took a deep breath. He was a tall round man of slightly tanned skin and black hair, over which he wore his governor's curly powdered wig. He was flanked by four inspectors from the Government's ministries, all in black frock coats and short straight powdered wigs, and two soicial justiciars, in grey frock coats with long judicial wigs.

"Welcome, welcome to Espera Grand Prix!" the governor started. "With the hard work of our Esperan labourers, we have prepared for you a race to remember. It couldn't be done without their sweat, and the funding of the following groups: Michian Metalworks, Builder's League United, Merkatz & co., New India Trading Company, Nesston's Nutrients, Waldo's Wine Cellar, Pear Inc., Terran Ministry of Culture and Terran Ministry of Infrastructure, as well as the numerous anonymous donors. Thank you!"

"It almost wasn't," one of the inspectors - the symbol of a skyscraper on the right side of his chest signified that he was from the Ministry of Infrastructure - commented, "The justiciars would do well to remember that."

"Inspector Honda would do well not to make baseless accusations!" one of the justiciars, a man in his thirties, stated. "We justiciars were simply ensuring that the work was carried out without the breaking of Her Laws."

"Her Laws? Justiciar Innocentus should remember Law 527.8.13/6A - the 'Minisry Inspection Authority Law', specifically paragraph 12-C, which demands, 'for the sake of efficiency', the inspectors of the Ministries be given full authority over projects they're assigned to, with only Government warrants having the ability to freeze their function until an investigation is conducted. I was never shown such a warrant."

"According to Law 621.4.27./1B," the justiciar answered, "justiciars are 'to be given authority to investigate any person, organisation and/or project', should they suspect the breaking of the law."

"Gentlemen, please!" the inspector from the Ministry of Truth - he had a symbol of the lit torch on his chest - intervened before the two could continue their argument. No doubt, this citing of laws, which contradict each other in their very essence, could quickly lead to an 'incident'. "There is no need for bad blood between the Government's officials, even if we're from different branches."

The governor ignored their squabble as he continued his speech: "And now, the moment you've all been waiting for! Pilots! Start your engines!"

The roar of spaceboat engines sounded across the shuttleport as the racers turned their machines on. The roar of the crowd, though mild in comparison, could be heard in the background as well.

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk, in his, looked longingly at the picture in his locket, holding it in his hand. 'Lend me your strength upon this day, she-bondmate,' he thought. Immediately, he felt himself invigourated, if ever so slightly.

"3. 2. 1. START!"

The thrusters roared and the racers were off. Swiftly accelerating, they lifted off, leaving the shuttleport behind, and continued to accelerate, breaking the sound barrier. Northwards they sped, towards the alpine land, the cameras set by the designated route and the satelites filming their movement.

"Baron Üglûhk takes the lead of the flock as it speeds towards its first checkpoint in the Sacra Mountains! The racers have to fly inside the narrow valeys, unless they want time added to their clock."

The flock sped over the plains, reaching the distant mountains in minutes. The valeys were, indeed, narrow, created by the rivers flowing out from its highest peaks, further nothwards. They flew low, for those that flew too high would be penalised.

In a flurry of movements, Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk turned his boat left and right, following the turning of the narrow valley, speeding skillfully past the racer in the second place. The sound barrier had long been left behind. He noted Üglûhk flying in front of him. The xüündarin may have had a better, faster skycar, but his turns were not as good, forcing him to slow down in the current situation.

A sharp turn into a side valley. Polly kept gaining on Üglûhk. But the baron was aware of this, and made sure to block the psittack from overtaking him. Left. Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk flew higher, trying to go over him, but the baron ascended as well. Right. The valley narrowed into a gorge, with the lowest part leaving just enough space for a spaceboat to pass through. The psittack took the risk. Decending, he turned his boat sideways and...

"Sweet baby Yesus! What a balsy move, ladies and gentlemen! Let's take a look at an instant replay!"

The psittack had barely missed a rock formation and ascended quickly, ending up mere decimetres before Rüüđa house's craft, then accelerated, leaving the xüündarin behind. He needed to gain as much lead as possible, for after they flew out of the gorge, the race would lead them into space, towards one of Espera's moons.

Inside his craft, baron Üglûhk cursed Hurroke's racer's bloodline.

Onboard the Merry, Luffy cheered. "Hah! That was close!"

"Impressive maneuver," Zoro commented.

Nami sighed. "He's good. Let's hope he doesn't get himself killed."

"If he does get himself killed, he isn't good enough for us to hope that he doesn't get himself killed, not that hoping that he doesn't get killed will prevent him from doing so if he isn't good enough," Luffy stated. "But he is good enough for us, I'm sure of it, so he won't get killed and hoping for him not to get killed won't be necessary, for he is good enough... not to get killed."

Usopp, having stopped biting his nails out of nervousness, stared at him. "T-that's dark, mate."

Luffy just took another sip of rum.

The race continued, with the flock swiftly approaching the final Sacra checkpoint, at the footing of Mount Chill. The metal construct, big enough for six boats to fit through simultaneously, reqired them to fly below, just by the ground, then turn sharply upwards and ascend by the rocky mountainside.

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk, his face steeled, deadly focused, accelerated. His spacecraft was made for this - sharp turns at high speeds, even in air. In the corner of his eye, he could see the Pipistrellus racer overtaking him. He let him do so - Micki's spaceboat was good at sharp turns, but would have a hard time escaping the planet's gravity.

4 seconds. Micki was in front of him, speeding off.

3 seconds. Micki's craft started turning, the rear thrusters' power lowered.

2 seconds. Micki, fired his rear thrusters, propelling his ship upwards. Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk lowered the power of his rear thrusters.

1 second. Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk pushed the command yolk downwards. The gyro started to turn the boat.

1/2 a second. The psittack fired the small thrusters on the bottom of his boat.

0\. He fired the main thruster, A mighty force glueing him even further into his seat as his boat, a bare metre away from the rock, shot upwards, after the currently leading human.

With his thrusters working at full power, he passed Mt. Chill's peak in less than two seconds. When he reached the clouds, he also caught up with Micki. He flew past him and continued on his way. Soon, the sky darkened, with the sun's rays growing brighter. The cockpit remedied that by darkening the window.

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk set his boat on corse towards Espera's first moon, Elay, putting his thrusters into the more powerful (and less envirnoment-friently) vacuum setting. It would take him a while to reach the moon. But that didn't mean he could lose focus. The flock was catching up with him. He looked on the screen displaying his rear camera's feed. He could already see them approaching, with Üglûhk, having overtaken Micki, in the front.

Down on Espera, crowds of people enthusiastically followed the race. In one of the booths, the Rüüđa team's manager, count Rüüfärz Baahrûn-fin Rüüđa stroked his sharp chin in thought. Üglûhk needed to win this race, not only to increase their houses standing in the royal court, but also to display to the Republic the superiority of Xüüfinic boats. The count noticed that his personal android approached him.

" _Xül-gif, ta-sirigerr intääre_ ," it said. 'My lord, the servant is in position.'

Rüüfärz's lipless mouth stretched into a smile. " _Gurrr_!" 'Good, lit. a sound one makes when pleased.'

After a while, the flock reached Elay. The path now led them a full rotation around the airless rocky moon, right by its crater-littered surface. Their checkpoints were the mines on the north pole, an observation post on the side of the moon currently facing away from the planet and the magnificent Quadcrater on the south pole.

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk once again fell behind, into the third place, as the flock sped across the barren surface of the moon. They flew over a dreary, grey landscape, over craters and planes, occasionally passing a mining outpost. The flight around the solid celestial body was uneventful. However, that did not ease the tension on Espera, in the Hurroke and Rüüđa camp.

Lhurr was nervously chewing on a Hurr-Burr (a snack made from Hurrwurree - a nut similar to an acorn - and Burrokk - a juice produced from the roots of the treeoids called Reeburr - which is shaped like a stick and is hard and crunchy). He never liked it when his racer was not in the lead, even if he still was among the leading three. In his culture, being anything less than the best was considered a defeat. In the words of Sanghto: 'In business, you either win, or you lose. Nothing in-between.'

Rüüfärz, though his racer was in the lead, was not calm either. In such races, foul play was not uncommon, and he firmly suspected a plot against his camp. The Xüüfin-Republic relation were getting worse each year, Sanghto was in cohoots with Terra... The common sentient perhaps enjoyed the entertainment of a good race, but the few who weren't ignorant knew that such events were extremely political.

The racers made it around Elay and set their corse towards Espera's other moon, Volay. This one, currently 100 degrees away in its orbit around the planet, had a slightly bigger distance from Espera and was slightly larger. It was known for its large caves, through which the flock would have to race. It had boggled scientist for quite a long time as to how those caves came to be. Volay was, like Elay, a barren world, with no atmosphere, water, let alone life. However, it was discovered that, millions of years ago, the moon was terraformed by one of the Ancient Civilisations. They kept the atmosphere together with a strong artificial gravity field, the likes of which was beyond what any of the current civilisations could produce.

In a swift swoop, the flock of racers descended upon the other barren, grey world orbiting Espera. Üglûhk was still in the lead, followed by Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk, then Trrightrra, Micki and the rest of the flock. Their destination? A narrow shaft, bored into the ground. A mineshaft. At breakneck speeds, the flock flew into the hole. One after the other, they entered the narrow tunel. One in the back, in the 32nd place, was unlucky enough tho scrape the edge, causing him to lose control of his boat and crash kilometres below.

However, he didn't obstruct the racers behind him, for the shaft ended in a gigantic cavern. The race went on, with the pilots, in another breakneck maneuver, turned their crafts ninety degrees and in the horisontal direction through the cave system.

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk sped through the karstic caves, dodging speleothems, gaining on Üglûhk. In the darkness of the underground, he saw his boat, only a tenth of a second in front of him. And the xüündarin was well aware of this, and made sure that the psittack couldn't get past him, flying right in front of his nose whenever he tried.

The psittack suddenly noticed Trrightrra flying next to him. He, too, was trying to pass Üglûhk. And the xüündarin wouldn't be able to block them both. So, they shortened their distance to the leading boat. They were swiftly approaching two narrow holes, with the left one being the one they had to pass through. As Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk was on the left side, he made to pass Üglûhk on the left, while the sargeant took the right. The baron, in the hundreth of a second, reacted to block the psittack, but as soon as he noticed Trrightrra passing him, he flew left. However, he was too late. And this maneuver also let Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk fly next to him.

Now, he couldn't block him. He tried intimidating him by banking his boat slightly towards him, but that only enticed the Hurroke pilot to go faster. As the xüündarin returned his attention to what was in front of him, he realised that he was flying straight into a wall, the one between the two holes. He reacted swiftly and, with a growl of anger, flew through the right one. Which was the wrong one.

"Uh-oh! Looks like Häänxu-fin is flying off the track. Until he rejoins the flock, he'll receive half a second penalty each second!" the announcer proclaimed. In his box, Rüüfärz cursed and punched the nearest thing, which happened to be his android robot.

The left passageway led straight out of the caves and into the sky. The psittack overtook the sargeant and escaped Volay's gravity. By the time Üglûhk made it out of the caves, he was already half-way back to Espera. The baron had fallen to the 15th place - 26th if you include the penalty.

The flock approached Espera's atmosphere. Micki, having passed Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk, was the first to start reentry. His, as well as all other pilots' boats, were engulfed in a bright fire as their shields took in the heat caused by atmospheric drag. Their crafts' kinetic energies decreased, with their speeds falling to just a few times the speed of sound.

They reached the ground in a desert, a few thousand kilometres out of Esperaburg, decending into a canyon. The Colored Canyon, as it was called, ran kilometres upon kilometres through the desert, leading right to the West Ocean, across which stood Esperaburg, and was the next part of their race track. Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk overtook Micki, as he was, there in the midst of sharp, deadly turns, back in his element. He sped ahead, gaining a good lead.

A couple of hundred of kilometres away, a xüündarin lay upon a ledge overlooking the canyon. In his hands, he held a ground-to-air missile launcher, a JÜ-2 series, manufactured in the forges of the planet called Barony of Grääföörz. 'The one in the first place,' he thought to himself, recalling the message he received not seconds ago.

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk looked at what was behind him. Üglûhk was gaining on him, driving his boat to its limits, barely making some of the sharp turns. Left. He got right behind the psittack. Right. He used the turn to fly next to him, on his right. Another right. Try as he might, he couldn't pass him. Suddenly, the Hurroke pilot noticed something flying towards him, from his left. A rocket. He descended quickly, flying under it. Üglûhk, however, failed to notice it. His craft was destoyed by the explosion.

"Oh... Oh!" the announcer exclaimed. "That... Well, that was. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm at a loss for words. What was that? Who fired that missile? I... wait, I'm being contacted from the studio..."

In his box, Rüüfärz stared at the screen. Then, in a fit of anger, he grabbed his android and ripped its head off. " _GRRRAAAAAAA_!" he roared. " _TEE_ _ARÄ_ _TA_ - _SIRIGEREF_ _GRÄÄMPE_ !" 'Bring me the servant!'

" _Ur_ , _Xül-gif_ ," the head in his hands said. 'Yes, my master.'

"... Well, the studio has just reminded me that our sponsors, Nesston's Nutrients, invites you all to try some of the nibbles they have prepared to you outside the shuttleport," the announcer said. "Nesston's Nutrients! Nutritious and delicious!" Then an audio clip played, going so quick that nobody caught a word: "Nesston's Nutrients does not take responsibility for loss of life. All ingredients are listed for the consumer. Consume at your own risk."

Splashing the water with his supersonic flying, the psittack crossed the ocean. He flew over the gulf of Mejica and flew towards the finish line. "And Polly-rut-... And the Hurroke pilot wins with the time of 1 hour, 3 minutes and 12,23 seconds!" the announcer proclaimed. "Micki Schumacher comes in second, with +0,9 seconds! The third place is taken by sargeant Hungrro-sarr, with +1,2 seconds!"

After his mandatory extra fly-by, Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk landed his boat on the landing track. He sighed. The one ejoyable part of the day was now over. What was to follow was the attention of the ignorant masses and despicable media, followed by his boss' nagging. Or rather, the nagging was to come first, it seemed, as he noticed mr. Lhurr approaching his craft with his kahdon bodyguards. He didn't come to congratulate him. He came to see if the Hurroke spaceboat had sustained any damage.

" _Kwee groump ruweehuhi_ ," the swinher stated. 'You've damaged the nose.'

" _Weeruhkwee_ ," the psittack answered. 'Reentry.' " _Kwee greem krruudweeh sqweeeerrund ruhrhuhi_ ," 'You should have bought better shields.'

Lhurr clapped his three-fingered hands together, causing a 'clop' noise with his hooved fingers. One of the kahdons discretely delivered a blow to the psittacks neck. It wasn't strong enough to injure him. It was a nerve he hit, causing simply pain.

It was then that they heard an angry voice: " _TEE_! _TEE_! _TEE_ _RRU_ _ÜÜRÄÄFLE_!" 'You! You! You did this!'

They turned to see count Rüüfärz stomping towards them. He was flanked by seven of his knights, all carrying gunspears in their hands. He held an android's head in his right hand.

" _*Oink*ir nap-*hrurr* squelturheh_ , _hurr kree kwee hwrohwroh gruwoh squeler weerpheh_ ," the robot translated. 'My bossman sais that he wishes to speak to you about the event (what transpired earlier).'

Sqwee Lhurr, without missing a beat, accused the count of foul play, that he had tried to have his racer killed. Rüüfärz, of course, immediately denied the claims, citing the fact that it was, in fact, his racer that got killed. From there, it quickly degenerated into a shouting match, with the decapitated android doing his best to translate for them, as that was his duty, and change the river of profanities into intelligent dialogue. At one point, his processor couldn't take the pressure any longer, so he disabled the process designated 'Filter-so_that_master_doesn't_insult_someone' and joined the shouting of vulgarisms so vile that they couldn't make it into this story.

By the time Lhurr had called Rüüfärz retarded in every way possib,e and Rüüfärz had word-raped every single of Lhurr's ancestors since the times when the swinhers were the subjects of kahdon warlords, a group of Terran Government officials reached them. The four inspectors and two justiciars, as well as the governor, had run all the way from their booth, for as soon as they saw the two team leaders start to interact, they knew they had to act fast before they had an incident on their hands.

"Gentlemen, please!" the inspector from the Ministry of Truth tried to diffuse the argument. "Calm down! What is the cause for such shouting?"

The team leaders, both at the same time, shouted a flurry of words while pointing at each other. The android translated when they were finished: "My master states that this fat grandson of a peasant whore is motherfucking responsible for killing his pilot, whereas the swinher gentleman counters that my shit-brained master is lying and responsible for what had happened."

One of the justiciars, a young asiatic woman, hummed. "These are terrible accusations. Milord Honda?"

"Yes, milady Yu?" the other justiciar asked.

"I shall act as judge for this case. Have you any qualms with that, milord?"

"I have no qualm, milady. The case is yours."

"Cease this!" one of the inspectors interjected. He wore the symbol of the Ministry of External Affairs, a shape of an E.T. from a milenium-old Terran film. "This situation, I'm affraid, is beyond your jurisdiction. As an international incident, it should be mine to preside over."

"I agree with my coleague," the Infrastructure inspector said. "We need to keep our diplomatic relations in mind. Mr. Lhurr is a respected Sanghtan businessman. Sanghto & sons' has been a long-time partner of the Holy Republic. Count Rüüfärz has some standing in his nation's royal court. The Xüüfin Kingdom is a hornet's nest with the current political situation. Justiciars are welcome to help, but they should not take charge."

The justiciars shook their heads. "According to 638.12.23./9E, a social justiciar may elect to judge a foreigner if they are accused of commiting a crime in Republic space, regardless of their socio-economic standing."

"498.2.4./1A states that citizens of foreign political powers recognised by the Republic are to be judged by a Republic and a foreign official of the judicial branches of their respective governments," the External inspector countered. "Aditionally, 498.2.4./1B states that if those aren't available, then an official qualified for foreign diplomacy shall take over. That would be I, by the way."

"You question Her Laws!?" the female justiciar accused.

"You, you disrespect regulations!" the inspector shouted back.

"Pen pushers!"

"Gavel fuckers!"

"Bureaucratic drones!"

"Injustice warriors!"

Then, all of the officials pulled guns out of their coats, pointing them at each other. Governor Warner started backing away, raising his hands. "Whoah, whoah!... I think I hear my wife calling me. I'll leave you to your business." then he proceededto put as much distance between him and the angry bigwigs.

If they had the chance, the officials would have started a conflict between the executive and judicial branch of the Terran Government, right there and then. And Rüüfärz and Lhurr would have probably sparked a war of Galactic proportions. However, history took a different course, prolonged the peace between the two sides in the Galaxy.

For right then, in the military base in orbit around Espera...

"Sir!" a Marine stationed at the station's scanners called to the commanding officer on deck. "Some of those ships, sir, those orbiting the planet? They're powering up their shields and cannons."

"What? How many?"

"I count... 400, no 500. Wait, their markings are changing... No! Three skulls and four crossed bones!"

The commanding office gulped. "Dear god of war, help us. You! Red alert, all hands on deck!"

"Yes sir... wait, something's wrong! The system won't work!"

"What do you mean, soldier?!"

"My screen sais: 'You didn't say the magic word.'"

On Espera, all hell broke loose as a photon barrage of photon lances started to hit ground military outposts. Their light, and the powerful explosions they caused, reached the shuttleport, causing the itchy-fingered officials to look up. Hundreds of ships decended on the planet. It was a pirate raid. And it was a big one.

Lhurr gazed towards the sky. This certainly wasn't the way he had envisioned his day. Suddenly, he was knocked down, by none other than the count, who was uninterested in the raid. He just wanted the swinher to pay. Immediately, their underlings started to fight each other as well.

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk squaked. A pirate raid. He had heard of them, but most people were sure that pirates were so disorganised that they couldn't build forces past a few dozen ships. Mere flotillas. But this, this was a small fleet, led by an admiral, not a commodore. Photon lances bombarded the planet, with countless casualties. the psittack could feel it nearing. He would be severed from his body, before he found his she-bondmate. He raised his arms, closed his eyes and unfurled his wings. This was it. This was...

"Oy, Polly! Polly parrot! Stop pining or whatever it is you're doing!"

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk looked upwards. Above him, several dozen metres in the air, hovered a caravel-class starship, the Going Merry. And, in the open airlock, stood Luffy, holding a microphone to shout over the ships deep humming.

"Word of advice," the straw-hatted captain continued, "If you don't want to join the choir invisible, I, if I were in your position, would come with whomever would be in my position."

The psittack stared at him. Was this his chance? His way out of debt? His way to find her?

"Oh, and I would also make the decision quickly, because the person in my position wouldn't wait for too long with FECKIN' PHOTON LANCES SHEITING ALL OVER THE PLACE!"

That was the boost Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk needed. Without further ado, he stroke with his wings. Once. Twice. Third time, and he was caught by the hand by Luffy, who was now smiling widely. "Welcome aboard. I'll get you the membership contract later, first we've got to haul or behinds out of this system.

"Agreement," the pilot stated.

They both ran towards the bridge, where they found Nami at the rudder, Zoro at the Crow's Nest system and Chouchou in front of the captain's chair, sitting proudly. Usopp was already on the cannon deck.

"Chouchou, you arerelieved from duty as acting captain! Nami, take the navicomputer, prep the warp jump! Zoro... stay where you are! And Polli..."

"Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk."

"Polly, take the rudder!"

The pilot took the rudder. He took a look at the controls. Old, this was a caravel after all, but not exactly outdated. Simple and straghtforward too. Shouldn't be a problem. He flew them out of the atmosphere and into the chaos in orbit. The hundred ships left there were fighting the Marine garrison of two hundred, who were having problems with their communications system, putting them at a great disadvantage. Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk, showing no visible emotion plughed through the wreckages of the sunk ships. Then, he hit something.

"The size will be something to get used to."

Luffy, sitting on the captain's chair, adressed Nami: "How are those warp parameters coming?"

"Caculating the current coordinates of planets in the Neremore system..."

" _Capitán_ , two ships are following us!"

"Right! Usopp!"

"Bloody hell! They're those from yesterday!" came the Syrupishman's voice over the comm.

"Nami, get us out of here!"

"Systems booting, warp in thirty seconds!"

Shots were fired from their pursuers, from their laser cannons. They missed, their new pilot dodged them like the pro he was.

"Grav megamanipulators warmed up. 15. 14. 13. 12. Forming graviton field around the ship. 10. 9. 8. 7. Curving space. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Warp!"

In a beam of light, the ship disappeared, the beam itself following its direction, but significantly slower. The Straw Hats escaped.

On Espera, a certain swinher, having fought off a mad xüündarin noble, finally realised that his debtor was gone. He squealed and, in an angry movement, grabbed his debtor leash and pressed the button. However, the psittack had left the system by then, and the detonator's signal did not exactly travel faster than light. The businessman threw the detonator on the floor and stomped on it repeatedly. Once he was done, he gazed into the burning sky.

" _*Oink* kwee grufruhahu_ , _Polly_! _Uhruwee*Oink* ruureeqee Reeqweesurgh grafrawee kreeweezhah_!" he declared. 'I will find you, Polly! Even if I have to search the whole Galaxy!'

* * *

Undisclosed location.

"S.A."

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. I want your opinion on something. An organic brain should have the answer."

"Yes?"

"The incident, five days ago on Espera. There was a confrontation between two upstanding members of Xüüfin and Sanghto, followed by a confrontation between inspectors and justiviars, then a pirate raid. The media are only reporting the raid, but those in power over the Galactic empires are in the know of what had transpired. How does it affect the political scene?"

"... Well, you mudt be talking about the race? Üglûhk was a beloved figure for both the peasantry and the nobility of Xüüfin, his death would surely impact them. But not too highly, since the royal family is currently trying to decrease the power of the Rüüđa house. The pirate raid is one of the biggest since the fall of Gold Roger. The justiciars and inspectors, however, shouldn't cause too much a fuss, since their bosses will be trying to keep it as discrete as possible."

"Should three percent added to the Galactic tension suffice?"

"Yes, I think they should."


	13. The First Raid

**What is this? Do mine eyes deceive me? A new chapter?**

* * *

Zoro awoke with a start. Looking around, he realised that he was in the bed in his cabin aboard the Going Merry. His bunk was moist from his sweat and smelt salty. He put his hand over his forehead, realising that he was breathing as if he had just run a marathon. His head was ringing, filled with the voices of his past. Realising that he couldn't go back to sleep, he threw off his blanket and stood up.

Barring the humming of her engines, the ship was quiet, as all of her small crew were asleep. Well, the pilot wasn't asleep. The newest adition to the crew was simply in a meditative trance at the ship's helm, having stated that psittacks didn't sleep. So much the better, Luffy had decided, Polly would be able to respond at a moments notice if something happened; the ship was currently warping between stars, at her top speed of 3 parsecs an hour, which was quite the speed considering her size and the fact that she had an amateurishly updated hundred-year-old warp drive.

Zoro made his way down the quiet, dark corridor towards the mess hall. He passed metallic-gray hatch doors of empty cabins. Someone else might have stopped to think about the fact that most of the ship was empty. He didn't. He had other things on his mind and was on his way to fix that. His silent walk led him to the hatch at the end of the corridor.

The mess hall was big. Big enough to hold a crew of a hundred people. However, empty as it was, the sight of the place was somewhat... ominous. It was that feeling one got when boarding a ghost ship, orbiting in an uninhabited star system. Such a big space, that had housed a crew of explorers, or merchants, or soldiers... And no one was there. Not a sound - though, in Zoro's case, the low humming of the ship's warp core washed some of that feeling away.

The kitchen was on the other side of the mess hall. It was the place where the crew's nutrition officers - in some circles known as cooks - once worked to provide the caravel's crew with their daily rations of vital substances, prepared with the crew's physiological and psychological well-being in mind. For the Straw Hats, it was the place where they stored their food - the two large fridges and three cabinets were enough for a crew their size.

Zoro took a litre big bottle of Syrupish Alldwin's Ale from the fridge. He opened it and poured the drink into a half-litre glass. With the glass and bottle in his hands, he walked back into the hall, to drink quietly. Just as he entered the mess, however, he noticed that he had missed something, or rather someone, earlier. Luffy was sitting in one corner, something in his hands and an empty glass on the table. He waved for Zoro to join him.

As he sat down, Zoro noticed what the thing, which was collar shaped, in Luffy's hands was. "Useful things these slave collars... or debtor collars, as is in our case," Luffy stated. "They use a sentient's most primal fear - the fear of death, that is - to make them do virtually anything. It's like... like manipulating people into loyalty, just much easier."

Zoro nodded. "But they can be taken off."

"Not everyone has someone like Usopp nearby," Luffy replied. "Lad has a nack for mechanics and electronics. But aye, now that I think about it, all that power, that control... as soon as you lose it, it will backfire. Lose it and you get lynched... Fun times... If you're in the lynch mob." He hummed. "Anyway... Can't sleep?"

Zoro sighed. "Bad dreams."

"What about?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"It might help if you talk..."

Zoro chuckled. "That's what they always say in the cartoons, don't they?"

"I know, not very original. But seriously, it does help. Some people go to see a neuro, others go to confession and the smart ones go to a tavern, get drunk and blabber it out to fellow drunks. So, what's bothering you."

"Dreams... dreams of my past."

Luffy leaned in. "Do tell. I love sob stories. They remind me that other people... Well, misery loves company is what I'm trying to say.

"This is a long one, _capitán_."

"Pour me a drink then. It's still hours till the next system and there's not much to do here but drink and talk."

And Zoro did so, pouring his captain a drink. Clinking their glasses together, they toasted to each other's health, took a sip of the brown liquid and savoured the bitter nutty taste with a hint of fruity sweetness. Then, the swordsman took a deep breath and began his story.

"I should start at the beginning, I think. Well, I come from Feudal Planet Escarchluna, a large moon in orbit of a gas giant in the Tijuana system. You probably know it. It has the largest martial arts school in the Blue Sector."

"Swordfighting Arts School of Escarchluna..."

" _Si_. I... I was an orphan, you see. One of the masters took me in, as a favour, he said, to my parents. Koshiro Isshin, the _kenjutsu_ master."

" _Kenjutsu_?"

"One of the Arts. An old Nihonese fighting stile, 2000 years old. Koshiro enrolled me and, every day after school, I trained. The masters taught me the many forms of swordfighting: the Human schools, the Xüüfinic paths, the Marpopul modes... They said I was a natural."

"You must be. That style you use, with three swords? I don't think I've ever even heard of anyone fighting like that."

"I call it _Santoryu_. It's my own fighting style, one I've developed."

"Impressive."

" _Gracias_. So, over the years, I managed to best every student and teacher at the school, except for one. Koshiro's daughter, Kuina. She was something else. By the time we were sixteen, we'd fought thousands of times. None of them my victories. It frustrated me to no end. I kept challenging her and losing to her... And thus we ended up spending time together."

"Sounds like you had a thing for her."

"I... We had a thing, if that's how you'd call it."

"Hah! You dog! Nice one! Good old slash, swing, poke, then put the sword in the scabbard, eh? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more?"

"We 'had' a thing," Zoro emphasised the 'had'.

"What do you... Oh!"

"When we were sixteen, things had started to change. We grew and my losses started to get closer and closer. After a duel which actually ended in a draw, Kuina said that I was going to surpass her. I wasn't sure what she meant, so I asked. She simply said that I was a boy and she was a girl."

"Ah, yes. Sexual dimorphism. Human males tend to be better suited for combat."

"That's what she meant. She said that she once wanted to become the greatest swordsman in the Galaxy. But she had come to realise that the goal was beyond her reach. So, she asked me to do it in her place. I swore to her then that I would surpass every swordsman in the Galaxy. I told her that we'd travel together, see the stars, fight masters of other schools. But, the following morning, it all came crashing down.

The School was visited by Government inspectors. They said that all organisations of education and sports that operated outside the regular school system were now Government property. They had appointed a new headmaster, they gave us a new much simpler curriculum..."

"I remember that," Luffy put in. "They closed down a boxing club in Foosha. Terra had passed a new law about extracurricular education institutions, cyting a danger of Planets developing 'evil nationalist secessionist ideologies', which granted them the power to either shut down or weaken martial arts schools and the like."

"When Kuina heard of it," Zoro continued, "she was very upset. She yelled at the inspectors, told them they couldn't do that. But the inspectors said that they could and they had to. Kuina was starting to cry. And she didn't like people seing her cry. She decided to run to her room. But that's when it happened... On the way up the stairs she... she slipped... and..."

"Take your time," Luffy said, taking his flask out. "Also, a sip of something stronger might help."

Zoro, rejecting his captain's flask, raised his glass of beer and took a big gulp. "She slipped on the stairs and... fell. She broke her neck... By the time the paramedics arrived, her... her brain was... beyond repair."

The two were silent for a while, letting that sink in. Luffy noted the single tear falling from the swordsman's right eye. "You're serious?" the captain finally asked. "You're not pulling my leg? She fell down the stairs?"

"Ah, _si_. Is... What are you getting at?"

"Nothing, nothing," Luffy quickly defended. "It wasn't the cause of death I expected, but I guess we don't live in some comic book, cartoon or film where deaths are always overly dramatic and the more important a character is, the longer his death takes."

Zoro, unamused stared at him for a few moments. "... Anyway, after that, I decided to leave. I was sixteen standard years, by Escarchlunic law of age. Master Isshin gave me this." He put one of his swords on the table. "It's called Wado Ichimonji, Straight Road of the Harmony. It's a vibrosword." Luffy took a closer look at the _katana_ sword. He noted that, indeed, between the straps on it's grip, there was an on/off switch and a vibration power scrolling wheel. The guard was thicker than on Zoro's other two swords. The blade itself wasn't made of metal either, but of a metalic-looking polymer. The Straw Hatted teen wasn't exactly an expert on swords, but he was aware that in all crafts, from weapons to starships, the right polymer trumped bronze or steel any day.

"Its battery is empty," the captain commented.

"It is. There has been no battery in it for decades. I've tried to find one, but I haven't found a replacement since leaving Escarchluna."

"But they sell them in every better weapons shop..."

"It's a costum sword," Zoro continued, ignoring the comment. "It should have been Kuina's, but master said that with her... with her gone, I had to carry on the Isshin family's legacy. And I did so. At first, I hitch-hiked from Planet to Planet, looking for swordsmen to fight. But I learnt that the life of the towel was shunned. Life cost more than 12 credits a day. So I entered the only work I knew how to do, other than the Marine that is. I became bounty hunter. I was a wanderer since then."

They were silent for a few minutes, staring at their almost empty glasses. The low humming of the ship's engines continued, informing them that she was still sailing through interstellar space. Zoro lifted his glass and finished his drink, wiping his mouth afterwards with his hand. "So, what about you, _capitán_?" he then asked. "You have parents?"

Luffy hummed. "Orphan, like you. Yay! Misery loves company!" he answered with a relatively small smile. "I never knew my mother, as for my old man, well... I only came into contact with him a few years ago. In a word, he's a git."

"That so? And what does he say about your dream? Not supportive?"

"No, no support at all. He says that it is an idiotic, childish ambition that will never ammount to anything. Meanwhile, he wants me to support his very intelligent and totaly adult ambition. But I'll show him. The only reason history will remember him will be beacause he was the father of the Pirate King."

The Straw Hat then raised his glass and finished his ale.

* * *

"Exiting warp in three... two... one..."

The ship slowed down some fifty thousand kilometres above a red barren world. The pilot immediately turned her in a horisontal position relative to the planet. The old caravel turned quite quickly, as its gyre had been replaced with a newer model, one used by contemporary ships, and the auxiliary side-thruster-based turning system didn't need to be used. the psittack then fired the main thruster, accellerating for a few seconds, before shutting it down.

"We have a stable orbit," he said emotionlesly.

"Good. We have a few hours before the warp core recharges. So, how do we pass the time?" Nami asked.

"I'll train a bit," Zoro said from the Crow's Nest seat.

"I'm teaching Chouchou a new trick," Luffy said from the captain's seat, scratching said dog's chin. "If I can think of anything this boy can't do. Seriously, watch this!" He took his flask out of his pocket, shaking it to indicate that it was empty. The dog ran off from the bridge and soon returned with a bottle of rum in his mouth.

"Yes, speaking of tricks," Usopp said from the communications seat, "anyone want to see a magic trick?" He took out a deck of cards and shuffled them. "Okay, pick a card, any card." Polly decided to humour him and took a card. "Look at it, remember it, don't show it to me." Usopp then took the card back and shuffled the deck again, then put it on the command console. He showed his hands for all to see that they were empty. "But what's this?" ha said and reached into the psittack's feathers. He pulled out of them a card. "Is this your card?"

"... No."

"Gah! I... knew all along that it wasn't your card!"

"Of course you did," Nami said, unimpressed. "The chances of your finding the correct card are very very small."

The psittack squaked. "That's not the only thing around here that's very very small. For instance-..."

"Ay!" Zoro interrupted. "Another ship! There's another ship in orbit of this planet!"

"Speak of improbability and it shall happen," Luffy stated. "Class?"

"Uh, no idea," Zoro answered. "It's our ship's size. Got a small and very ornamented ram, bridge seems to be on heavens side, very few cannony bits. There's this shape on it's blue flag, three lines sticking out, one up, one left and down, one right and down, and letters between them: N, I and Co."

Luffy grinned. "A New India Trading Compay merchantman! And all alone on its own without anyone else! Oh lucky, fortunate, odds-favoured us!" He stood up. "Gentlemen! Lady. That includes you too, Chouchou. As captain, the executive leader of the Straw Hat Republic, I propose a declaration of war on that ship over there. With the following war goal: the... liberation of all the valuables in their hold."

Nami stood up furiously. "Raid! RAID! You said you weren't like the other pirates, stealing and raiding the weak!"

"I never said that, lassie," Luffy answered. "I only said that a wide variety of people could be considered pirates. Besides, what is the problem?"

"What is the problem!? I told you when we met, you dumbass, I only steal from criminals!"

"Like I said, what's the problem?"

"I... huh?"

"I don't follow," Zoro said.

"The NIT co," Luffy explained, "Is your prime example of a massive corporation, creating individual profit without individual responsibility. It is a family business, which has been dividied between heirs for five generations. It is the trading company that holds almost complete monopoly over all trade in the Republic. They can influence prices, put small companies out of business, topple governors, and each of its owners gets only five percent of the guilt. Now that's criminal, yet legal."

"... When you put it that way..." Nami said, "I'm in."

"Alright. All in favour?" the captain asked.

"Aye." " _Si_." "Yes." "Woof!"

"Good! Time to indulge in the pirates' favourite economic activity: stealing from the rich - i.e. anyone that isn't us - and giving to the poor - i.e. us! Usopp, go to the cannon deck! Nami, take Usopp's place at communications! Zoro, stay at the Nest! Polli... Polliter..."

"Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk."

"Polly, match the merchantman's velocity vector! And Chouchou, sit on my lap for emotional support!"

The pirate ship approached the merchant ship, donning their true colours, the Black Flag, on their hull. With precise bursts from the thrusters, the pilot, conserving fuel, moved them towards their target. In a few minutes, the merchantman became visible to the naked eye.

Luffy, taking a fist-sized silver microphone from the captain's seat, formed a mad grin on his face. "Open communications with them, Nami. Maybe they can be reasoned with."

A few seconds later, an image of the merchantman's bridge appeared on their main screen. It looked similar to theirs, except cleaner, with more sailors at the controls, all wearing the standar civilian sailor's white uniforms, with the symbol of NIT co. on them. At the centre of the bridge sat the captain, a middle-aged man of semitic descent, with a magnificent beard and a cap covering his curly hair.

"Alright, you lubbers!" Luffy started. "I'm captain Luffy and I'm here for your valuables!"

The merchant captain huffed. "And we're to give them to you, just like that?"

"That was the idea, yes."

The bearded man rose. "How old are you, boy?"

The pirate tapped his microphone. "Seventeen Terran. Which is none of your business! I can drink what I want!"

"I'll have you know, kid, that I fought in the Pirate War. I was at the Siege of Mariejois and the Retaking of Logueworld. So, I, captain Rotbord give you this chance to back off while you still can. Because once you fire those cannons, you'll pass the point of no return. So, what'll it be, Straw Hat Luffy?"

The two bridges were dramatically silent for a few moments. Then Luffy, the mad grin still on his face rose from his seat, Chouchou promptly jumping off, and stretched his hynds outwards with a laugh. Then, he swished the microphone back to his lips, which suddenly tightened into a more serious expression. "That's 'captain' Straw Hat Luffy!... No, captain Monkey D. Luffy! Bugger!"

"Wait! Monkey D.-..." the trader started, but the pirates had cut the line.

"Alright crew!" Luffy cried into the microphone. "Let battle commence!" He sat back down, the dog returning to his lap, while eyeing the microphone in his hand "Awesome mic..."

Though Usopp was the only one managing the cannons, which caused them to be aimed a bit more slowly, they soon opened fire. The heavens and starboard cannons hammered at the merchantman's energy shields. The traders opened fire as well, but Polly skillfully evaded most of their laserfire.

"Focus our shields in the front!" Nami shouted.

"Good idea!" Luffy answered, typing away on his computer. The shields' power was focused at their bow and the enemy laserfire had less a chance of overloading their generator, or passing a shot through the enetgetig barrier of vibrations.

The merchants, however had anticipated this. They started throwing stray shots to the edges of the pirates' shield. But they didn't account for the psittack pilot's skill. "Whoah, that was close!" Luffy exclaimed. "Good flying, Polly!"

"Just here to help. Now go hike, mammal."

The battle continued, with the exchange of laserfire showing nos signs of stopping. Blue explosions of light appeared in the space slightly away from the two ships as the energy from the lasers was distributed around, destroying the light streaks' focus.

"Polly!" Luffy finally decided. "Position the bow to aim directly at the enemy! I have a plan!"

"A plan? Ancestors help us all." Despite his remark, he did as he was told. Their laserfire subsided as the ship got into position.

Luffy took the microphone to his mouth. "Ello there, crew! This is your captain speaking! I proudly inform you that we're firing the main gun!" He typed on his keyboard. "I'M AFIRING MY TORCHA!" Then, he violently hit enter.

While it wasn't exactly a photon lance, the Torcha was, indeed, a powerful laser cannon, as seen from Buggy's demonstration. A powerful light hit the merchantman's shield, the barrier growing brighter and brighter. A few seconds passed and the barrier dispersed, the sheild generator being overloaded. A slight dent was also made on the ship's hull before the volley ended.

Luffy stared, wide-eyed, before yelling: "WOOOO! That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

"I'd advise against it," Nami said. "Our power usage went way over nine thousand."

"... Nine thousand what?" the captain asked.

"No, no," she replied. "Gigawatt." She turned back to communications. "Oh, wait, they're... they're white-flagging!"

"Huh," the pirate with the straw hat said in mild surprise. "So they can be reasoned with..." They opened communications again. "What? The veteran of both the decisive battles of the war is surrendering?"

The merchant captain grunted. "They don't pay me enough for this..."

"How nice of them! Prepare to be boarded, lubbers!"

As the line was cut, Nami turned to the captain. "I'm not sure if you noticed, but there's only five of us."

"Woof!"

"Six, sorry, Chouchou. Still, there must be, like, a few dozen of them. How do we go about it?"

Luffy stroked the dog's head, smiling at him. "I have an idea..."

* * *

"Alright, you lubbers! No funny business or the dog gets it!"

Luffy's threat was met with confused stares. He, Usopp, Zoro and Chouchou had come to the merchantman's bridge, where all of her officers were gathered, their hands in the air. The pirate captain was aiming one of his pistols at the dog's head.

"Kill it, it's not one of ours," the NIT co. captain said after a few moments of awkward silence.

"Damn it!" Luffy cursed. "The NIT co. employees are as soulless as the rumors say!" He lowered the gun and looked around the bridge. He noticed the merchantman's communications officer, a pale-faced blonde woman in her early twenties. "Alright!" he said, grabbing her and fixing the gun on her temple. "No funny business or she gets it!" This time, the merchants' gazes showed fear. He grinned in victory.

"Uh, I don't get it..." Zoro said. "Are they soulless, or...?"

"It's quite elementary, my swordsman," Luffy said. "The lass aboard is the sweetheart adored by every crew!"

The merchant captain spoke: "The cargo is below, in deck three. Just don't hurt her."

Luffy hummed. "And what are you carrying?"

"Just computers and communicators, nothing more."

"Good. Order all your crew to the mess hall."

As the merchants moved towards the dining hall, the pirate captain adessed his hostage: "What's your name, lass?"

"H-H-Helda. Helda Vrawn."

"Well, miss Frown, be nice. It'll all be over quickly. If nobody decides to play the hero, that is." He took her to Usopp. "I'll leave you in the hands of my main gunner, mister Kirk."

"Y-yes, no sudden moves... no funny business, lady," the Syrupishman stammered.

"And stop stuttering, Usopp! You're scaring her!"

They locked the merchant crew in their mess hall, then moved downstairs, to deck 3. The big chambers of the cargo hold were mostly empty, only a few metal crates here and there. While Usopp guarded the hostage, Luffy and Zoro began loading the crates on carts and pushing them to the ship's hatch, where the Going Merry had docked.A while into the job, Luffy stumbled upon something. Or rather, someone.

"Oy! Ya! Keep... away! No... no... come no closah!"

Standing before him - well, struggling to stand - was a black-haired young man, probably a little older than him. He was tanned, wore sunglasses and had a symbol Luffy didn't recognise on his left cheek. He had a cutlass in his hand, which he was leaning on in order to stand. Despite his obvious fatigue, his scowl, directed at the young pirate, gave him a determined look.

"Oy'll... kill ya,... keep... away!"

Behind him, the captain noticed another youth. This one was lying on the floor, but looked awake. He, too, had a sword, lying next to him, but looked in no shape to use it. Next to him, there were two backpacks, but they looked empty.

"Now look," Luffy started. "I may have killed in cold blood before, but I'm not a cold-blooded killer. I'll just rob this ship of all she has, leave her crew enough food to make it to the next port and leave. Now, if you two are slaves, you aren't worth stealing, so you have nothing to worry about."

The man standing before him coughed. "Oy'll... show..." But he lost his balance before he could finish and fell to the ground. "Ya... filthy... poirate... Anothah step and oy'll... oy'll..."

"Ay!" Zoro interrupted. "What is all this noise about?" He noticed the fallen youth. "Johnny?" He then noticed the other man, who had been lying the whole time, silently. "And is that Yosaku?"

"One improbability after the other..." Luffy commented. "A hundred billion humans in this galaxy, and you know these two?"

" _Si_ , _capitán_. They're fellow bounty hunters."

"Zoro..." Johnny managed out. "Big... brah..."

"What happened to you two?" Zoro asked. "You look worse than after that business on Sir's Luck!"

"We're stowing away..." His stomach growled loudly.

Luffy whistled. "I know that sound. It is stomachese for 'Feed me.'"

"When was the last time you two ate?" Zoro inquired, helping Yosaku up.

"Just... just a few... hours ago," Yosaku chimed in. Hi voice was quiet and raspy. "We always carry our food with us."

Without skipping a beat, he began coughing, before throwing up. But barely anything came out of his mouth. He coughed and choked, yet nothing came out, only a few drops of stomach acid. Zoro and Johnny rushed to help him.

"And what do you eat?" Luffy wondered, reaching into one of the backpacks. He pulled out a yellow plastic cylinder and read: "Nutriall. One capsule contains all the nutrients one needs to consume with a meal. Recomended dose: three a day." He shook his head. "You can't survive only on food suplements."

Yosaku continued to throw up, Johnny and Zoro rubbing his back. "Hell," the captain continued, "who makes this stuff?" He turned the bottle around. "Oh." The name of the producer surprised him little. 'Neston's Nutrients'. "You know, I heard they put narcotics in their food, to keep people pacified..." Looking at the two hungry bounty hunters, he sighed. "Let's wrap up here and bring them to the Merry, Zoro!"

* * *

"So, Usopp gets fifty household computers and a hundred communicators, you, Luffy, have the VR console and the..."

"The Marine grade Battle Board, Nami."

"Yes. And Zoro gets this fancy communicator..."

" _Bien_."

"... with a strong speaker, so that the alarm clock function will wake him up."

"... Hey!"

The crew was gathered in the mess hall, distributing the loot. Nami had the crew's logbook open on the computer on the table in front of her, where the data on all their plunder had been entered. Johnny and Yosaku were sitting nearby, eating. The crew had given them food, real food, and they were happy to dig in, even if all they got was canned fish.

"That was some escape though," the captain commented. "I still can't believe she believed you, Usopp."

When figuring out how to return from the merchantman without risking miss Vrawn telling the crew that they outnumbered the pirates, Usopp put the disarmed deptor collar around her neck and told her that if she moved from her spot in the next three hours, it would explode. And she believed it, giving the Straw Hat crew enough time to leave. She was probably still standing there, on the ship that was now a few hundred metres away from them.

"Oof!" Yosaku said, patting his belly. "Thanks guys! Didn' think we'd make it!"

"Yep," Johnny agreed. "Tasted loik sawdust, but this was the best meal oi've evah had."

"You're welcome," Nami said. "You know, in the old days, many exploration expeditions failed due to bad diets. Thus, people began to see the importance of a skilled diet specialist onboard a ship, especially when travelling to other planets, where a healthy body was necessary to combat the alien microorganisms. Now, every ship has to have a nutrition officer, to keep track of the food reserves and cook healthy meals." She directed that last part at the captain.

"I note that we lack one to prepare us a good meal though," Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk stated drily, opening a bag of seeds.

"Mhm, speaking of food," Luffy started, rubbing his stomach, "I could go for some... beef filet with grilled asparagi and potatos. But before that,... an asortment of dry ham and sausage, cheese and black olives... and _pâté_... And some red Germa wine..."

"Oh! And what would sir like for dessert?!" Nami asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Luffy, however, didn't notice it. "Mmm... some chocolate mousse..."

"I don't know if you've noticed, captain, but we have no cooks!" Nami said. "So, oh great leader, where are you planning to get all of that?! A space restaurant perhaps?!"

Having heard their conversation, Johnny raised his hand. "Oi know a place."


	14. Baratie, the Space Restaurant

**This chapter took me a while to make. It's a bit longer than the others, and I kept getting hungry while writing it. Anyway, have fun!**

* * *

"And this one, these are the Duett brothers, smugglahs worth 20 000 creds. This here is John the Slashah, serial killah with ovah 200 deaths on 13 planets on his conscience, 40 000 creds."

Luffy nodded in interest. Johnny was showing him som of the printed Republic issued wanted posters he and Yosaku were carrying around. They included everything, from interplanetary murderers, terrorists and smugglers to crime lords, political fugitives and, of course, pirates.

"And this?"

"Ohoho! This is Arlong the Saw, a fishman! He's worth 200 000 creds. But we're not going aftah him. That's way ovah our level. He's a mighty poirate with thousands of followahs. Besoids, no one knows where he's hoiding."

The captain hummed. "A nasty piece of work, this one. I've heard of him. Word is he's recruiting young marpapel, from all over the Galaxy, to restore their species' former glory or something along those lines. Heh. If you ask me, he'll end up hanging from a tree, the way he's throwing himself into the open."

He took a sip from his flask. "Nami! We there yet?" When he got no answer, he looked towards where the navigator was sitting, at the navicompiter. She was competely still, distantly gazing into the rapidly passing space outside, her glass of cytrus juice in her hand. Just moments before, she had been doing something on her computer. "Oy, Nami!" Luffy called again. "Nami!"

She blinked and quickly turned towards him. "Wh-... what is it?" she responded.

"How long till we get there?"

"There's... there's five more minutes." Her voice was slightly shaky, but she did her best to mask it.

"Anything troubling you?"

"N-no." She shook her head. "I'm fine. Fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Well, I am."

"Look, if this is about your drinking problem, I promise not to judge."

"Wh-... I don't have a drinking problem, dumbass! Where did that even come from?!"

"Yes, I wonder..." the pilot commented dryly, though his attention was never diverted from the helm.

"Just lay off, will you!" the navigator finished.

The captain frowned, stroking Chouchou, who was sitting in his lap, in thought. "What do you think boy?" he muttered lowly to the dog. "If not alcoholism, what's troubling her? Is she homesick? No, I don't think so. Is she in love? Heh, not likely. Is guilt gnawing at her for robbing a merchant ship? As if! She was more than happy with the booty. Heh, booty." Realisation suddenly dawned on him. "No. Is she..." He gazed down at the fighthound, who was giving him an expectant gaze. "She is, isn't she?" The canine opened his mouth and whined softly.

Zoro entered the bridge. He nodded at Johnny, who, returning the gesture, excused himself from the deck. Yosaku was still feeling unwell and it was decided that he should be watched, in case of complications. Despite his poor state, however, the young bounty hunter hadn't thrown up the food the pirates had given him.

"Ah, Zoro! Perfect timing, we're just about to slow down to sub-light. How's your communicator, by the way?"

"Very good, _capitán_. I'm still learning all of its functions though," the swordsman answered, proceeding towards the CN computer.

"Great! Oh, and be careful around Nami, it's her cyclical."

The moment he said that, a glass came flying across the bridge, hitting his left cheek. He fell over the right arm of his seat, his face deformed and his neck stretching ten centimetres. He picked himself up with a groan, rubbing his chin. There were no injuries due to his rubber-like qualities, but it hurt nonetheless. He didn't need to ask who had thrown the glass. A few paces away from him stood Nami, glaring at him as if he had just murdered her whole family.

Zoro smirked at them, attracting the navigator's attention. "Hey!" she snapped. "No comments!" The swordsman huffed arogantly, glaring back at her.

The psittack at the helm scoffed. "Mammals..."

"What was that?!" Nami demanded.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," Polly raised his hands defensively. "Just marveling at how tactful you humans are... I'm impressed, to say the least, and I'm sure a troll employed as a shock trooper in a maraurding warband of Čarnodghurri wariors that got exiled from their own tribe for being too violent would be as well. He'd probably take notes..."

The bridge fell silent after that, the crew preparing for sub-light travel. The captain went back to petting Chouchou, keeping his gaze on his navigator. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was troubling her. But it seemed that she wanted to deal with it herself. Luffy admired that. And yet he wished to help. 'One needs to deal with one's own problems, but it doesn't hurt to request assistance,' he reasoned.

His train of thought was stopped when the ship almost instantly decreased speed, beeing thrown into the Sambas star system. The red star shone at them fifteen degrees to the right of their bow, about twenty light minutes away. Much closer, a good light second away, off their depths bow, they could see a multitude of grey objects. This was the asteroid belt, where their destination was located.

They flew in towards the sea of rocks, targeting a specific asteroid. Polly manevered them around the objects falling through space in the direction of the rock about 20 kilometres in diameter. As he got close to it, a couple of kilometres away from its surface, he turned the ship to the heavens where, on the asteroid's horison, a slope-like formation rose from its surface. As they passed over the hill, their destination came into view.

Situated at the centre of a crater seven kilometres in diameter was a frigate-class starship. She was anchored to the surface of the asteroid with hooks. The figurehead at the end of the ram was a giant fish head. She was painted light green, with the crossed fork and knife on the flag surface. On her sides, in thin and unimpressive letters, was her name.

"Baratie," Luffy stated. "The space restaurant. It's a restaurant... in SPACE!"

"Your words of wisdom will echo through the ages," Nami commented dryly.

Docked onto the Baratie's main hatch was corridor module, an old one probably repurposed from the remains of an abandoned research station which used to operate on this asteroid, which branched out into several corridors, about two dozen in total, which ended in a docking hatch. The structure itself covered most of the crater. On ten of those hatches, ships of various classes and even models were docked. There were four human merchant ships, two Sanghtite, two Marpopul ships, A Holy Church flying saucer, there was even a Territe wasp-shaped starship.

"Quite a lot of people here, it seems," Zoro commented.

"Of course," Nami responded. "Most of the trade from the Grand Line comes through this Province. And, with the rarity of populated worlds in the area, merchants that want to eat higher quality food would tend to stop at such a place."

"It's not just that," Johnny's voice came from behind. He and Yosaku had just entered the bridge. "They come for their... show. They have the Winking Waiters, who have their suggestive musical numbah, and if they're not enough, they have the Combat Cooks."

"Yosaku! Feeling any better, _compadre_?" Zoro asked.

The bounty hunter smiled. "The thought of their food made me hungry!"

Luffy grinned. "Good food, good music, good show..." He snapped his fingers. "Take us in, Polly!"

"Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk."

"That's what I said!"

Before the psittack could start the landing procedure, however, they were hailed. Looking at his screen, Zoro noticed a ship approaching them from the port side. A Marine ship. Luffy promptly answered the call.

"Hello, this is captain... John Swallow of the Going Merry, New India Trading Company. How can I help you?"

The man on the screen, a tanned man with combed pink hair and a scar on his right cheek, scowled. "You think me stupid? That flag on your hull is definitely a... Augenson, is it?... Yes?... It's definitely a Jolly Roger!"

The pirate stared at the Marine for a few moments. "Who was in charge of covering our Jolly Roger with the NIT co. flag?"

"You," Nami answered.

"Bah! Excuses, excuses!"

"I was just on patrol... and planning to give a lady some good time here on the Baratie," the Marine continued. "But this is my chance for a promotion... 'captain' Fullbody has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?... FIRE THE CANNONS!"

"SHIELDS!" Luffy immediately responded. A volley of lasers hit their energy shield. Luffy grabbed his microphone. "Usopp! Drop everything and man the cannons!" In a lower part of the ship, the marksman rose from a toilet seat and, pulling his pants up, clumsily scrambled upstairs.

"Uh, something's approaching at high speed," Zoro warned.

Pollirtkratcawtrnitrcawtrinkatk noticed it. "They're called torpedoes, to use a term not as broad as 'something'." He took evasive action, taking their ship depthwards and dodging the missile narrowly. However, it was a trap, for another torpedo was headed their way. However, due to the laws of mechanics, moving the ship back heavenswards took twice the energy.

Usopp tried, but failed, to intercept the missile with a cannon. It passed through their energy shields and hit their port side in the lower centre. The computer detected a breach in the engineering deck. Luffy had it sealed off.

Before any more fire could be exchanged however, the Merry received a call. Luffy answered it and two pictures appeared on the screen. One of the Marine, Fullbody, and one of a middle-aged man, the caller. Despite his age, the caller was the picture of a strong man, with a strong, well defined jaw and a powerful look in his eyes. His long blonde mustache was braided and stuck in a straight, diagonal position towards and a few centimetres beyond the sides of his face. He had an ill-kempt stubble on his chin. On his head rested a tall white hat, signifying his position as the chef of the Baratie's kitchen.

"Thar gonna be no battlin' within the space o' my restaurant!" the chef's voice boomed. It was raspy, yet powerful. "If y'all wanna play battleships, take it to tha otha side o' tha system!"

"Know your place, civilian!" Fullbody argued. "I'm doing my duty as a Marine by sinking this pirate!"

"Know yars, Marine!" the man boomed back. "This's my asteroid! I decide who eats! And I say all payin' costumers eat! And I don' tolerate people what attack my potetial costumers!"

"My superiors will hear of this!"

"I don' doubt that! I'll ask 'em about it tha next time thay come 'ere to eat!"

Fullbody glared, but said nothing. "You're lucky I'm here on a date, pirate!"

The video feed went off, only the outside of the ship remaining displayed on the screen. Luffy raised his hat and scratched the rim of his hair. "Okay then, let's assess the damage and then get to the restaurant."

* * *

"So, what do we have, mister Kirk?"

Luffy and Usopp were on the Merry's second biggest deck: the engineering deck. It allowed access to all her machinery, from the shield generator, thrusters, the frontal cannons, gravity manipulator, energy generator... But the biggest chamber housed their most complex piece of machinery: the warp core.

The explosion had damaged the hull in this very chamber, making a small crack. That was quickly fixed as the Straw Hats were carrying some hull foam whose particles, when sprayed from its gun into the crack, bonded onto the macromolecule material of the hull in seconds, with a momentary bright glow. However, the hull wasn't the only thing that got damaged by the explosion.

"Well, the computer says that the... 'graviton plotter' is 'decentralised'."

Luffy nodded. "And in Common?"

"That was Common! I'm not sure how I could make you understand though!"

"Okay, but you do understand, right?"

"W-... Of course I do! Do you doubt the great Usopp Kirk?"

"Do you, Usopp? Do you?"

"... No."

"But I though you were handy with mechanics?"

Usopp threw his hands up. "I am! With classic mechanics! This is a warp generator we're talking about!"

The captain hummed. "But can we fix it?"

Usopp sighed. "We can, probably. The computer should be equipped with blueprints and we could get it to walk us through it as well."

"Computer!" Luffy adressed it. "How long would it take to repair the damage to the warp core?"

The screen on the wall presented a loading screen, before letters appeared on it: '5 standard hours.' Below the writing, it provided the statistics it had used to get that conclusion.

"That's not so bad..." Usopp commented.

"Wait. Computer! Take into account that we don't have an engineer on board and answer the question again!"

This time, they were presented with a higher number, as well as an aditional sentence: '68 standard hours. Would you like me to walk you through?'

"Sixty-eight hours!? SIXTY-EIGHT HOURS!? We're stuck here for three days!?" Usopp's hands gasped at his hair as he shouted.

"More, unless you volunteer to work day and night," the captain stated. This only served to make Usopp more hysteric. "Alright, don't panic! I'll get the owner of the Baratie to let us stay while we make repairs. Let's go eat now. I could go for... a nice, juicy steak... onions and peppers, maybe carrots... and some fried potatoes... mmm..."

* * *

"'Állo, 'állo! Welcome to ze Baratíe, ze best food you can eat in space, etcetera, etcetera. My name is San-Jaques. Do you have a réservation?"

"Yes, under the name Fullbody," the Marine answered the blonde who had greeted him. The man looked young, around twenty. The black suit and tie gave him the dignified look of a classy waiter. However, his hair, brushed over his eye and the eyebrows ending in spirals, one at the outer end and the other at the inner, gave him a somewhat odd look, at least for a waiter.

"Ah, _oui_ , _oui_ ," the man spoke in a distinctive accent of the decendants of the colony ship Francia, nodding. He turned to Fullbody's date. "And who is zis... gorgeous _mademoiselle_?"

The Marine glared at him. "That would be my date-..."

"Shh..." he silenced the Marine. "It is somesing soft, delicáte. Somesing like Anette..."

"I'm Gertruda Ingeborg Moodie," the woman, an indeed gorgeous blonde, wearing a red dress, introduced herself.

"Gertruda..." the decendant of the Francians softly tried the name. "A beatiful name. You are, no doubt, named after a generous and wonderful person."

"After my grandma. She served on a tax collector ship until she married her captain and retired."

"A person of duty and moral integrity, I'm sure. Say 'állo to her for me, _mademoiselle_."

"She was hung for embezzlement before I was born."

San-Jacques led them to their table. The restaurant was fairly big, as the largest chamber in the cargo hold of the Baratie had been repurposed for it. The chamber was lightly decorated, with pictures of starships hanging from the walls and plastic flowers of various origins resting in vases on the many tables. The tables themselves were metallic and covered with white tablecloth. In the middle of the chamber, the tables gave way to a stage, where the floor was slightly raised.

As the Marine and his date sat at a small table in the corner, Fullbody asked San-Jacques: "Are you the only waiter?"

"Oh, _non_ , _non_. I am not a waiter. I am ze sous chef. I'm afraid all ze waiters had quit zeir jobs recently." He took off. "I will be right wis you wis ze wine."

Fullbody had a look around the chamber. True to the man's word, there were no waiters to be seen. The costumers, who had segregated themselves, each species sitting in their own corner, were instead waited on by the kitchen staff. A cook with ill-kempt facial hair and sunglasses was serving the five hchappas drinks; what the Cthulhumanoid filth was doing in these parts, Fullbody didn't know. A fat man with a bushy beard, who had just brought a bunch of swinher businessmen - who were sitting segregated from their kahdon bodyguards - drinks, was taking the order of the table around which some whuzhbos from Terr were sitting, their abdomens sticking out of their chairs behind them; one rarely saw the waspfolk outside the comfort of their hives, Fullbody mused. The same couldn't be said about the fishfolk, though. They were a common sight on major planets in Blue, as it was their ancestral territory from the times of the First and Second Marpopul Empire. Especially now, with that upstart Arlong. However, no one knew where that piece of carp was hiding.

Fullbody waved his thoughts away, remembering that he was on a date. So, he smiled at miss Moodie, one of the more stunning women he had taken out in the last year. He conversed with her lightly, passing in a few compliments here and there, until the sous chef arrived with their wine.

Fullbody tasted it. "Ahh, the sweet full taste of the fruit, the undertaste of an oaken barrel... This must be Porto Novan, Vintage 662, I would say." A smug smile was plastered on his face as he said this.

"Actually, zis is just last year's Esperan," San-Jacques corrected, a smug smile of his own plastered on his. "We forgot to tell you zat we ran out of Porto Novan, just sree days ago."

Fullbody scowled. He had specificly asked for the Vintage. After all, ladies liked men who knew wines. Instead of impressing his date, he had ended up looking lik a fool.

He angrily noted that the pirate from earlier had just entered the restaurant with his crew. He was rubbing his nose and the red-head was yelling something like: "The sign clearly said: 'Warning! Low gravity!'" The crew than sat down around a table - was that one a psittack? - while the captain went towards the stairs leading upwards to the kitchen and living quarters of the Baratie.

Fullbody shook his head as the sous chef turned temporary waiter brought him and his date soup. 'I'll show him to make me look like an idiot.' He discretely dropped a fly in his soup.

"Hey waiter!"

"Sous chef, _monsieur_."

"What is this in my soup?"

San-Jacques looked at the fly. "I am sorry, sir. I'm afraid I am not a bug expért."

"What is this fly doing in my soup, waiter?"

"Looks like ze backstroke. And it's sous chef."

"Are you mocking me, waiter?!"

"Sous chef. Don't worry, ze spider in ze salad will eat it."

The Marine was pissed. Not only was the waiter (sous chef) mocking him, he had also flirted with his date, who was giggling madly at his humiliation. He would take no more of it. He smashed the table, causing his plate to hit Gertruda and spill his soup over her.

"That's it! I demand satisfaction, you sleazy slime!"

The shout was heard across the chamber. All went quiet and gazed to watch. Moodie quickly started to beg Fullbody to stop, to forgive the sous chef, but he wasn't listening. He moved to punch the blonde in the gut. The man took the punch and was knocked back, sligthly bending over. He had a glare on his face that rivaled Fullbody's now.

"You spilt your soup. On your lady. _Monsieur_ , you've just done two sings I dislike. Squandered food. And harmed a lady..."

"Don't do it, Sanji!" one of the cooks yelled.

"Remember what happened last time!"

San-Jacques didn't listen. "So, I'm afraid that, as a gentleman, I have to beat you to a pulp now..."

* * *

"So, ya sayin' y'all needs ta fix yar warpy-thingy."

"Aye."

"And y'all might needs ta stay free days plus-minus few hours."

"Aye."

Zeff huffed. Luffy was most certainly impressed by his figure. A large man, probably as strong as a troll, he towered over him, even when sitting on his chair behind his desk in his office.

"I know how that feels," the chef said. "I was a pirate once too, ya know?"

"Really?"

"Yeah! Red-Leg Zeff, they's called me." he lifted his right leg over the table, revealing that it was, in fact, a cheap, thin prosthetic one. "Now I'm Peg-Leg Zeff. Heh!" He put the food down on the floor. "I guess y'all can stay."

Luffy grinned, showing his white teeth.

"On one condition: y'all be eatin' all yar meals 'ere, on my ship."

"Cool! I'll tell the crew! Say, when do the Winking Waiters perform?"

Zeff huffed. "Them ungrateful bastards were offered ta perform at Upper Broadway on Terra. Some Terran shit saw 'em 'ere, and just 'ired 'em. But they'll be forgotten in a year or so."

"No Winking Waiters then? Darn!"

"Owna Zeff!" someone shouted. One of the cooks, a muscular man with earrings and a black goatee, barged into the office.

"What's up, Paddy?" the chef asked.

"Sanji's abeatin' a costma agein!" he answered.

Zeff sighed. "That's tha fird 'un this week. Tha li'l eggplant's gonna be tha deff o' me."

The two cooks rushed downstairs. Luffy shrugged his shoulders, straightened his hat and followed. In the dining hall, he quickly found his crew and the two bounty hunters, who were busy staring at a young blonde man who was holding that Marine lieutenant from earlier by the neck. The soldier had a torn uniform and a battered face, with blood streaming down from his nose. Behind him, by a broken table, a young lass was whimpering.

Luffy sat down at the table, which was round, between Nami and Zoro. "What did I miss?"

"The Marine was an asshole and the waiter's in the middle of beating him to a pulp," Nami explained. "Well, mostly kicking. I think he said that he needs to keep his hands clean, for the kitchen."

"I believe he said he was a 'sous chef'?" Usopp chimed in. "He has this outrageous accent for some reason, so I'm unsure whether I heard him correctly."

Fullbody struggled against the sous chef holding him by the neck. "Let go... Let me go..."

"Let 'im go, Sanji!" Paddy said. Next to him, Zeff stared at the young man menacingly.

"He behaved very disrespectfully, Patty," San-Jacques said. "He srew his food away, dishonoured his lady, caused a scene..."

"'Ow many times do ach hafta tell ye! It's Paddy! Patty's a lassie's name!"

"And I always tell you zat it's San-Jacques."

"Let 'im go, Sanji!" Paddy repeated. "He's a payin' costuma! A costuma is king, rememba!? Ye bleedin' eejit!"

" _Oui_. And we all know what we do wis kings. We behead zem."

"Ach'll behead ye, ye good-fer-nuffin', arse-wipin', shite eatin' bowl o' feckin' fruit salad!"

The sous chef dropped the Marine, letting him fall on his behind, and turned to the other cook. "Let's settle zis like gentlemen zen, you silly-looking, hamster-faced, smelly steamed apple of ze ground."

The people cheered as the two cooks had a go at each other. Kicks and insults were thrown liberally as they fought, right on the stage. The crowd was most certainly entertained; this is what they had come for: the food and the show.

"Yeah, kick his arse!"

"Wallop 'im!"

" _Arruwrwerr_!" 'Fight!"

"Hallelujah, motherfuckers!"

"Off with his hat!"

"Woo!"

Luffy, too, found himself chanting: "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" while rhythmically slamming his fists on the table.

Zeff, meanwhile, helped the battered Marine up. "Sorry about that. Sanji sometahms gets a li'l... violent. But look on tha bight side... ya didn' get dragged inta tha Combat Cooks performance."

The Marine huffed. "The fuck's wrong with this restaurant?! You people are crazy!"

"Watch yar mouth. We're still tha 'uns servin' tha food 'ere," Zeff warned.

The two cooks were still going at it. As entertaining as it was for the patrons, there was other work to be done in the restaurant: food needed to be prepared, orders to be taken, costumers to be served. So, Zeff stepped in.

"That's 'nuff, kids!" his voice boomed.

The two cooks immediately stopped, Sanji's leg right on Paddy's neck, the other cook backed against a pillar. The crowd groaned. "Bummer!" "Boooo!" "Blueberries!" "Balls!"

"Git back ta work, you two!" the owner commanded. He addressed his costumers: "Tha Combat Cooks, ladies and gents! Tha show starts in six hours!"

The room calmed down again as the patrons went back to their meals and the cooks into the kittchen. Fullbody sat at a table next to the boroken one, waiting for his date to come back from the bathroom, where she had gone to clean herself up - after which, he expected, they would be leaving. Paddy straightened his suit and went to take orders. San-Jacques did the same, heading for the Straw Hats' table.

"'Állo, 'állo! Welcome to ze Baratíe, ze best food you can eat in space, etcetera, etcetera. My name is San-Jaques. What can I get you?"

Luffy smiled at the sous chef. He was impressed by his display of combat prowes. "Aye, we'd like to have something to eat."

"Ah, connect to ze ship's network for ze menu," he instructed. "We have a wide variety of diets, for all ze different species, I sink we have somesing for ze psittack as well."

As the crew were looking at the menu on their communicators, Sanji's eyes turned towards their navigator. "And who is zis... gorgeous _mademoiselle_?"

Nami looked at him and gave him a devilish smile. "Name's Nami. Nami Chiosu."

"Olala!" San-Jacques took her hand and kissed it. "Tell me, _mademoiselle_ Nami, what's a girl like you doing in ze company of zese scoundrels?" Next to him, Luffy turned his eyes towards him suspiciously.

"What can I say? Nice girls like dangerous men."

"Heh. 'Nice' girls." Zoro muttered.

"Ah! _Mademoiselle_ , I must be honest wis you. Ze moment I gazed upon your beauty, my heart was yours. Oh woe, but what tragedy, for soon, you shall leave wis ze fartheads, while I shall stay here. Oh woe, if only I could leave wis you. If only. For I would do anysing for you."

"Well, if that's so..." Nami said, grinning. "... these prices are a bit high, don't you think?"

"Oh, fear not, _mademoiselle_ , for you can eat for free; I'll pay for your meal."

"You shall do no such thing!" Luffy blurted out. Realising what he had just said, he quickly continued: "Because... I'll be paying for her... For everyone... That's right, crew, today's lunch is on me!"

"Hoorah," Polly said emotionlessly.

Sanji staired at the young captain for a few moments. His outburst had taken him by surprise. There was this... fire in the pirate's eye. The sous chef smiled and nodded. "Very well. Ze scumbag shall be paying."

Just then, someone barged through the door, a Marine private. "Lieutenant Fullbody, sir! Sir! The prisoner! He's escaped!"

Fullbody stood up. "What?! He escaped?!"

"Yeah, and he's already killed seven men, sir!"

The officer shook his head. "No, that's impossible! He was starved when we found jim in that escape pod! And we never fed him! How can he take a Marine crew?!"

"He did, sir, he-..."

WZHOOM!

Silence washed over the room as the private fell on his face slowly, his head burnt through. A man entered the room, walking over his corpse. A human male of Central Asian roots, to be exact. Thin, short, with a scruffy hair and beard. He slowly marched through the room, with hunched shoulders and a lowered head and fell onto the nearest chair.

Fullbody reached to the right side of his belt, only to realise that the sidearm, which should have been there, had been left aboard the ship. 'Damn! I knew I should have taken it with me! But no, 'it would be inapropriate to wear on a date!' Stupid, stupid, stupid!' He slowly started to back away, bumping into his date, who had just returned from the lavatory, in the process.

Paddy broke the silence and walked towards the criminal. "Welcome, ye pansy-faced horse-lover!" he greeted in a polite tone. "Welcome to tha Baratie, best food ye can eat in space, and all tha'!"

"Food!" the man demanded.

"Aye, aye, we have lots of tha'!" Paddy confirmed. "But how're ye gonna pay fer yer meal?"

The man pointed his gun at him. "How about a few million joules? Give me food!"

Paddy shook his head. "We ain' a charity! No money, no food!" He knocked the gun out of the starved man's hand.

Without his weapon, the man took a different approach. "Please... Just a slice of bread. Anything!"

But Paddy would have none of it. He grabbed the starved criminal by the collar, dragged him towards the door and threw him out. He rubbed his hands together and went back to work.

Fullbody sighed in relief. The situation had drawn close to an incident, but the cook had straightened things out. It seemed that the prisoner was in no shape to fight or run and his escaping had been nothing but a fluke. He turned towards his date, who had cleaned up her dress a bit and was ready to leave with her. She, however, wasn't.

"We've already ordered," she reasoned. "And the food is good. We ought to stay." She subtly caught the gaze of the sous chef who had humiliated the Marine lieutenant earlier. Despite the fact that she had got her dress soaked with the soup, that had been rather entertaining. Probably the most entertaining date she had been on. And the young fool of a cook seemed ready to please, what with his flirting with her. What fun!

The young man was at the moment carrying a bowl of soup towards the exit, where the starved prisoner had been thrown out. Luffy, noticing this, decided to follow. The sous chef intrigued him. He seemed a capable fighter and was probably skilled in the kitchen, being a sous chef. Plus, as Nami had said, they were in need of a nutrition officer.

He found him in the corridor leading to the ship's exit hatch, offering the soup to the starved pirate, who was lying on the ground. The man was giving him a questioning look.

"What are you... What are you doing?"

The sous chef set the bowl, filled to the brim with warm, thick fish soup, in front of him and gave him a spoon. "I am feeding you, _monsieur_ ," he stated. " _Bon_ _appetit_."

The man didn't need to be told twice. He dug into the fish soup, gratefully slurping without a care for etiquette. He moaned as the delicious soup filled his empty stomach with warmth, the feeling of revitalisation washing over his depleted body.

"Don't stuff yourself so," the cook warned, lighting a cigarette. "It's not good for ze stomach. You'll end up srowing up."

The starved prisoner slowed his pace. "Won't you get into trouble? For feeding a non-paying reject?"

"Zey don't need to find out, do zey?" the sous chef stated, blowing smoke rings.

Luffy chuckled. "You are a mysterious one, aren't you?"

San-Jacques turned towards him. "Ah. Ze scumbag gentleman wis ze straw hat."

The young captain offered him his hand. "Captain Monkey D. Luffy."

The sous chef didn't shake it. "San-Jacques. Just San-Jacques. 'Ow can I help you?"

Luffy lowered his hand, no being deterred by his disrespect. "Well Sanji Justsanji... You are a weird one. First, you beat up that Marine, now you're feeding this poor man... There's more to you than meets the eye."

"San-Jacques," the sous chef corrected. "I couldn't let ze poor man starve. Most people don't even realise what it's like to be 'ungry. Really 'ungry. I do, though. And it's somesing I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy."

Luffy hummed. "Can't say I know the feeling. Never gone really hungry myself. Zoro might. By the way, interesting fighting style you've got!"

"Ah, _oui_. Ze point is to only use ze legs. A cook must never get his 'ands dirty."

"Aha. So that's why you stand on your hands and fight with the legs?"

"Well... It's all part of ze act mainly, wis ze Combat Cooks."

The now-fed escsped prisoner burped. Rubbing his now full stomach, he got up. "That was the best meal I've ever had! Sir, you've saved my life! I won't forget this." He bowed slightly. "Allow me to introduce myself: Ginghis Kiyad, but they call me 'Demon' Gin."

"I did what any decent sentient would do," San-Jacques said. "Where will you go now?"

"I'll go find my crew. I serve commodore Don Krieg, you see. The pirate with a flottila of fifty ships! Well, it used to be fifty, anyway. We got seperated a week or two ago, while escaping the Grand Line, when our already decimated flottila clashed with a swarm of deep-space creatures. Well anyway, thank you. Bye!" With that, the man left.

Luffy pointed at San-Jacques. "I want you for my crew, Sanji!"

The sous chef sighed. "It's San-Jacques. But if you have to shorten it to 'Sanji', at least pronounce it properly: 'Sao-jeaux'."

"That's what I said, 'Sehn-gee'! Anyway, I want you to join my crew!" he repeated.

" _Non_. Even if I wanted to, I can't leave. First, I have to repay my debt."

"I can straighten things out with the owner. You'll be leaving with us... when we fix the warp."

"I refuse."

"You can't. You're not a member yet, so you have no right to veto my decree."

" _Non_ means no."

"SANJI, YA STEWPID EGGPLANT! GIT BACK TA WORK!" Zeff's voice could be heard from the restaurant.

Luffy sighed. "Looks like we are out of time. I'll convince you yet. Come on, you haven't taken our order yet."

San-Jacques looked in the way of the departing pirate, Gin. He was heading back towards the Marine battleship, next to which, a canoe-class starship was landing. He then extinguished the cigarette and threw it in a nearby rubbish bin. He followed the young pirate towards his company's table. "'Allo, Patty! Some new costumers just arrived."

"Ach, right. AND IT'S PADDY!"

The sous chef ignored his correction and turned towards the Straw Hats' table. "So, what would you like?"

"First, the drinks," Luffy said. "What would you suggest?"

"Would ze gentlemen (and ravishing lady) want beer or wine?"

"Uh... beer."

"Ah, zen we 'ave ze Monker wheat and unfiltered, light or dark, or Kramah, Academy or Sundown IPA."

"Seven dark Monkers then, big ones. And a bowl of water for Chouchou."

"... and water for ze dog. And to eat?"

"Alright," Luffy began. "For starters, an assortment of cold cuts, a mixed pâté and canapés. Then, for the main course... what are 'Chef's veal roles'?"

"Ah, old man Zeff's favourite dish. Scrambled eggs, mushrooms and Prosciutto - zat is, 'ow you say, dry ham - rolled into a veal steak, fried Wiener style. And, I would sugest tartar sauce wis it, and a side of _pommes frites_."

"'Pom free'?"

"Zat is fried sticks of, uh, apples of ze ground."

"Apples of the ground? What are those."

"Ah, I forgot ze Common word... 'Allo, Carne! 'Ow do you call _pommes de terre_ in Common?"

"Potatoes!"

"Right, _merci_. So, fried potatoes."

"Ah, you mean frenfries?" Nami asked.

"We call them chips," Usopp stated.

Luffy nodded. "I'll have that. Then grilled chicken nuggets and gratinated potatoes, a T-bone steak and grilled asparagi, a veal steak stuffed with gorgonzola and vegetable rice, pork medallions and bread, a baked sausage with potato salad, and minced pork patties with vegetables, extra onions. Oh, and a sausage for Chouchou."

"... a sausage for ze dog."

"And for dessert, chocolate cake, chocolate mousse, frout pie, cheesecake, lemon cake, a muffin and an assortment of cheeses."

"... very good, scumbagged _monsieur_."

Then, the captain adressed his companions, sitting around the table: "So, what are you guys having? Remember, I'm paying. Just don't order anything too lavish."

Sanji, sorry, San-Jacques proceeded to take their orders, making sure to pick out the most expensive dish for Nami. Luffy wasn't sure wether the sous chef was trying to flirt with her or just doing it to annoy him. Or both... Anyway, with all the orders taken, San-Jacques retreated into the kitchen.

"So, what'd ah say," Johnny started. "Good atmosphere, good food... and ah can't wait for the Winking Waiters."

"Actually, there'll be no Winking Waiters," Luffy said. "Aye, they went to perform at Upper Broadway. And we all know what happens there."

"Upper Broadway?" Yosaku asked. "Dammit. I'll sure miss them. I liked their songs a lot... 'Evenin', Squire'... 'Nudge, Nudge'... 'Slept with a Lady'..."

"Well, at least there'll be Combat-..." Luffy started, but was interrupted.

"Excuse me!" a synthesised voice said. It was a hchappa. It was dark-gray skinned, with two red eyes on its octopus-like head. Or rather, duodecapus-like, since there were twelve ten-centimetre tentacles growing from the front of its face. The red habit it wore covered its body like a curtain. It had spoken through a voice synthesiser, a small speaker which was attached to its neck and connected with a wire to a magnetic input device attached to its temple, since hchappas were unable to produce the types of sounds most sentients used for communication.

"Can we help you, uhhh... sir? Ma'am?"

"Sir," the hchappa stated. He made choking noises, followed by clicking and the clapping of a few of his tentacles, then the synthesiser spoke again: "..., bishop of the Holy Inquisition. We have been granted access into Republic space to search for a wanted criminal." He pulled out a printed photo of another hchappa, this one dressed in brown, with a white cap on its head. Also, while the bishop had a straght-shaped head sticking backwards, this one's was more rounded, curved downwards. "Have you seen this nun?"

They had a good look at her.

"Nope," Nami said, "can't say I have."

"No."

"You all look the same anyway," the psittack stated.

"What's she wanted for anyway?" Yosaku asked.

"Her crimes include, but are not limited to, heresy, blasphemy and starship theft," the bishop eexplained. "If you see her, inform your local authorities. They'll contact us." And so, the inquisitor left to ask the other patrons.

"Okay, where were we?" Luffy asked. "Aha, the Combat Cooks! I've recruited that sous chef, Sanji, for our crew."

"Oh really? Good show!" Usopp said.

"So, the slimebag's comming with us?" Zoro asked.

"Aye. Well, first I need to trick him into signing up."

"Ah, so you haven't really recruited him yet, have you?" Nami said dryly.

"Well, technically... he'll be coming with us, he just doesn't know it yet."

"Of course," Polly chimed in. "Why wouldn't he want to leave the secure employment at a prestigious restaurant where he works a job he really enjoys, to go work for some child with dreams of wealth and fame who'll drag him into the most dangerous region of the Galaxy?"

"Exactly!" Luffy exclaimed. "Besides, I've got three days to convince him. That's more than three times as much time as it took me to convince you, Zoro. Not to mention you, Nami."

"Yeah, speaking of three days..." Nami started. "That's gonna cost us, eating every meal here."

"While they conversed, Paddy was busy greeting the two new costumers. "Welcome to tha Baratie, best food ye can eat in space, and all tha'!"

"Hello!" One of them greeted back. He was a tall and slim chestnut-haired man of half-asian half-european origins, with a small nose, a cleft in his chin, thin lips and brown eyes. "As you can see from our attire, we are two inconspicuous merchants, who happened to be travelling through this system, when we felt rather peckish. Therefore, we set course here, to treat ourselves to your nutritious and exquisite sustenance, as well as refreshing libation."

"Yes," the other agreed. He was rather short and somewhat bulky, of arabic origins, with black hair, green eyes, a fat nose with a shape that one would asociate with a potato and a wrikled face. "And we'd like something to eat and drink, too."

The taller one yanked him by the ear. "Silence."

Paddy rubbed his hands. "We 'ave lots of tha', ye monkeys," he said politely.

"Oh, and one more thing," the taller costumer said, raising his voice. "Who would be the owner of the Pipistrellus sloop-of-war-class starship?"

Fullbody rose from his seat. "That'd be me!"

Sighting him, the man's mouth twitched for a moment, almost forming a smile. "The gentleman in a prisoner's attire took off with it."

It took a while for that to sink in. "WHAT!?"

"Yes. He said he'll find his commodore and take him here."

"WHAT!? WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HIM?!"

"As a civilian, it is not my duty to prevent Marine property from getting stolen."

Fullbody, infuriated, ran out of the restaurant, though it was already too late. The merchant adressed his companion: "Inconspicuous merchant underling."

"Yes, mister inconspicuous merchant captain?"

"Make note of the fact that I am amused."

"Yes, sir."

Luffy, who had heard the exchange, was rubbing his chin in thought. 'Take his commodore here? Take him here? They got decimated? A week or two?' He grinned. "Crew, I'll pay for all our meals here!"

"Hm? What? Why?" Nami asked.

"It's all part of my cunning plan, actually," was all he gave her.


	15. Three days-a

"Sanji! More beer!"

It was lunchtime, on the final day of their stay at the Baratie. The Straw Hats and the two bounty hunters were sitting at their regular table, waiting for their last meal in the Space Restaurant. Three days had been spent repairing their warp core until finally, the computer announced it functional.

"So anyway, where was I?" Luffy spoke. "Ah, right. So, no matter how much I ate, I always stayed lanky as fuck. I mean look at these arms!"

"Pff! Weak!" Zoro joked.

"And yet, whenever we had our mandatory med exam with school, you know what the doc said?" He spoke in an exagerated monotonous tone: "'You. Are. Overweight.'"

His crew laughed heartily. The idea of their captain being overweight was unbelievable. He rarely took off his coat, but now that it was hanging off the back of his chair and he was sitting with only his T-shirt covering his torso, his arms were visible to them all. And they were, in a word, underwhelming. As thin as twigs. If they didn't know he was rubber, they'd think they could be snapped easily. He certainly looked anything but overweight. Then again, he didn't look strong either, but seeing him in battle had proven to them that he packed a punch as powerful as a pistol.

"Ah, Sanji! Say, have you decided to join our crew yet?"

San-Jacques, putting their beers on the table, frowned. "Non. And stop asking."

"Eh, you'll come around eventually."

For the past three days, Luffy had been trying to persuade the sous chef to join him on his grand adventure... to completely no avail. The blonde Francian was set on staying on the Baratie, no matter what. Despite his refusals, however, Luffy was sure that the sous chef actually wanted to leave and see the stars. He thought back to his conversation with chef Zeff.

* * *

"Sanji? Ya want Sanji fer yar crew?"

"Aye. He's a skilled fighter and a master cook."

Zeff huffed. "Ya can 'ave 'im if ya can convince 'im ta join."

"Really? Great!"

"Don' get yar 'opes up. Tha li'l eggplant is dead convinced he need ta... 'repay 'is debt ta me' or summin."

"Aye, he mentioned that. What's that all about?"

The chef was silent for a few moments. "Guess I can tell ya, old pirate to tha new gen... giennerayshun. Ya see, it was in my last year as a pirate that I got myself one of them pardons; I had friends in tha right places, ya see. I finally had enough money ta finally settle down an' open a restaurant, just like I always dreamed of.

"For old times sake, I decided to 'ave one good ol' raid, one final robbery to say goodbye. We set an ambush with our ship in tha Cozia star system. In two days, a cruise galleon warped in. Orbit, I think it was called. Full o' them rich folks to rob: a perrfict targit.

"Them didn' put much of a fight, none. Quickly surrenedered. Except for one: a small kitchen boy attacked me, thinkin' we was thar to steal food"

"Sanji?"

"None other. I asked: 'Boy. Why do ya fight? What ambition drives ya tor risk yar life like this?' And he said he wants to see tha Galaxy and master all of her kitchens, become a master chef o' master chefs. An inspiring goal, I say.

"But afore I could say anythin' more, an alarm warmed o' one o' them solar flares. Don' know how we missed that in tha mornin'. It was close, minutes away. I ordered to evacuate, but most of tha tech was already bein' fried. So, I grabbed tha kid and ran to tha excape pods. But most o' them was out of order and ther wasn' nuff room in tha rest. With only seconds ta spare, I ran, with tha kid, to tha cargo hold and hid in one o' them preservation chambers they use to store food. Urban myth is they can block out radiation. I put that myth to tha test."

"And? Do they?"

"I'm still here, ain' I? Anyway, me and Sanji were tha only survivors that day. But back then, I felt like we might as well have died. Both ships' systems were fried and tha backup life support systems only last a few weeks. Tha system wasn' exactly a major route and it would take a month afore anyone noticed a cruise liner was gone.

"Food rations wasn' plenty either. The only food that remained was in tha chamber, and it was just a few cans o' fish. So, I lied to tha boy, sayin' I had food aboard my ship and he could have wahtever was left on tha cruise liner. He said: 'Fine! And keep away from me!' Thats what I did. I don' know how long it was, There was no way to keep track o' time. I sat for a long time, my leg my only food."

"You ate your leg?!"

"Well it definitely didn' get infected and then amputated. I didn' want tha kid to starve. No one deserves to starve. But Sanji ate all o' his rations, probably didn' take him long, there wasn' much to begin with, and, when he beat his pride, he came to me to ask for food. When he saw what I did, he was shocked. Since then, that li'l eggplant is convinced he has some sort o' debt to pay.

"I don' want him to waste his life here. My life is tha restaurant now, but he's still young. If ya can convince him, he should come with ya."

"Thanks. But I'm still left with one question."

"Yeah?"

"How did you two survive?"

"Oh. A merchantman was passin' through, happened ta see us."

"... No spaceturtles then?"

* * *

Luffy would never admit it, but he was running out of ideas. No matter what he tried, the sous chef would not be swayed. And he had tried everything: promises of wealth and fame, wenches and meat, adventure and excitement; all of them were turned down. With each day, Sanji only got more annoyed with the pirate captain, if anything.

The lad sighed, slowly drinking his beer. As he put his tankard down, he noticed the two... 'inconspicuous merchants observing him. Upon noticing that his eyes were turned towards them, they quickly hid their gazes behind their communicators. Luffy hummed. The two strange individuals had stayed at the Baratie for the past three days. 'Why?' he wondered. 'Are they waiting for a contact? Is that why they turned me down?'

* * *

"Say, Luffy?" Nami got the captain's attention.

"Hm?"

"Those two people look suspicious. They've been staring at us since they arrived. Who do you reckon they are?"

"Oh, them? Didn't you hear how they introduced themselves? 'Inconspicuous merchants'. It's obvious."

"It is?"

"They're smugglers. Shanks told me that's how they introduce themselves. He taught me their code." He took a sip of beer. "I'll go talk to them, maybe I can sell them our stolen goods."

He walked towards the two 'inconspicuous merchants' a tipped his hat in greeting. The two stared at him with unreadable expressions.

"Lovely weather we're having, fellow merchants!"

"But we're in spac-..." the shorter one began, only to be yanked by the ear by his boss.

"Silence, underling," the taller man said sternly, before addressing Luffy: "But we're in space."

The straw-hatted lad smiled. "It is the waves of space what moves us, from place to place, and matterials change hands to travel to distant lands, where they haven't been before, even since the times of yore, cannot be tracked by the eye, so their home systems cry... for their loss."

The 'inconspicuous merchant' narrowed his eyes. "If you came here to recite poetry, sir, I regret to inform you, no interests in me do you stir. If there is nothing else... Underling, think of a rhyme."

"Uh-... uh-... take your business somewhere else? Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Pathetic. Do I have to do everything myself?" He directed his attention back at the pirate, only to realise that he had left, returning to his table. "Oh. He went back to eat his shells."

Luffy sat back down next to Nami and dug back into his mussels. "They aren't buying. They're full."

* * *

"Say, captain?" Nami asked him as he finished his drink.

"Hm?"

"Today's our last day here. Which means you're gonna have to pay our bill soon, yeah?"

"Yes."

"I was wondering... How are you planning to pay for all this? We've had plenty of expensive stuff, not to mention you always ordering a three-course meal. You don't have that much money, do you?" she leaned towards him, making sure he had a view down her top. "I can help you out," she continued, with a more seductive voice. "I can lend you some of my money... at a reasonable interest rate of, say... 25 percent... a day."

Luffy, who had a quick shameless gaze down her top with the look of a posh art critic, shook his head. "Won't be necessary. Thanks for the offer, but one really shouldn't pay with money one doesn't have. Besides, my cunning plan will take care of our bill."

"Ah yes, your 'cunning plan'. You've mentioned it several times during the past three days, but never elaborated. What exactly is this plan?"

The captain checked the clock on his communicator. "You'll see... in the next three hours, if I'm not mistaken."

Suddenly, the ground beneath their feet shook, the vibrations producing a faint sound of a crash. The people in the restaurant held onto the nearest tables or walls for balance. A few cried in surprise. The shaking swiftly stopped, leaving everybody stunned for a few moments.

After a few moments of stunned silence, one of the cooks, Paddy, went out to see what had caused the quake. Waiting for him quietly, everyone speculated what that was. Perhaps the asteroid had crashed into another asteriod, one of a considerable size? Had there been an explosion aboard one of the ships? Or, did somebody crash-land nearby.

Paddy returned after half a minute. "A war-galleon-class, all battered, jus' crashed next ta us!"

Luffy hummed. "That was quick," he muttered.

"What was quick?" Zoro asked.

All the eyes of the table were now on the captain. He stood up. "Gentlemen! Lady. There's about to be a punch-up. Don't order any food, please."

The dining chamber went silent. Thumps could be heard from outside the door, steps as loud as a giant's. They were slow and uneven, but they were coming their way. The people awaited, uttering no word, all eyes on the door. The tension filling the room got thicker and thicker with each consecutive step. And, after that bild up, though the door came the climax.

It came in the form of a male human, a mountain of a man. His short grey hair and sideburns gave him the look of a gruff, experienced man, but from his face it was evident that he couldn't be much older than fourty. He wore a fur-lined black cape, which was torn, burnt and otherwise damaged. However, the most notable thing about him was his powered armour: golden, fur lined, evidently equiped with weaponry. This intimidating figure, however, was ruined by the bandage he had over his forehead and the look on his face. His eyes were just begging for help.

"Welcome, ye good-fer-nuthin', piss-stained tuna can, to tha Baratie, best food ye can eat in space, and all tha'!"

"... Food," the man uttered. "I beg of you, give me food."

"Food? We 'ave lots o' tha'," Paddy confirmed. "But say, why for tha love o' Christ would we do tha', ye snivelin' cunt?"

He went on his knees. "Please! Have mercy? It... it would be the Christian thing to do, right?"

"Tha Christian thing, huh? Tha's rich, comin' from yer gob, Don Krieg! What did ye say agein when ye demolished tha' cathedral? 'Tha Dead God is a lie! There is only tha God of War!'"

"Please! He'll pay!" That was Gin, who had entered the dining chamber. "We have money this time."

"Nay! Ye two can piss off! We ain' givin' ye shit, ye-..."

"'Ere." That was Sanji, who had arrived with a bowl of stew. "Eat up, monsieur."

"Oh! Thank you! Bless you!" Without another word, the commodore in powered armour dug in, gulping down the stew like a man who hasn't eaten in weeks - which is what he was.

"Sanji! Wha' tha feck do ye think ye're doin'?!"

"He's 'ungry. As a cook, it is my duty to feed ze 'ungry."

"Do ye realise who he is!? Tha moment our backs are turned, he'll take advantage o' us!" Paddy went towards Krieg, who was on his knees, eating. He was aiming to kick his food from under his nose.

"Paddy!" Zeff''s voice stopped him. "Let tha guy eat 'is food!"

"But owna Zeff, he-..."

"Hunger is a sufferin' I wouldn' wish on mah worst enemy, Paddy. Let 'im eat."

"Owna Zeff, I-..."

"*BURP*!" Krieg, who had stuffed himself like a pig, wiped his mouth and got up. "Thank's for the food. Now... Here's my ultimatum: first, I demand food for a hundred more people; two once those people are fed, I'll be taking over this ship, so you all have to clear out by then; and three, you, Red Leg Zeff, will be giving me your navigation logs, from the times you sailed the Grand Line."

There were a few moments of silence as the gathered people took in what Don had said. Paddy was the first to break the silence: "Ye'll be gettin no food, ye cowardly arse-faced-..."

"I'll see what I can do," Sanji interrupted, going into the kitchen.

"Wha-... Sanji!" Paddy yelled.

"Let 'im prep tha food, Paddy!" Zeff, ordered. He then addressed the man in powered armour: "Ya can 'ave tha food, but tha otha two... no way! Tha restaurant is my life, an' I'll protect it with my life. As for tha navi logs... I don' have 'em. Solar flare fried 'em."

Commodore Don Krieg laughed, his powered armour humming loudly as he moved his fists to his hips. "I don't think you understand your tactical situation, old man! I have a crew of a hundred bloodthirsty buccaneers, while you have what, exactly? Half a dozen martial arts performers? Or are you expecting that your costumers will fight for you? You will give me this ship and your logs, or you will all die!"

Gin inhaled sharply. "But commodore, you promised-..."

"Stay out of this Gin!" the commodore grabbed the Demon by the collar, lifting him up. "You clearly don't see the big picture here! Think back. Think back to our expedition into the Grand Line. Think back to what happened to our flotilla. Drawn into that asteroid field, then ambushed. Decimated, and by three measly sloops, no less. And then, that nest of space bugs! With Zeff's navigation logs, I could rebuild my notoriety, raise it ten-fold!"

"Three sloops, huh?" the restaurant's owner wondered. "And drawing ya into an asteroid field, eh? Tha' sounds like Mihawk. Wha', didja raid in 'is territory or wha'?"

"You know that piratical son of a bitch?" Krieg asked.

"Well, he's a privateer, technically, with letters of marque from tha Terran Guvment an' Sanghto & sons'. Not a bad guy, once ya get ta know 'im."

Sanji returned from the kitchen, with a large bag of food, and placed the order in front of the commodore in powered armour. "'Ere, food for an 'undred people, as ordered, monsieur."

Don Krieg picked the bag up and slung it over his shoulder. He gazed over the restaurant for a few moments, before giving Zeff a pointed look. "One hour." With those words, he turned around to leave.

Gin turned towards the sous chef. "I'm sorry, friend," he said, before following his commodore, leaving the restaurant.

Silence washed over the room as soon as the heavy steps of the powered armour suit faded out. A tense atmosphere formed, one could even swear that one could hear a distant sound of the trumpets of war. Nobody moved, nobody spoke. All waited for someone to break the silence.

Sighing, Zeff addressed his costumers: "Whelp, this is it. We're gonna get attacked, and by Kriegs crew no less. He'll destroy this here restaurant if we don' stop 'im. No more great food. No more Combat Cooks. No more happy faces as ya, dear costumers get served yar favourite meals. We hafta defend this here restaurant we hold dear. Now, who's with me?!"

Without missing a beat, his costumers got up, took their coats and took off through the front door.

"Look at the time! I really should get going."

"I don't wanna be late."

"Wurr!" 'Bye!"

One by one, the loyal costumers of the Baratie left, rushing out the door. They might have loved the food served at the Space Restaurant, but it really wasn't worth dying for. They most certainly weren't facing a pirate commodore for it. After all, it wasn't their fight. And, to be quite frank, the prices were a bit steep anyway.

Zeff's face fell. He hadn't expected much but he had hoped for at least some help. But now, he was outnumbered and, being severely out of practice, also outmatched. "It's over," he sighed.

"Owna..."

"Don't bothar, Paddy. We've no chance ta win. I won't ask ya ta throw yar lives away."

"This restaurant is as much of a home ta us as it is ta ye, owna Zeff."

"Yeah."

"We'll fight by yer side."

Zeff smiled slightly. "Thanks. But even so... We have no chance."

"Oh, but you do."

That was Luffy, who had approached the group of cooks and was leaning on a nearby table. "There are many ways you could win this."

Zeff stared at the young man. "Yar still here? Ya must know a way ta win then?"

The straw-hatted pirate grinned. "I do. But... It'll cost you."

"Why ye black-livered lanky brat! Krieg will kill ye too, ye know!" Paddy yelled. "Jus' tell us!"

"It's not much, really," Luffy assured. "I just want you to erase my tab, that's all. Then, my crew and I will help you out."

"We will?" Usopp asked.

The owner considered the young captain's offer. Paddy looked like he was about to protest but San-Jacques beat him to it.

"I say we listen to ze scumbag gentleman's plan."

"Ah! Sanji! I knew you'd come around!"

"Still not joining your crew."

"Darn!"

Zeff hummed. "Alright. Ya help us, it pays yar bill."

"But owna, he-..."

"Fantastic!"

Usopp furiously got up. "Are you crazy!? We can't go up against Don Krieg and a hundred bloodthirsty pirates! He was wearing a Yamaha PS67X34 powered armour! It uses a Chitin-X51 powered exoskeleton, and can be fitted with rocket launchers, both laser and kinnetic guns, an energy shield generator and is made of the best plating!"

Luffy grabbed an opened bottle of wine that was left on one of the tables. "Powered armour is for pussies!"


End file.
